The30MinuteShakespeare

Bright wishes to you all during this holiday season!  We hope you can join us for our monthly "Let's Make a Scene!"  Thursday, Dec 28th, 2023, 7:30 to 8:30 PM EST we will round-robin read Richard III: The 30-Minute Shakespeare over Zoom.

Be a villainous hunchback King, a grieving-but-easily-seduced widow, a vicious ex-queen, someone soon-to-be murdered, the ghosts of the recently murdered, and more!  All in good fun.

Revel in this Winter of our discontent!

No experience necessary, just show up and read the script in the chat of the Zoom or go to a link I will provide soon to download and print the script or read it on a tablet.

FREE PDF of Richard III: The 30-Minute Shakespeare to all participants.

Be there!  Or be absent at your own peril!

Here is the Zoom Link:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84071820952?pwd=Vm5pbnJaWSsrNU9JTzdqalVXZDRhQT09

Here is the script in PDF, Word and Text (small blue links below the text)

And here is the text pasted.  You can print out or read on a tablet.  Play on!  Nick Newlin

Characters In the Play

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting

of Richard III.

Twenty characters appeared in the original production. This

number can be increased to about thirty or decreased to about

twelve by having actors share or double roles.

For the full breakdown of characters, see Sample Program.

Richard, Duke oF Gloucester: later King Richard III

Clarence: Brother to King Edward and Richard

Guard

Lady Anne: Widow of Prince Edward (son to the late King

Henry VI), later wife to Richard

Queen Elizabeth: King Edward’s wife (formerly the Lady

Grey)

Duke of Buckingham

Queen Margaret: Widow of King Henry VI

James Tyrrell: Gentleman

Narrator

Duchess of York: Mother of Richard, Edward, and Clarence

Ghost of Prince Edward

Ghost of King Henry VI

Ghost oF Lady Anne

Ghost oF Duke of Buckingham

Ghosts of Two Princes

Lord Stanley: Earl of Derby

Earl oF Richmond: Henry Tudor, later King Henry VII

Scene 1. (act i, Scene i.)

Richard

Now is the winter of our discontent

Made glorious summer by this son of York,

Grim-visaged war hath smoothed his wrinkled front; He

capers nimbly in a lady’s chamber To the lascivious

pleasing of a lute.

But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,

I, that am rudely stamped by dissembling nature,

Deformed, unfinished, sent before my time

Into this breathing world scarce half made up,

And that so lamely and unfashionable

That dogs bark at me as I halt by them—

And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover I am

determinèd to prove a villain.

Plots have I laid, inductions dangerous,

By drunken prophecies, libels, and dreams,

To set my brother Clarence and the King

In deadly hate, the one against the other.

.

Dive, thoughts, down to my soul.

Here Clarence comes.

Clarence

I

must, perforce. Farewell.

Brother, good day. What means this armèd guard That

waits upon your Grace?

Clarence

His Majesty,

Tend’ring my person’s safety, hath appointed This

conduct to convey me to the Tower.

Richard

Why, this it is when men are ruled by women. ’Tis not

the King that sends you to the Tower. My Lady Grey

his wife, Clarence, ’tis she That tempers him to this

extremity.

We are not safe, Clarence; we are not safe.

Brother, farewell. I will unto the King,

Meantime, this disgrace in brotherhood

Touches me deeper than you can imagine.

Clarence

I know it pleaseth neither of us well.

Richard

Well, your imprisonment shall not be long.

I will deliver you or else lie for you.

Meantime, have patience.

Richard

Go tread the path that thou shalt ne’er return.

Simple, plain Clarence, I do love thee so

That I will shortly send thy soul to heaven,

Clarence hath not another day to live;

Which done, God take King Edward to His mercy, And

leave the world for me to bustle in. For then I’ll marry

Warwick’s youngest daughter.

What though I killed her husband and her father?

Scene 2. (act i, scene ii.)

Anne

Poor key-cold figure of a holy king,

Thou bloodless remnant of that royal blood,

O, cursèd be the hand that made these holes;

Cursèd the heart that had the heart to do it; If ever he

have wife, let her be made More miserable by the death

of him.

Avaunt, thou dreadful minister of hell.

Thou hadst but power over his mortal body;

His soul thou canst not have. Therefore begone.

Richard

Sweet saint, for charity, be not so curst.

Anne

Behold this pattern of thy butcheries. O, see, see dead

Henry’s wounds !

Open their congealed mouths and bleed afresh!—

Blush, blush, thou lump of foul deformity,

For ’tis thy presence that exhales this blood

From cold and empty veins where no blood dwells.

Thy deeds, inhuman and unnatural,

Provokes this deluge most unnatural.—

Richard

Divine perfection of a woman, I did not kill your

husband.

Anne

Why then, he is alive.

Richard

Nay, he is dead, and slain by Edward’s hands.

Anne

In thy foul throat thou liest. Queen Margaret saw Thy

murd’rous falchion smoking in his blood.

Richard

I was provokèd by her sland’rous tongue. Anne

Thou wast provokèd by thy bloody mind, That never

dream’st on aught but butcheries. Didst thou not kill this

king?

Richard) I grant you.

Anne

Dost grant me, hedgehog?

O, he was gentle, mild, and virtuous.

Richard

The better for the King of heaven that hath him. Anne

He is in heaven, where thou shalt never come. And thou

unfit for any place but hell.

Richard

Yes, one place else, if you will hear me name it.

Anne

Some dungeon.

Richard

Your bedchamber.

Your beauty was the cause of that effect— Your beauty,

that did haunt me in my sleep To undertake the death of

all the world,

So I might live one hour in your sweet bosom.

Anne

Black night o’ershade thy day, and death thy life. It is

a quarrel just and reasonable

To be revenged on him that killed my husband.

Richard

He that bereft thee, lady, of thy husband Did it to help

thee to a better husband.

Anne

Where is he?

Richard Here.

Anne spits at richard..

Why dost thou spit at me? Anne

Would it were mortal poison for thy sake.

Out of my sight! Thou dost infect mine eyes.

Richard

Thine eyes, sweet lady, have infected mine.

Thy beauty hath, and made them blind with weeping.

Lo, here I lend thee this sharp-pointed sword, And

humbly beg the death upon my knee.

Anne

Arise, dissembler. Though I wish thy death, I will not be

thy executioner.

Richard

Then bid me kill myself, and I will do it.

Vouchsafe to wear this ring.

Anne

To take is not to give.

. Richard

Look how my ring encompasseth thy finger;

Even so thy breast encloseth my poor heart.

And if thy poor devoted servant may But beg one favor

at thy gracious hand,

Thou dost confirm his happiness forever.

Anne

What is it?

Richard

After I have solemnly interred And wet his grave with

my repentant tears, I will with all expedient duty see

you.

Grant me this boon.

Anne

With all my heart, and much it joys me too To see you

are become so penitent.— Farewell.

Richard

Was ever woman in this humor wooed?

Was ever woman in this humor won?

I’ll have her, but I will not keep her long.

What, I that killed her husband and his father, And I no

friends to back my suit at all But the plain devil and

dissembling looks?

Ha!

Shine out, fair sun, till I have bought a glass, That I may

see my shadow as I pass.

Scene 3. (act i, Scene iii.)

