Greetings!
We are having our monthly Let's Make a Scene on Wednesday July 5th from 7:30 to 8:30 PM
We will read The 30-Minute Shakespeare adaptation of this play over Zoom; be silly, overact, underact, react, act naturally,
act as if you are Judy Dench or Laurence Olivier or Bart Simpson; anything goes!
No experience necessary; just a desire for fun and play!
Here is the Zoom link:
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84018884958?pwd=MkNtM3Y3U2ZsVDlJcXFnR1ZVWHlSQT09
Here is a link to the script in Word and PDF:
Then you can either print it out or read it on a tablet or other device!
(We will also past the script into the chat.)
Here is the text, pasted.
See you there!
Nick
Characters in the Play
The following is a list of the characters that appear in this cutting of Henry IV, Part 1.
Falstaff: Sir John Falstaff, a debauched and witty aristocrat
Prince Henry: Also called Harry or Hal; oldest son to King Henry IV
Poins: Companion to Falstaff; gentleman-in-waiting to Prince
Gadshill: Companion to Falstaff
Bardolph: Companion to Falstaff
Peto: Companion to Falstaff
Traveler one
Traveler two
Hostess: Mistress Quickly, hostess of the Boar’s Head Tavern in Eastcheap Mortimer: Edmund Mortimer, Earl of March; brother to Lady Percy, husband to Lady Mortimer
Glendower: Owen Glendower, a Welsh rebel; father to Lady Mortimer Hotspur: Henry Percy, nicknamed Hotspur; son to Earl of Northumberland Lady Mortimer: Daughter to Glendower, wife to Mortimer
Lady Percy: Wife to Hotspur, sister to Mortimer
King Henry IV: Father to Prince Henry; formerly Henry of Bollingbroke Earl of Douglas: Archibald, Earl of Douglas; a Scottish noble
Lancaster: Prince John of Lancaster, also called the Duke ofLancaster; third son to King Henry IV
From King Henry IV, Part 2 (final scene in this cutting):
Pistol: An irregular humorist; Falstaff’s henchman
Shallow: Robert Shallow, a country justice of the peace
King Henry V: Formerly Prince Henry; newly crowned king
Lord Chief-Justice: Attendant to King Henry V; nemesis of Falstaff
Attendant
Narrator
Act I Scene II
Eastcheap. The Boar’s-Head Tavern.
Narrator
Young Prince Henry—called “Harry” or “Hal” by his friends—carouses in the tavern in Eastcheap with the fat knight Jack Falstaff and other friends, including Poins, Hal’s gentleman-in-waiting. Hal and Poins devise a plan to rob Falstaff and company of their stolen money, just for fun and mockery.
Falstaff
Now, Hal, what time of day is it, lad?
Prince Henry
Thou art so fat-witted, with drinking of old sack that thou hast forgotten to demand that truly which thou wouldst truly know. What a devil hast thou to do with the time of the day; unless hours were cups of sack and minutes capons?
Falstaff
Marry, then, sweet wag, when thou art king, let not us that are squires of the night’s body be called thieves of the day’s beauty: let us be Diana’s foresters, gentlemen of the shade, minions of the moon.
Prince Henry
Thou sayest well, and it holds well too; for the fortune of us that are the moon’s men doth ebb and flow like the sea, being governed, as the sea is, by the moon.
Falstaff
Thou hast the most unsavory similes and art indeed the most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince, and art indeed able to corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal; God forgive thee for it!
Prince Henry
Where shall we take a purse tomorrow, Jack?
Falstaff
’Zounds, where thou wilt, lad. Poins!
Prince Henry
Good morrow, Ned!
Poins
Good morrow, sweet Hal. What says Monsieur Remorse?
What says Sir John Sack and Sugar?
My lads, my lads, to-morrow morning, by four o’clock, early at Gadshill! There are pilgrims going to Canterbury with rich offerings, and traders riding to London with fat purses: If you will go, I will stuff your purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and be hanged. [to Falstaff] Sir John, I prithee, leave the prince and me alone: I will lay him down such reasons for this adventure that he shall go.