Richard

They do me wrong, and I will not endure it! Who is it

that complains unto the King That I, forsooth, am stern

and love them not? I must be held a rancorous enemy.

Queen Elizabeth Come, come, we know your meaning, brother

Gloucester.

You envy my advancement, and my friends’.

Richard Our brother is imprisoned by your means, Myself

disgraced, and the nobility Held in contempt.

Queen Elizabeth I never did incense his Majesty Against the

Duke of Clarence.

My lord, you do me shameful injury Falsely to draw me

in these vile suspects.

Small joy have I in being England’s queen.

Queen Margaret Thy honor, state, and seat is due to me.

. Richard

’Tis time to speak, my pains are quite forgot.

Queen Margaret) Out, devil! Thou killed’st my husband Henry

in

the Tower,

And Edward, my poor son, at Tewkesbury.

A murd’rous villain, and so still thou art.

Richard

Foul, wrinkled witch, what mak’st thou in my sight?

Wert thou not banishèd on pain of death?

Queen Margaret

I was, but I do find more pain in banishment Than death

can yield me here by my abode.

A husband and a son thou ow’st to me;

And thou a kingdom;— all of you, allegiance.

This sorrow that I have by right is yours,

And all the pleasures you usurp are mine.

Can curses pierce the clouds and enter heaven?

Why then, give way, dull clouds, to my quick curses!

Edward thy son, that now is

Prince of Wales,

For Edward our son, that was Prince of Wales,

Die in his youth by like untimely violence.

Thyself a queen,

for me that was a queen,

Outlive thy glory, like my wretched self.

Long mayst thou live to wail thy children’s death And

see another, as I see thee now,

Decked in thy rights, as thou art stalled in mine.

Long die thy happy days before thy death,

And, after many lengthened hours of grief,

Die neither mother, wife, nor England’s queen.—

Queen Elizabeth.

Have done thy charm, thou hateful, withered hag.

Queen Margaret

And leave out thee? Stay, dog, for thou shalt hear me.

No sleep close up that deadly eye of thine, Unless it be

while some tormenting dream Affrights thee with a hell

of ugly devils.

Thou elvish-marked, abortive, rooting hog,

The slave of nature and the son of hell,

Thou slander of thy heavy mother’s womb,

Thou loathèd issue of thy father’s loins,

Poor painted queen, vain flourish of my fortune, Why

strew’st thou sugar on that bottled spider, Whose deadly web

ensnareth thee about?

Fool, fool, thou whet’st a knife to kill thyself.

The day will come that thou shalt wish for me To help

thee curse this poisonous bunch-backed toad.

O Buckingham, take heed of yonder dog!

Look when he fawns,

Beware of him.

;

Sin, death, and hell have set their marks on him

Richard

What doth she say, my lord of Buckingham?

Buckingham

Nothing that I respect, my gracious lord.

Queen Margaret

What, dost thou scorn me for

my gentle counsel, And soothe

the devil that I warn thee

from?

O, but remember this another day,

When he shall split thy very heart with sorrow.

Buckingham

My hair doth stand an end to hear her curses.

Richard

The secret mischiefs that I set abroach

I lay unto the grievous charge of others.

And thus I clothe my naked villainy

With odd old ends stol’n forth of Holy Writ,

And seem a saint when most I play the devil

Scene 4. (act iV, Scene ii.)

Narrator

We are now in Act 4. A lot has happened since Act

1. Richard has caused the murder of his brother

Clarence. (Note to Richard: nobody likes a bully.)

Somehow, Richard manages to become king. But he is

not happy yet! So he asks his ally Buckingham to murder

Elizabeth’s sons, the two young princes. Richard is on a

roll!

Richard

Cousin of Buckingham.

Buckingham

My gracious sovereign.

Richard

Give me thy hand.

Ah, Buckingham, now do I play the touch, To try if thou

be current gold indeed:

Young Edward lives; think now what I would speak.

Buckingham

Say on, my loving lord.

Richard

Why, Buckingham, I say I would be king.

Buckingham

Why so you are, my thrice-renownèd lord.

Richard

Ha! Am I king? ’Tis so—but Edward lives.

Buckingham

True, noble prince.

Richard

Shall I be plain? I wish the bastards dead, And I would

have it suddenly performed.

Buckingham Give me some little breath, some pause, dear

lord, Before I positively speak in this.

Richard

High-reaching Buckingham grows circumspect.— No

more shall he be the neighbor to my counsels.

Tyrrel

James Tyrrel, and your most obedient subject.

Richard

Dar’st thou resolve to kill a friend of mine?

Tyrrel

Please you. But I had rather kill two enemies.

Richard

Why then, thou hast it. Two deep enemies, Tyrrel, I

mean those bastards in the Tower..

Tyrrel

I will dispatch it straight.

Buckingham

My lord, I claim the gift, my due by promise,

For which your honor and your faith is pawned— Th’

earldom of Hereford

Which you have promisèd I shall possess.

I am not in the giving vein today.

Buckingham

And is it thus? Repays he my deep service

With such contempt? Made I him king for this? O, let me

be gone while my fearful head is on!

Scene 5. (act iV, Scene iV.)

Queen Margaret

So now prosperity begins to mellow And drop into the

rotten mouth of death. Here in these confines slyly have I

lurked To watch the waning of mine enemies. Who

comes here?

Queen Elizabeth

Ah, my poor princes! Ah, my tender babes, Hover about

me with your airy wings And hear your mother’s

lamentation.

Duchess

So many miseries have crazed my voice That my woe-wearied

tongue is still and mute.

Queen Margaret

I had an Edward till a Richard killed him;

I had a husband till a Richard killed him. Thou hadst an

Edward till a Richard killed him; Thou hadst a Richard till

a Richard killed him. From forth the kennel of thy womb

hath crept A hellhound that doth hunt us all to death—

Duchess

That foul defacer of God’s handiwork

Thy womb let loose to chase us to our graves. Earth

gapes, hell burns, fiends roar, To have him suddenly

conveyed from hence.

Cancel his bond of life, dear God I pray,

That I may live and say “The dog is dead”.

Queen Elizabeth

Thou didst usurp my place, and dost thou not Usurp the

just proportion of my sorrow? Now thy proud neck bears

half my burdened yoke, From which even here I slip my

weary head And leave the burden of it all on thee.

Farewell, York’s wife, and queen of sad mischance.

These English woes shall make me smile in France.

Richard

Who intercepts me in my expedition?

Queen Elizabeth)

Tell me, thou villain-slave, where are my children?

Duchess Art thou my son?

Richard

Madam, I have a touch of your condition, That cannot

brook the accent of reproof.

Duchess

Thou cam’st on Earth to make the Earth my hell.

A grievous burden was thy birth to me;

Therefore take with thee my most grievous curse,)

The little souls of Edward’s children.

Bloody thou art; bloody will be thy end.

Shame serves thy life and doth thy death attend.

Richard

Stay, madam. I must talk a word with you. You have a

daughter called Elizabeth, I love thy daughter.

And do intend to make her Queen of England.

Queen Elizabeth

How canst thou woo her?

That would I learn of you.

Queen Elizabeth

Shall I be tempted of the devil thus?

Richard

Ay, if the devil tempt you to do good.