Falstaff
Farewell; you shall find me in Eastcheap.
Prince Henry
Farewell, thou latter spring! Farewell, All-hallown summer!
Poins
Now, my good sweet honey lord, ride with us tomorrow: I have a jest to execute that I cannot manage alone. Falstaff, Bardolph, Peto, and Gadshill shall rob those men that we have already waylaid: yourself and I will not be there; and when they have the booty, if you and I do not rob them, cut this head off from my shoulders. I know them to be as true-bred cowards as ever turned back; the virtue of this jest will be, the incomprehensible lies that this same fat rogue will tell us when we meet at supper: how thirty, at least, he fought with; and in the reproof of this lies the jest.
Prince Henry
Well, I’ll go with thee.
Poins
Farewell, my lord.
Prince Henry
Herein will I imitate the sun, Who doth permit the base contagious clouds To smother up his beauty from the world, That, when he please again to be himself, Being wanted, he may be more wonder’d at, So, when this loose behavior I throw off
And pay the debt I never promised, By how much better than my word I am, By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes; And like bright metal on a sullen ground, My reformation, glittering o’er my fault, Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I’ll so offend, to make offense a skill; Redeeming time when men think least I will.
Act II, Scene II
The highway, near Gadshill.
Narrator
Falstaff and his band of rogues rob the travelers, but their plan backfires.
Poins
Come, shelter, shelter: I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.
Prince Henry
Stand close.
Falstaff
Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!
Prince Henry
Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! What a brawling dost thou keep!
Falstaff
Where’s Poins, Hal? The rascal hath removed my horse, and tied him I know not where. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another! Give me my horse, you rogues.
Gadshill
Stand.
Falstaff
So I do, against my will.
Bardolph
There’s money of the king’s coming down the hill.
Prince Henry
Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned Poins and I will walk lower: if they ’scape from your encounter, then they light on us.
Peto
How many be there of them?
Gadshill
Some eight or ten
Falstaff
’Zounds, will they not rob us?
Prince Henry
What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?
Falstaff
Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal.
Prince Henry [whispering to Poins]
Ned, where are our disguises?
Poins
Here, hard by: stand close.
Falstaff
Now, every man to his business.
Traveler one
Come, neighbor: the boy shall lead our horses down the hill; we’ll walk afoot awhile, and ease our legs.
Falstaff
Stand!
Traveler two
Jesus bless us!
Falstaff
Strike; down with them; bacon-fed knaves! Fleece them.
Traveler two
O, we are undone, both we and ours for ever!
Falstaff
Ye fat chuffs: on, bacons, on!
Prince Henry
The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month and a good jest for ever.
Poins
Stand close; I hear them coming.
Falstaff
Come, my masters, let us share.
Prince Henry
Your money!
Poins
Villains!
Prince Henry
Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: Falstaff lards the lean earth as he walks along: Were’t not for laughing, I should pity him.
Poins
How the rogue roar’d!
Act II, Scene IV
Eastcheap. The Boar’s-Head Tavern.
Narrator
Prince Henry
Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at the door: shall we be merry?
Poins
As merry as crickets, my lad.
Falstaff
A plague of all cowards! There be four of us here have ta’en a thousand pound this day morning.
Prince Henry
Where is it, Jack? Where is it?
Falstaff
Where is it! Taken from us it is: a hundred upon poor four of us. I have ’scaped by miracle.
I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four through the hose; my sword hacked like a handsaw—ecce signum! A plague of all cowards!
Prince Henry
Why, thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool. We two saw you four set on four and bound them, and were masters of their wealth. Then did we two set on you four; and, with a word, out-faced you from your prize, and have it; and, Falstaff, you carried your guts away with quick dexterity, and roared for mercy. What device canst thou now find out to hide thee from this shame?
Poins
Come, let’s hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?
Falstaff
Why, hear you, my masters: was it for me to kill the true prince? I am as valiant as Hercules, but beware instinct. I was now a coward on instinct. I am glad you have the money.
Prince Henry [to Falstaff]
You fought fair; so did you, Peto; so did you, Bardolph:
You are lions too, you ran away upon instinct, you will not touch the true prince.
Bardolph
’Faith, I ran when I saw others run. [burps]
Falstaff
Tell me, Hal, art thou not horribly afraid?
Prince Henry
Not a whit, i’ faith; I lack some of thy instinct.
Falstaff
Well, thou wert be horribly chid tomorrow when thou comest to thy father: if thou love me, practice an answer.
Prince Henry
Do thou stand for my father, and
examine me upon the particulars of my life.
Falstaff
Shall I? Content: this chair shall be my state, this dagger my scepter, and this cushion my crown. Here is my speech. Stand aside, nobility.
Hostess
O Jesu, this is excellent sport, i’ faith! O, the father, how he holds his countenance! He doth it as like one of these harlotry players as ever I see!
Falstaff
Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle-brain.
Harry, I do not only marvel where thou spendest thy time, but also the company thou keepest:
and yet there is a virtuous man whom I have often noted in thy company, but I know not his name.
Prince Henry
What manner of man, your majesty?
Falstaff
A goodly portly man, i’ faith, and of a cheerful look, and, as I think, his age some fifty, or, by’r lady, inclining to three score; His name is Falstaff: Harry, I see virtue in his looks. Falstaff: him keep with, the rest banish.
prince Henry
Do thou stand for me, and I’ll play my father.
Falstaff
Depose me?
Prince Henry
Well, here I am set.
Falstaff
And here I stand: judge, my masters.
Prince Henry
Now, Harry, whence come you?
Falstaff
My noble lord, from Eastcheap.
Prince Henry
The complaints I hear of thee are grievous.
Falstaff
’Sblood, my lord, they are false.
Prince Henry
Swearest thou, ungracious boy? Thou art violently carried away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee in the likeness of an old fat man.
Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humors, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that stuffed cloakbag of guts, with the pudding in his belly. Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? Wherein villanous, but in all things?Wherein worthy, but in nothing?
Falstaff
Whom means your grace?
Prince Henry
That villanous abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded Satan.
Falstaff
My lord, the man I know.
Prince Henry
I know thou dost.
Falstaff
If to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damned: No, my good lord; banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins: but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not Henry him thy Harry’s company, banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.
Prince Henry
I do, I will.
Act III, Scene I
The Archdeacon’s house.
Narrator
Hot-headed Harry Percy—known as Hotspurtangles with the Welsh Lord Glendower as they plan to divide up the kingdom they intend to conquer.
Mortimer
These promises are fair, the parties sure, And our induction full of prosperous hope.
Hotspur
Lord Mortimer, and cousin Glendower, Will you sit down?
A plague upon it! I have forgot the map.
Glendower
No, here it is. Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur, At my birth the frame and huge foundation of the earth Shaked like a coward.
Hotspur
O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire, And not in fear of your nativity.
Mortimer
Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him mad.
Glendower
Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head Against my power; thrice have I sent him Bootless home and weather-beaten back.
Hotspur
Home without boots, and in foul weather too!
Glendower
Come, here’s the map: shall we divide our right According to our threefold order ta’en?
Mortimer
The archdeacon hath divided it Into three limits very equally:
Hotspur
Methinks my moiety, north from Burton here, In quantity equals not one of yours:
See how this river cuts me from the best of all my land.
It shall not wind with such a deep indent, To rob me of so rich a bottom here.
Glendower
Not wind? It shall, it must; you see it doth.
Hotspur
Who shall say me nay?
Glendower
Why, that will I.
Come, you shall have Trent turn’d.
Hotspur.
Are the indentures drawn? Shall we be gone?
Glendower
The moon shines fair; you may away by night.
Mortimer
Fie, cousin Percy! How you cross my father!
Hotspur
I cannot choose: sometime he angers me. O, he is as tedious as a railing wife.
Mortimer
In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame.