Queen Elizabeth

Yet thou didst kill my children.

Richard

But in your daughter’s womb I bury them,

Where, in that nest of spicery, they will breed Selves of

themselves, to your recomforture.

Queen Elizabeth (comforted and hypnotized by this idea) Shall

I go win my daughter to thy will?

Richard

And be a happy mother by the deed.

Queen Elizabeth

I go.

Richard

Relenting fool and shallow, changing woman!

Scene 6. (act V, Scene iii.)

Narrator

Guess what happened to Richard’s only real ally

Buckingham for refusing to kill the two young

princes? You guessed it: Execution! Meanwhile,

Richmond and his army are preparing to march

against Richard. Richard tries to get some rest in his

tent, but the pesky ghosts of people he has killed

interrupt his beauty sleep. Sorry, Richard. Payback is

a bitch.

. Richard

Up with my tent!—Here will I lie tonight. But where

tomorrow?

.

Ghost of Edward

Let me sit heavy on thy soul tomorrow. Think how thou

stabbed’st me in my prime of youth Despair therefore,

and die!

Despair therefore, and die!

Ghost oF Henry VI

When I was mortal, my anointed body By thee was

punchèd full of deadly holes.

Think on the Tower and me. Despair and die!

Despair and die!

Ghost of Anne

Richard, thy wife, that wretched Anne thy wife, That

never slept a quiet hour with thee, Now fills thy sleep

with perturbations. Tomorrow, in the battle, think on me,

And fall thy edgeless sword. Despair and die!

Despair and die!

Ghost of Buckingham

The first was I that helped thee to the crown; The last

was I that felt thy tyranny. O, in the battle think on

Buckingham, And die in terror of thy guiltiness.

And die in terror of thy guiltiness!

Ghosts of Princes (to Richard)

Dream on thy cousins smothered in the Tower. Let us be

lead within thy bosom, Richard,

And weigh thee down to ruin, shame, and death.

Thy nephews’ souls bid thee despair and die.

Despair and

Die!

. Richard

Give me another horse! Bind up my wounds!

Have mercy, Jesu!—

Soft, I did but dream.

O coward conscience, how dost thou afflict me! What

do I fear? Myself? There’s none else by.

My conscience hath a thousand several tongues, And

every tongue brings in a several tale,

And every tale condemns me for a villain. I shall

despair. There is no creature loves me, And if I die no

soul will pity me.

Scene 7. (act V, Scenes 4 and 5)

Richard

A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!

[Richmond takes his sword and, in slow motion, stab the

terrified Richard and kills him].

Richmond

God and your arms be praised, victorious friends!

The day is ours; the bloody dog is dead.

“The bloody dog is dead!”

Stanley

Courageous Richmond

Wear it, enjoy it, and make much of it.

Richmond

England hath long been mad and scarred herself:

The brother blindly shed the brother’s blood;

The father rashly slaughtered his own son;

The son, compelled, been butcher to the sire.

O, now let Richmond and Elizabeth,

The true succeeders of each royal house,

By God’s fair ordinance conjoin together,

All

Now civil wounds are stopped, peace lives again.

That she may long live here, God say amen.

ALL hold hands and take a bow!

Hey all! Great job on Let's Make a Scene: As You Like It!

I loved every minute of it.

Here is the recording of the Zoom

Our next Le'ts Make a Scene will be Thursday December 28th at 7:30 EST

(I know I said it would be Wednesday but that didnt' work!)

We will be doing Richard III: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

"Now is the Winter of our discontent..."

Here is the PDF of As You Like It: The 30-Minute Shakespeare!

Enjoy and see you later in the month!

Have a great Holiday season,

Nick

*****

Greetings!

Here is the script L:et;s Make a Scene: As You Like It!

You can print out or read it on a tablet etc.

Tuesday, November 28th, 2023 7:30 to 8:30 PM EST

Word doc: Click the tiny blue link below the text box

PDF: (Likewise, click the tiny blue link below)

(We will also paste the script into the chat, so you will have an opportunity to participate whether or not you download any of these scripts.)

Zoom link for Let's Make a Scene:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/87118736788?pwd=UjArT043U3pqbFJoWFZYbi82dHArZz09

Here is the Facebook event link:

And here is the script pasted:

We look forward to seeing you Tuesday Nov 28 at 7:30 EST!

CAST of Characters:

DUKE SENIOR: Living in banishment

DUKE FREDERICK: Duke Senior’s brother, and usurper of

his dominions

ROSALIND: Daughter to the banished Duke Senior

CELIA: Rosalind’s cousin, daughter to Duke Frederick

AMIENS

JAQUES/  Lords attending the banished Duke

OLIVER

ORLANDO  /Sons of Sir Rowland de Boys

TOUCHSTONE: A clown

CORIN: A shepherd

SILVIUS: A young shepherd in love

AUDREY: A goatkeeper

PHEBE: A shepherdess

HYMEN: Goddess of Marriage

 

Scene 1. (Act I, Scene III)

A room in Duke Frederick’s palace.

NARRATOR 

Our play begins in the court of the hateful Duke Frederick, who has banished his brother, the former Duke Senior, to the forest of Arden, and now banishes his niece Rosalind as well. Rosalind and her cousin, Duke Frederick’s daughter Celia, devise a plan to escape to the forest together. 

CELIA

Why, cousin Rosalind! Is it

possible, on such a sudden, you should fall into so

strong a liking with old Sir Rowland's youngest son?

ROSALIND

The duke my father loved his father dearly.

CELIA

Doth it therefore ensue that you should love his son

dearly?  

ROSALIND

Let me love him for that, and do you love him

because I do. Look, here comes the duke.

CELIA

With his eyes full of anger.

DUKE FREDERICK

Mistress, dispatch you with your safest haste

And get you from our court.

ROSALIND

Me, uncle?

DUKE FREDERICK

You, cousin

Within these ten days if that thou be'st found          

So near our public court as twenty miles,

Thou diest for it.

ROSALIND

I do beseech your grace,

Let me the knowledge of my fault bear with me.

DUKE FREDERICK

Thou art thy father's daughter; there's enough

CELIA

If she be a traitor, why so am I.

Pronounce that sentence then on me, my liege:

I cannot live out of her company.

DUKE FREDERICK (to Celia)

You are a fool. (to Rosalind)  You, niece, if you outstay the time, upon mine honor,

And in the greatness of my word, you die.

CELIA

O my poor Rosalind, whither wilt thou go?

Wilt thou change fathers?  I will give thee mine.

Let my father seek another heir.

Therefore devise with me how we may fly,

I'll go along with thee.

ROSALIND

Why, whither shall we go?

CELIA 

To seek my uncle in the forest of Arden.

ROSALIND 

Alas, what danger will it be to us,

Maids as we are, to travel forth so far!

Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.

Were it not better,

That I did suit me all points like a man?

We'll have a swashing and a martial outside,

As many other mannish cowards have

That do outface it with their semblances.

CELIA

What shall I call thee when thou art a man? 

ROSALIND  

I'll have no worse a name than Jove's own page;

And therefore look you call me Ganymede.

But what will you be call'd?

CELIA  

Something that hath a reference to my state

No longer Celia, but Aliena. 