Hotspur
Well, I am school’d: Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.
Hotspur
Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down:
come, quick, quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.
Lady Percy
Go, ye giddy goose.
Hotspur
Now I perceive the devil is a good musician.
Lady Percy
Then should you be nothing but musical for you are altogether governed by humors. Lie still, ye thief, Now God help thee!
Hotspur
To the Welsh lady’s bed.
Lady Percy
What’s that?
Hotspur
Peace. Come, Kate, I’ll have your song too.
Lady Percy
Not mine, in good sooth.
Glendower
Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as slow As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go.
Act III, Scene II
London. The palace.
Narrator
Prince Hal reconciles with his father, King Henry IV, by swearing to fight the rebels and to defeat Hotspur.
King Henry IV
I know not whether God will have it so, For some displeasing service I have done, But thou dost in thy passages of life Make me believe that thou art only mark’d For the hot vengeance and the rod of heaven To punish my mistreadings. Tell me else, Could such inordinate and low desires, Such barren pleasures, rude society, As thou art match’d withal and grafted to, Accompany the greatness of thy blood And hold their level with thy princely heart?
Prince Henry
So please your majesty Find pardon on my true submission. [kneels]
King Henry IV
God pardon thee! Yet let me wonder, Harry, At thy affections, which do hold a wing Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors.
The hope and expectation of thy time Is ruin’d. Harry, thou has lost thy princely privilege With vile participation: not an eye But is a-weary of thy common sight, Save mine, which hath desired to see thee more.
Prince Henry
I shall hereafter be more myself.
King Henry IV
For all the world Percy now leads ancient lords and reverend bishops on To bloody battles and to bruising arms.
Thrice hath this Hotspur, Mars in swathling clothes, Discomfited great Douglas, ta’en him once, And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland, The Archbishop’s grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer, Capitulate against us and are up.
Prince Henry
I will redeem all this on Percy’s head And in the closing of some glorious day Be bold to tell you that I am your son; For the time will come, That I shall make this northern youth exchange His glorious deeds for my indignities. This, in the name of God, I promise here:
And I will die a hundred thousand deaths Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow.
King Henry IV
A hundred thousand rebels die in this:
Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein.
Act V, Scene IV
A field between the camps.
Enter Narrator from stage right, coming downstage center.
Narrator
We are on the battlefield. True colors are revealed, with Hal showing bravery and loyalty, and Falstaff showing that he is, well, still a coward and a liar. (But, somehow, a loveable one!)
Eaerl of Douglas
Another king! They grow like Hydra’s heads:
I am the Douglas, fatal to all those That wear those colors on them: what art thou, That counterfeit’st the person of a king?
King Henry IV
The king himself; I will assay thee: so, defend thyself.
Earl of Douglas
I fear thou art another counterfeit; And yet, in faith, thou bear’st thee like a king: But mine I am sure thou art, whoe’er thou be, And thus I win thee.
Prince Henry
Hold up thy head, vile Scot, it is the Prince of Wales that threatens thee. [Earl of Douglas escapes]
Cheerly, my lord how fares your grace?
King Henry IV
Stay, and breathe awhile:
Thou hast redeem’d thy lost opinion, And show’d thou makest some tender of my life, In this fair rescue thou hast brought to me.
Prince Henry
O God! They did me too much injury That ever said I hearken’d for your death.
Hotspur
If I mistake not, thou art Harry Monmouth. My name is Harry Percy.
Prince Henry
I am the Prince of Wales.
Hotspur
The hour is come To end the one of us; I can no longer brook thy vanities.
Falstaff
Well said, Hal! To it Hal! Nay, you shall find no boy’s play here, I can tell you. [Falstaff falls down, pretends he is dead]
Hotspur
O, Harry, thou hast robb’d me of my youth! Percy, thou art dust And food for—
[Hotspur dies].
Prince Henry
For worms, brave Percy: fare thee well, great heart!
Prince Henry [sees Falstaff on the ground, pretending to be dead.]
What, old acquaintance! Could not all this flesh Keep in a little life? Poor Jack, farewell!
[Exit Prince Henry]
[Falstaff continues to appear dead; after a few moments, he rises up suddenly.]
Falstaff
The better part of valor is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life. ’Zounds, I am afraid of this gunpowder Percy, though he be dead: how, if he should counterfeit too and rise? Therefore, sirrah,
with a new wound in your thigh, come you along with me.
Lancaster
But, soft! Whom have we here?
Did you not tell me this fat man was dead?
Prince Henry
I did; I saw him dead. Art thou alive?
Or is it fantasy that plays upon our eyesight?
Falstaff
No, that’s certain; I am not a double man: but if I be not Jack Falstaff, then am I a Jack. There is Percy. If your father will do me any honor, so; if not, let him kill the next Percy himself. I look to be either earl or duke, I can assure you.
Prince Henry
Why, Percy I killed myself and saw thee dead.
Falstaff
Didst thou? Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying! I grant you I was down and out of breath; and so was he: but we rose both at an instant and fought a long hour by Shrewsbury clock. I gave him this wound in the thigh: if the man were alive and would deny it, ’zounds, I would make him eat a piece of my sword.
Lancaster
This is the strangest tale that ever I heard.
Prince Henry
This is the strangest fellow, brother John.
Falstaff
If I do grow great, I’ll grow less; for I’ll purge, and leave sack, and live cleanly as a nobleman should do.
Act V, Scene 1. additional material from Henry IV, Part 2: Act V, Scene V
Narrator
Time has passed, and Hal is now King Henry V. He rejects Falstaff as part of the former life that he now renounces.
Falstaff
Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the king do you grace: I will leer upon him as a’ comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he will give me.
Pistol
God bless thy lungs, good knight.
Falstaff
Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. This doth show my earnestness of affection.
Shallow
It doth so.
Falstaff
My devotion,—
Shallow
It doth, it doth, it doth.
Falstaff
As it were, to ride day and night; and not to deliberate, but to stand stained with travel, and sweating with desire to see him; as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him.
Pistol
There roar’d the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.
Falstaff
God save thy grace, King Hal! My royal Hal!
Pistol
The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame!
Falstaff
God save thee, my sweet boy!
King Henry V
My lord chief-justice, speak to that vain man.
Lord Chief-Justice have you your wits? Know you what ’tis to speak?
Falstaff
My king! My Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!
King Henry V
I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers.
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
I have long dream’d of such a kind of man, So surfeit-swell’d, so old and so profane; But, being awaked, I do despise my dream. Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:
Presume not that I am the thing I was; For God doth know, so shall the world perceive, That I have turn’d away my former self; So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been, Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast, The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,
Not to come near our person by ten mile. Set on.
Falstaff [to Shallow]
Master Shallow, do not you grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to him: look you, he must seem thus to the world: this that you heard was but a color.
Shallow
A color that I fear you will die in, Sir John.
Falstaff
Fear no colors: go with me to dinner: come, Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph: I shall be sent for soon at night.
Falstaff
I would ’twere bed-time, Hal, and all well.
[Prince Henry’s voice rings out from offstage, an echo from the past].
Why, thou owest God a death.
Falstaff
’Tis not due yet; I would be loath to pay him before his day. What need I be so forward with him that calls not on me? Well, ’tis no matter; honor pricks me on. Yea, but how if honor prick me off when I come on? How then? Can honor set to a leg?
All
No.
Falstaff
Or an arm?
All
No.
Falstaff
Or take away the grief of a wound?
All
No.
Falstaff
What is honor? A word. What is in that word honor?
All
Air.
Falstaff
Who hath it? He that died o’ Wednesday. Doth he feel it?
All
No.
Falstaff
’Tis insensible, then. Yea, to the dead. But will it not live with the living?
All
No
Falstaff
Why? Detraction will not suffer it. Therefore I’ll none of it.
A
Honor is a mere scutcheon.
Falstaff
And so ends my catechism.
all hold hands and bow! Standing ovation!