ROSALIND  

But, cousin, what if we assay'd to steal

The clownish fool out of your father's court?

Would he not be a comfort to our travel?

CELIA 

He'll go along o'er the wide world with me.

Leave me alone to woo him. Let's away.    

 

Scene 2. (Act II, Scene I)[LG1]

The Forest of Arden.

NARRATOR from 

In the Forest of Arden, Duke Senior and his exiled Lords make the best of their life in the woods, 

where they meet Orlando, who himself has been cast out by his older brother Oliver. 

DUKE SENIOR

Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,

Are not these woods

More free from peril than the envious court?

Sweet are the uses of adversity,

Which finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,

Sermons in stones, and good in every thing. 

AMIENS 

Happy is your grace,

That can translate the stubbornness of fortune

Into so quiet and so sweet a style. 

DUKE SENIOR

Why, how now, monsieur Jaques! What, you look merrily!

JAQUES

A fool, a fool!  I met a fool i' the forest,

A motley fool; 

a miserable world!

O that I were a fool!

I must have liberty as the wind,

To blow on whom I please; 

for so fools have;

But who comes here? 

ORLANDO.

Forbear, and eat no more.

JAQUES 

Why, I have eat none yet. 

DUKE SENIOR

What would you have?  

ORLANDO  

I almost die for food; and let me have it.

DUKE SENIOR  

Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.

ORLANDO

Speak you so gently?  )

Pardon me, I pray you:

I thought that all things had been savage here;       

If ever you have look'd on better days,

If ever from your eyelids wiped a tear

Let gentleness my strong enforcement be:

In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword. 

DUKE SENIOR

True is it that we have seen better days.

ORLANDO

Then but forbear your food a little while,

Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn.

DUKE SENIOR (to Jaques)

Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:

This wide and universal theatre

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

Wherein we play in.

JAQUES 

All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players: 

They have their exits and their entrances;  

And one man in his time plays many parts,

Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion,

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. 

DUKE SENIOR 

Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.

SONG [sung as they exit]

Blow, blow, thou winter wind.

Thou art not so unkind

As man's ingratitude;

Thy tooth is not so keen,

Because thou art not seen,

Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho! Sing, heigh-ho! Unto the green holly:

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:   

Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

Heigh-ho! 

 

Scene 3 (Act III, Scene II)

NARRATOR 

Orlando hangs love notes for Rosalind in the forest. Rosalind, as Ganymede, and Celia, as Aliena,[LG2] discover the love notes and meet the lovestruck Orlando.

.

[ORLANDO hangs a piece of paper on tree.]

ORLANDO

Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love:

O Rosalind! These trees shall be my books

Run, run, Orlando; carve on every tree

The fair, the chaste and unexpressive she. 

[Enter ROSALIND with a paper, reading].

ROSALIND

From the east to western Ind,

No jewel is like Rosalind.

Let no fair be kept in mind

But the fair of Rosalind.

TOUCHSTONE 

If a hart do lack a hind,

Let him seek out Rosalind.

Sweetest nut hath sourest rind,

Such a nut is Rosalind.   

He that sweetest rose will find

Must find love's prick and Rosalind. 

ROSALIND

Peace, you dull fool! Here comes my sister, reading: stand aside.

Enter Celia from stage right, reading.

CELIA

Nature presently distilled

Helen’s cheek, but not her heart,

Cleopatra’s majesty,

Atalanta’s better part,

Sad Lucretia’s modesty.

Rosalind of many parts

Of many faces, eyes and hearts,    

Heaven would that she these gifts should have,

And I to live and die her slave.

[to Corin and Touchstone]

How now! Back, friends! Shepherd, go off a little.

Go with him, sirrah.

TOUCHSTONE

Come, shepherd, let us make an honorable retreat.

CELIA

Dids’t thou hear without wondering how thy

name should be hanged and carved upon these trees?

Trow you who hath done this? 

ROSALIND

I prithee now 

tell me who it is.

CELIA

O wonderful, wonderful, and most wonderful

wonderful! And yet again wonderful, and after that,  

out of all hooping!

ROSALIND

I prithee take the cork out of thy mouth, that I may drink thy tidings.

CELIA

So you may put a man in your belly. 

It is young Orlando.

ROSALIND

Orlando?

CELIA

Orlando. 

ROSALIND

Alas the day! What shall I do with my doublet and

hose? What did he when thou sawest him? What said

he? How looked he? Did he ask for me? Where remains he?

and when shalt thou see   

him again? Answer me in one word.

CELIA

You must borrow me Gargantua’s mouth first—

ROSALIND

But doth he know that I am in this forest and in

man's apparel? Sweet, say on.

CELIA

I found him under a tree like a dropped acorn.

Soft! Comes he not here?

ROSALIND

'Tis he: slink by, and note him.

[Aside to CELIA] I will speak to him, like a saucy  

lackey and under that habit play the knave with him.

Enter ORLANDO.

ROSALIND [She speaks in a low, mannish tone.]

ROSALIND

Do you hear, forester?

ORLANDO

Very well: what would you?

ROSALIND

There is a man haunts the forest, that

abuses our young plants with carving “Rosalind” on   

their barks; if I could meet that fancy-monger I would

give him some good counsel, for he seems to have the

quotidian of love upon him.

ORLANDO

I am he that is so love-shaked: I pray you tell me

your remedy.

ROSALIND

Love is merely a madness, 

Yet I profess curing it by counsel.   

ORLANDO

Did you ever cure any so?

ROSALIND

Yes, one, and in this manner. He was to imagine me

his love, his mistress; and I set him every day to

woo me, and thus I cured him. 

ORLANDO 

I would not be cured, youth.   

ROSALIND 

I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind

and come every day to my cote and woo me. 

ORLANDO 

With all my heart, good youth.

ROSALIND

Nay you must call me Rosalind. Come, sister, will

you go?    

.

            

Scene 4 (Act III, Scene III)[LG3][LG4]

NARRATOR

Touchstone has a strong attraction to the simple goatherder Audrey, who does not seem to understand his witticisms very well.

TOUCHSTONE

Come apace, good Audrey. I will fetch up your goats, Audrey. 

And, how now, Audrey. Am I the man yet? Doth my simple feature content you? 

AUDREY 

Your features, Lord warrant us!

What features?

TOUCHSTONE)

I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths. 

Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical.

AUDREY

I do not know what “poetical” is. Is it honest in deed and word? Is it a true thing?

TOUCHSTONE 

No, truly, for the truest poetry is the most feigning, and lovers are given to poetry

AUDREY

Would you not have me honest?

TOUCHSTONE

Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut were to put good meat into an unclean dish

AUDREY

I am not a slut, although I thank the gods I am foul (thinks she is flattering herself, not knowing the meaning of the words she speaks

TOUCHSTONE

Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness; sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I will marry thee. 

AUDREY

Well, the gods give us joy

TOUCHSTONE

Come, sweet Audrey. We must be married, or we must live in bawdry. 

 

Scene 5 (Act III, Scene V)[LG5]

Another part of the forest.

NARRATOR 

Silvius, a lovestruck shepherd, vainly woos the scornful Phebe, who falls for Rosalind (as Ganymede)[LG6]. Nothing is simple in love!

SILVIUS

Sweet Phebe, do not scorn me

If ever you meet in some fresh cheek

the power of fancy,

Then shall you know the wounds invisible   

That love's keen arrows make.

PHEBE 

But till that time

Come not thou near me: and when that time comes,

Afflict me with thy mocks, pity me not;

As till that time I shall not pity thee.

ROSALIND)

And why, I pray you? What though you have no beauty,--

Must you be therefore proud and pitiless? 

Why, what means this? Why do you look on me?[(to Celia] I think she means to tangle my eyes too! 

No, faith, proud mistress, hope not after it. 

[to Silvius] You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her,

Like foggy south puffing with wind and rain?

'tis such fools as you

That makes the world full of ill-favor'd children:

[to Phebe] Mistress, sell when you can: you are not for all markets:    

Cry the man mercy; love him; take his offer:

Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer.

So take her to thee, shepherd: fare you well

PHEBE

Sweet youth, I pray you, chide a year together:

I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.

ROSALIND [to Phebe]

He's fallen in love with your foulness 

[to Celia]and she'll fall in love with my anger. I'll sauce her

with bitter words. [to Phebe] Why look you so upon me?    

I pray you, do not fall in love with me,

For I am falser than vows made in wine:

Besides, I like you not. 

[to Silvius]Shepherd, ply her hard

PHEBE 

“Who ever loved that loved not at first sight?”

SILVIUS 

Sweet Phebe,—

PHEBE)

Ha, what say'st thou, Silvius?

SILVIUS 

I would have you.

PHEBE 

Silvius, the time was that I hated thee,

But since that thou canst talk of love so well,

Thy company, I will endure. 

SILVIUS

Loose now and then

A scatter'd smile, and that I'll live upon.

PHEBE 

Know'st now the youth that spoke to me erewhile?

SILVIUS

Not very well, but I have met him oft;

PHEBE

Think not I love him, though I ask for him:

There was a pretty redness in his lip,

The best thing in him is his complexion.

I love him not nor hate him not; (angering a bit)

and yet I have more cause to hate him than to love him:

For what had he to do to chide at me?

I will be bitter with him and passing short.

Go with me, Silvius. 

SILVIUS Phebe, with all my heart!

.

 

Scene 6 (Act V, Scene II)[LG7]

The forest.

NARRATOR 

Oliver, having reconciled with his brother Orlando, tells of his love for Aliena. Meanwhile, Rosalind assures Orlando, Silvius, and Phebe that she can solve all of their love woes, and that they will all be married the next day.

ORLANDO

Is't possible that on so little acquaintance you

should like her? That but seeing you should love

her? And loving woo? And, wooing, she should

grant? And will you persever to enjoy her?

OLIVER

Neither call the giddiness of it in question, my sudden

wooing, nor her sudden consenting; 

I love Aliena; 

consent with both that we may enjoy each other: it

shall be to your good; for my father's house and all  

the revenue that was old Sir Rowland's will I

estate upon you, and here live and die a shepherd. 

ORLANDO 

You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow:

 Go you and prepare Aliena. 

ROSALIND 

O, my dear Orlando. 

Your brother and my sister no sooner

met but they looked, no sooner looked but they

they made a pair of stairs

to marriage. They are in the very wrath of love

and they will together;

clubs cannot part them.   

ORLANDO

They shall be married to-morrow, Ganymede. [turns toward her]

But, O, how bitter a thing it

is to look into happiness through another man's

eyes!

ROSALIND

Why then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for

Rosalind? 

ORLANDO

I can live no longer by thinking.

ROSALIND 

Believe then, if

you please, that I can do strange things: I have,

since I was three year old, conversed with a

magician. If you do love Rosalind so near the heart

as your gesture cries it out, when your brother

marries Aliena, shall you marry her.

Look, here comes a lover of mine and a lover of hers.

PHEBE [to Rosalind]

Youth, you have done me much ungentleness.

ROSALIND

You are there followed by a faithful shepherd;

Look upon him, love him; he worships you. 

PHEBE

Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of sighs and tears;

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE

And I for Ganymede. 

ORLANDO

And I for Rosalind.

ROSALIND

And I for no woman. 

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of faith and service;

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE

And I for Ganymede.

ORLANDO

And I for Rosalind.  

ROSALIND

And I for no woman.

SILVIUS

It is to be all made of fantasy,

All made of passion and all made of wishes,

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE

And so am I for Ganymede.

ORLANDO

And so am I for Rosalind.

ROSALIND

And so am I for no woman.    

Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling

of Irish wolves against the moon.

[to SILVIUS]

I will help you, if I can:

[to PHEBE]

I would love you, if I could. To-morrow meet me all

together.  

[to PHEBE]

I will marry you, if ever I marry woman, and I'll be

married to-morrow:

[to ORLANDO, passionately]

I will satisfy you, if ever I satisfied man, and you

shall be married to-morrow:

[to SILVIUS]

I will content you, if what pleases you contents

you, and you shall be married to-morrow.

 

 

Scene 7. (Act V, Scene IV)[LG8]

The forest.

NARRATOR

The Goddess of Marriage, Hymen, arrives to bring the lovers together and the comedy to a merry ending..

DUKE SENIOR

Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy

Can do all this that he hath promised?

ORLANDO

I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not;

As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.

HYMEN 

With great importance and Godliness

Then is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even

Atone together.

Good duke, receive thy daughter

Hymen from heaven brought her,

That thou mightst join her hand with his    

Whose heart within his bosom is.

ROSALIND

[to ORLANDO]

To you I give myself, for I am yours.

DUKE SENIOR

If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

ORLANDO

If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

PHEBE [to Rosalind]

If sight and shape be true,

Why then, my love adieu!

HYMEN

Peace, ho! I bar confusion:

'Tis I must make conclusion

Of these most strange events:

Here's eight that must take hands

To join in Hymen's bands,

If truth holds true contents.

Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,

Feed yourselves with questioning;

That reason wonder may diminish,

How thus we met, and these things finish.

DUKE SENIOR

Proceed, proceed: we will begin these rites,

As we do trust they'll end, in true delights.

 

[Readers each read one line of the song]

It was a lover and his lass

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny-no,

That o’er the green cornfield did pass

In springtime, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring.

And therefore take the present time,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey-nonny no,

For love is crowned with the prime,

In springtime, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring.

THE END!

 

 

 

Be bloody bold and resolute!

Join us for Let's Make a Scene: The Scottish Play!

We will round-robin read Macbeth: The 30-Minute Shakespeare, which means you can be a ghost, a witch, or someone "from his mother's womb untimely ripped!"  Good clean fun in late October.

Here is the script as a text document:

Here it is as a Word doc: (click the little blue docx link at the bottom of the block of text)

Here it is as a PDF: (Click the little blue PDF link at the bottom of the block of text)

Here is the Zoom Link:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85839762850?pwd=L3JtdTlCR0VUdEg0Qiszc29Gek1udz09

Here is the Facebook invitation link:

And here is the script pasted:

See you Monday October 23rd, 7:30 EST, the witching hour!

Characters in the play

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting  

of Macbeth.

First Witch

Second Witch

Third Witch

Macbeth A Scottish general, Thane of Glamis

Banquo A general, prophesied by witches to inherit throne ross: A Scottish nobleman 

Duncan: King of Scotland 

Malcolm: son of King Duncan 

Lady Macbeth: Macbeth’s ambitious wife

Murderer

Lennox A Scottish nobleman

Gentlewoman Doctor

Macduff A Scottish nobleman, hostile to Macbeth’s kingship

Narrators

 scene 1. (act I, scenes 1 and 2)

A desert place. 

First Witch

When shall we three meet again In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Second Witch

When the hurlyburly’s done, 

When the battle’s lost and won.

Third Witch

That will be ere the set of sun.

all  

Fair is foul, and foul is fair: 

Hover through the fog and filthy air.

Third Witch

A drum, a drum! 

Macbeth doth come.

all

The weird sisters, hand in hand, 

Posters of the sea and land, Thus do go about, about: 

Peace! the charm’s wound up.

Macbeth

So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

Banquo

What are these 

So wither’d and so wild in their attire, That look not like the inhabitants o’ the earth, And yet are on’t? 

Macbeth

Speak, if you can: what are you?

First Witch 

All hail, Macbeth! hail to thee, thane of Glamis!

Second Witch

All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, thane of Cawdor!

Third Witch

All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter! [to BANQUO] Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none: 

So all hail, Macbeth and Banquo!

First Witch

Banquo and Macbeth, all hail!

Macbeth 

Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more: 

I know I am thane of Glamis; 

But how of Cawdor? the thane of Cawdor lives, 

and to be king 

Stands not within the prospect of belief, Speak, I charge you.

[Exit Witches, vanishing in all directions]

Banquo Whither are they vanish’d?

Macbeth

Into the air; As breath into the wind.  

[to Banquo] Your children shall be kings.

Banquo

You shall be king.

Macbeth

And thane of Cawdor too: went it not so?

Banquo 

Who’s here?

Ross The king hath happily received, Macbeth, 

The news of thy success; He bade me, from him, call thee thane of Cawdor:

Banquo

What, can the devil speak true?

Macbeth

[aside] I am thane of Cawdor: 

If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me, Without my stir. 

[to all] Let us toward the king. 

Think upon what hath chanced, and, at more time, The interim having weigh’d it, let us speak Our free hearts each to other.

Banquo

Very gladly.

Macbeth

Till then, enough. Come, friends.

 Scene 2. (act i, Scene iV)

The palace. Narrator

King Duncan thanks Macbeth and Banquo for their heroics, and announces his intention to have his son Malcolm succeed him as King. Macbeth is convinced that he can only become King by killing King Duncan.

Duncan

O worthiest cousin! 

More is thy due than more than all can pay.

Macbeth 

The service and the loyalty I owe, 

In doing it, pays itself. Your highness’ part 

Is to receive our duties; and our duties Are to your throne and children by doing every thing 

Safe toward your love and honour.

Duncan 

Welcome hither: 

I have begun to plant thee, and will labour 

To make thee full of growing. Noble Banquo, That hast no less deserved, let me enfold thee And hold thee to my heart.

Banquo 

There if I grow, 

The harvest is your own.

Duncan 

We will establish our estate upon 

Our eldest, Malcolm, whom we name hereafter 

The Prince of Cumberland; 

Macbeth

[aside] The Prince of Cumberland! that is a step On which I must fall down, or else o’erleap, For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires; 

Let not light see my black and deep desires: The eye wink at the hand; yet let that be, 

Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.

.

Duncan [to Banquo]

True, worthy Banquo; he is full so valiant, Let’s after him.

Scene 3. act i, Scene V, act ii, Scenes 1 and 2

Inverness, Macbeth’s castle. 

Narrator

Lady Macbeth reads her husband’s letter about his meeting with the Witches. Macbeth arrives, and she tells him that she will take charge of the preparations for King Duncan’s murder.

Lady Macbeth [reading]

“Came missives from the king, who all-hailed me ‘Thane of Cawdor’; by which title, before, these weird sisters saluted me, and referred me to the coming on of time, with ‘Hail, king that shalt be!’ This have I thought good to deliver thee, my dearest partner of greatness.” 

(speaking now, and standing) Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be 

What thou art promised: yet do I fear thy nature; 

It is too full o’ the milk of human kindness 

Hie thee hither, 

That I may pour my spirits in thine ear; 

And chastise with the valour of my tongue 

All that impedes thee from the golden round,  ) Which fate and metaphysical aid doth seem To have thee crown’d withal. 

The king comes here to-night. 

He brings great news. 

The raven himself is hoarse 

That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan Under my battlements. 

 Come, you spirits 

That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, 

And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full 

Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood; 

Stop up the access and passage to remorse, Come, thick night, 

And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, 

That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, 

Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, To cry “Hold, hold!”

[To Macbeth]

Great Glamis! worthy Cawdor! 

Thy letters have transported me beyond This ignorant present, and I feel now The future in the instant.

Macbeth 

My dearest love, 

Duncan comes here to-night.

Lady Macbeth

And when goes hence?

Macbeth

To-morrow, as he purposes.

Lady Macbeth

O, never 

Shall sun that morrow see! 

Your face, my thane, is as a book where men May read strange matters.  

 Look like the 

innocent flower, 

But be the serpent under’t. He that’s coming 

Must be provided for: and you shall put 

This night’s great business into my dispatch; 

Which shall to all our nights and days to come Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.

Macbeth

We will speak further.

Lady Macbeth 

Only look up clear; 

To alter favour ever is to fear: 

Leave all the rest to me.

Macbeth

Is this a dagger which I see before me, 

The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.  (tries to clutch dagger, but it has no substance) I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. 

Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible 

To feeling as to sight? or art thou but 

A dagger of the mind, a false creation, 

Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain? 

I see thee yet, in form as palpable 

As this which now I draw. 

Thou marshall’st me the way that I was going; And such an instrument I was to use. 

Thou sure and firm-set earth, 

Hear not my steps, which way they walk, for fear Thy very stones prate of my whereabout.

I go, and it is done; the bell invites me. Hear it not, Duncan; for it is a knell 

That summons thee to heaven or to hell.

Lady Macbeth

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; What hath quench’d them hath given me fire. 

I have drugg’d their possets, 

That death and nature do contend about them, Whether they live or die.

Hark! Peace! 

It was the owl that shriek’d,

[Enter Macbeth His hands are bloody and he holds two bloody daggers.]

My husband!

Macbeth

I have done the deed. Didst thou not hear a noise?

Lady MacbethI heard the owl scream and the crickets cry.

Macbeth This is a sorry sight.

Lady Macbeth A foolish thought, to say a sorry sight.

Macbeth 

Methought I heard a voice cry “Sleep no more! 

Macbeth does murder sleep”—the innocent sleep, 

Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleeve of care, “Macbeth shall sleep no more.”

Lady Macbeth

Who was it that thus cried? Why, worthy thane, 

You do unbend your noble strength, to think 

So brainsickly of things. 

Why did you bring these daggers from the place? 

They must lie there: go carry them; and smear 

The sleepy grooms with blood. 

Macbeth  I’ll go no more: 

I am afraid to think what I have done; Look on’t again I dare not.

Lady Macbeth

Infirm of purpose!

Give me the daggers: the sleeping and the dead 

Are but as pictures: ’tis the eye of childhood 

That fears a painted devil. If he do bleed, I’ll gild the faces of the grooms withal; For it must seem their guilt.

Macbeth

Whence is that knocking? 

How is’t with me, when every noise appals me? 

What hands are here? ha! they pluck out mine eyes. Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood Clean from my hand? 

Lady Macbeth

My hands are of your colour; but I shame To wear a heart so white.

Macbeth

To know my deed, ’twere best not know myself.

Wake Duncan with thy knocking! I would thou couldst!

Scene 4. (act iii, Scene iV)

Hall in the palace. 

Narrator

Having ordered Banquo murdered, Macbeth discovers an unexpected guest at his feast: Banquo’s ghost!

Macbeth

Sit down and hearty welcome. 

Ross

Thanks to your majesty.

Macbeth ( to Murderer) There’s blood on thy face.

Murderer

’Tis Banquo’s then.

Macbeth

’Tis better thee without than he within. 

Is he dispatch’d?

Murderer

My lord, his throat is cut.

MacbethAnd Fleance?

Murderer

Most royal sir, 

Fleance is ’scaped.

Macbeth

Now I am, confined, in saucy doubts and fears. But Banquo’s safe?

Murderer

Ay, my good lord: safe in a ditch he bides, With twenty trenched gashes on his head.

Macbeth

Thanks for that: Get thee gone: 

Lady Macbeth 

My royal lord, 

You do not give the cheer;

Macbeth 

Now, good digestion  And health! All at table toast and give a cheer. lennox 

May’t please your highness sit.

[Enter the Ghost of Banquo]

Macbeth

The table’s full.

Lennoz

Here is a place reserved, sir.

Macbeth

Where?

Lennox 

Here, my good lord. What is’t that moves your highness?

Macbeth

Which of you have done this? 

Ross 

What, my good lord?

Macbeth

Thou canst not say I did it: Never shake Thy gory locks at me. ross 

Gentlemen, rise: his highness is not well.

Lady Macbeth

Sit, worthy friends: my lord is often thus, And hath been from his youth: pray you, keep seat; [to Macbeth, aside] Are you a man?

Macbeth

Ay, and a bold one, that dare look on that Which might appal the devil.

Lady Macbeth 

O proper stuff! 

This is the very painting of your fear: This is the air-drawn dagger which, you said, Led you to Duncan.  

Why do you make such faces? When all’s done, You look but on a stool.

Macbeth  

Behold! look! lo!

Lady Macbeth 

My worthy lord, 

Your noble friends do lack you.

Macbeth

Do not muse at me, my most worthy friends, 

I have a strange infirmity, which is nothing 

To those that know me. Come, love and health to all; 

Then I’ll sit down. I drink to our dear friend 

Banquo, whom we miss;

Macbeth

Quit my sight! let the earth hide thee! 

Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold; 

Thou hast no speculation in those eyes 

Which thou dost glare with! Hence, horrible shadow! 

Unreal mockery, hence!

Why, so: being gone, I am a man again. 

 Pray you, sit still.

Lady Macbeth

You have displaced the mirth With most admired disorder. ross 

What sights, my lord?

Lady Macbeth

I pray you, speak not; he grows worse and worse; Go at once. 

Lennox

Good night; and better health Attend his majesty!

Lady Macbeth

A kind good night to all!

Macbeth

It will have blood; they say, blood will have blood: Stones have been known to move and trees to speak; I will, to the weird sisters: 

More shall they speak; for now I am bent to know, By the worst means, the worst. For mine own good, I am in blood. 

Strange things I have in head, that will to hand; Which must be acted ere they may be scann’d.

Lady Macbeth

You lack the season of all natures, sleep.

Macbeth

Come, we’ll to sleep. 

We are yet but young in deed.

Scene 5. (act iV, Scene i)

A cavern.

Narrator

The Three Witches conjure around the cauldron, making predictions that embolden Macbeth, who decides to kill Macduff’s family.

First Witch

Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.

Second Withc

Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.

Third Witch

Harpier cries ’Tis time, ’tis time.

First Witch

Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw. Swelter’d venom sleeping got, 

Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.

All

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch

Fillet of a fenny snake, 

In the cauldron boil and bake; 

Eye of newt and toe of frog, 

Wool of bat and tongue of dog, For a charm of powerful trouble, 

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

All

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Third Witch

Liver of blaspheming Jew, 

Gall of goat, and slips of yew 

Finger of birth-strangled babe Ditch-deliver’d by a drab, Make the gruel thick and slab: 

Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron, 

For the ingredients of our cauldron.

All

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch

Cool it with a baboon’s blood, 

Then the charm is firm and good. By the pricking of my thumbs, 

Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, 

Whoever knocks! 

Macbeth

How now, you secret, black, and midnight hags! 

What is’t you do?

All

A deed without a name.

Macbeth

I conjure you, by that which you profess, 

Howe’er you come to know it, answer me:

First Witch

Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! beware Macduff; Beware the thane of Fife. 

Second Witch

Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth!

Macbeth

Had I three ears, I’ld hear thee.

Second Witch

Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn 

The power of man, for none of woman born Shall harm Macbeth.

Macbeth

Then live, Macduff: what need I fear of thee? But yet I’ll make assurance double sure, thou shalt not live.

Third Witch 

Macbeth shall never vanquish’d be until Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill Shall come against him.

Macbeth

That will never be 

Who can impress the forest, bid the tree Unfix his earth-bound root? Sweet bodements! Good!

Macbeth

Where are they? Gone?

[Enter Lennox]

What’s your grace’s will?

MacBeTH 

Saw you the weird sisters?

Lennox

No, my lord. 

My lord, Macduff is fled to England.

Macbeth

The castle of Macduff I will surprise; 

Seize upon Fife; give to the edge o’ the sword His wife, his babes, and all unfortunate souls That trace him in his line.

Scene 6. (act V, Scene i)

Dunsinane. Anteroom in the castle. 

Narrator

A gentlewoman who waits on Lady Macbeth calls on a doctor to witness Lady Macbeth’s compulsive sleepwalking behavior.

Gentlewoman

Lo you, here she comes! This is her very guise; and, upon my life, fast asleep. 

Doctor

How came she by that light?

Gentlewoman

She has light by her continually; ’tis her command.

Doctor

You see, her eyes are open.

Gentlewoman

Ay, but their sense is shut.

Doctor

What is it she does now? Look, how she rubs her hands.

Gentlewoman

It is an accustomed action with her, to seem thus washing her hands:

Lady Macbeth

Yet here’s a spot. 

Out, damned spot! out, I say!—One: two: Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him. The thane of Fife had a wife: where is she now?— What, will these hands ne’er be clean?

Doctor [to Gentlewoman]

You have known what you should not.

Gentlewoman

She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that: 

heaven knows what she has known.

Lady Macbeth

Here’s the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!

Doctor

What a sigh is there! The heart is sorely charged.

Gentlewoman 

I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whole body.

Lady Macbeth

Wash your hands,  

Banquo’s buried; 

He cannot come out on’s grave. 

To bed, to bed! there’s knocking at the gate: 

come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What’s done cannot be undone.—To bed, to bed, to bed!

Doctor

Foul whisperings are abroad: unnatural deeds Do breed unnatural troubles: infected minds 

To their deaf pillows will discharge their secrets: God, God forgive us all! Look after her; I think, but dare not speak.

Gentlewoman

Good night, good doctor.

Scene 7. (act V, Scene Viii)

Another part of the field. 

Narrator

Macbeth and Macduff fight fiercely, as the Witches’ prophecies unfold.

Macbeth

Why should I play the Roman fool, and die On mine own sword?

[Enter Macduff]

Macduff

Turn, hell-hound, turn!

They fight.

Macbeth

Thou losest labour: 

I bear a charmed life, which must not yield, To one of woman born.

Macduff 

Despair thy charm; 

And let the angel whom thou still hast served 

Tell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s womb Untimely ripp’d.

Macbeth

Accursed be that tongue that tells me so, For it hath cow’d my better part of man! 

I’ll not fight with thee.

Macduff

Then yield thee, coward, 

We’ll have thee, as our rarer monsters are, 

Painted on a pole, and underwrit, “Here may you see the tyrant.”

Macbeth

I will not yield, 

To kiss the ground before young Malcolm’s feet, 

Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane, 

And thou opposed, being of no woman born, 

Yet I will try the last. Lay on, Macduff, 

And damn’d be him that first cries, “Hold, enough!”

Malcolm 

I would the friends we miss were safe arrived. Macduff is missing,  

Here comes newer comfort.

[Re-enter MacduffF, holding Macbeth’s head in a bag.]

MacDUFF (to Malcolm) 

Hail, king! for so thou art: behold, where stands 

The usurper’s cursed head: the time is free: Hail, King of Scotland!

All

Hail, King of Scotland!

Malcolm

What’s more to do, 

Producing forth the cruel ministers 

Of this dead butcher and his fiend-like queen, 

Who, as ’tis thought, by self and violent hands 

Took off her life;  

This, we will perform in measure, time and place: So, thanks to all at once and to each one, 

Whom we invite to see us crown’d at Scone.

ALL

Out, out, brief candle! 

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player 

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage 

And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

All hold hands and take a bow!

Greetings from The 30-Minute Shakespeare!

It's time for our monthly Let's Make a Scene!

Thursday, September 9th, 2023, 7:30 to 8:30 PM EST.

Happy Summer, Folks! It's time for our monthly fun Zoom Shakespeare spectacular. We engage in a dramatic round-robin reading of Julius Caesar: The 30-Minute Shakespeare!

No experience necessary, just a desire to have some fun on a Thursday eve from the comfort of your own home with a group of fellow silly armchair thespians lookin' to throw around some high drama.

Brutus! Be Caesar! Be a mob! Be a clairvoyant soothsayer or a mistaken and misbegotten poet. Be all you can be at Let's Make a Scene!

Here is Zoom link:

Here is the Facebook Event Link

Here is the script in Word and PDF and we will also paste it into the chat, so you won't need anything!

It is sometimes easier to read on a printout or a tablet.  I have also pasted the text to the script below:

All participants will receive a FREE emailed PDF of Julius Caesar: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

Play on!

Julius Caesar: Let’s Make a Scene!

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Summer, Folks! It's time for our monthly fun Zoom Shakespeare spectacular.  We engage in a dramatic round-robin reading of "A Midsummer Night's Dream: The 30-Minute Shakespeare"!

You get to play a sprite, a fairy queen, and ass (typecasting?) a confused-by-magic-potion lover, and more, all from your own home, transported with your fellow readers to a hysterical and magical world.

Free, silly, no experience necessary! 

Here is the Zoom link:

 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84407622384?pwd=dmdTOTY5UlFwbzR3RXhHWVpybC90QT09

And here is the Word version of the script to read on tablet or phone or printout:

And here is the PDF:

See you Monday August 7th at 7:30 EST 

Play on!

Nick Newlin

The 30-Minute Shakespeare

**********''

And here is the script pasted:

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

 

SCENE 1 (ACT III, SCENE II).

 

NARRATOR  

In the woods outside of Athens, Oberon, the king of the fairies, and Puck, a hobgoblin in Oberon’s service are wreaking havoc on the love lives of our characters by anointing their eyes with love juice, sometimes with unexpected consequences!

OBERON
I wonder if Titania be awaked;
Then, what it was that next came in her eye,
Which she must dote on in extremity.-
Here comes my messenger.
            [Enter PUCK] 
How now, mad spirit!
What night-rule now about this haunted grove?

 

PUCK

My mistress with a monster is in love. 
A crew of patches, rude mechanicals,
Were met together to rehearse a play,
The shallowest thickskin of that barren sort,
An ass’s nole I fixed on his head:
So, at his sight, away his fellows fly;
When in that moment,—so it came to pass,—
Titania waked, and straightway loved an ass.

 

OBERON

This falls out better than I could devise.
But hast thou yet latch’d the Athenian’s eyes
With the love-juice, as I did bid thee do?

 

PUCK
I took him sleeping,—that is finish’d too,—
And the Athenian woman by his side;
That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.

 

[Enter HERMIA and DEMETRIUS]. 

 

OBERON

Stand close: this is the same Athenian. 

 

PUCK

This is the woman, but not this the man.

 

DEMETRIUS
O, why rebuke you him that loves you so?

 

HERMIA
For thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse.
If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep,
See me no more, whether he be dead or no.

 

DEMETRIUS
There is no following her in this fierce vein:
Here therefore for a while I will remain.
            

OBERON
What hast thou done? thou hast mistaken quite,
And laid the love-juice on some true-love’s sight:
About the wood go swifter than the wind,
And Helena of Athens look thou find:
By some illusion see thou bring her here:
I’ll charm his eyes against she do appear.

 

PUCK
I go, I go; look how I go,
Swifter than arrow from the Tartar’s bow.

 

OBERON Flower of this purple dye,
Hit with Cupid’s archery,

            Sink in apple of his eye!
When his love he doth espy,
Let her shine as gloriously
As the Venus of the sky. 

 

PUCK 
Captain of our fairy band,
Helena is here at hand;
And the youth, mistook by me,
Pleading for a lover’s fee.
Shall we their fond pageant see?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!

LYSANDER
Why should you think that I should woo in scorn?
Scorn and derision never come in tears:
Look, when I vow, I weep.

 

HELENA 
You do advance your cunning more and more.
When truth kills truth, O devilish-holy fray!
These vows are Hermia’s: will you give her o’er?

 

LYSANDER
I had no judgment when to her I swore.
Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you.

 

DEMETRIUS [awaking;]
O Helen, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!
Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow!
O, let me kiss
This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss! 
            

HELENA

O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent
To set against me for your merriment:
You both are rivals, and love Hermia;
And now both rivals, to mock Helena. 
            

LYSANDER
You are unkind, Demetrius; be not so;
For you love Hermia;- this you know I know:

 

DEMETRIUS
Lysander, keep thy Hermia; I will none:
If e’er I lov’d her, all that love is gone.

 

DEMETRIUS [to Lysander]
Look, where thy love comes; yonder is thy dear.

 

HERMIA
Lysander, found; 
Mine ear, I thank it, brought me to thy sound.
But why unkindly didst thou leave me so?

 

LYSANDER 
Why should he stay, whom love doth press to go?

 

HERMIA 
What love could press Lysander from my side?

 

LYSANDER 
Lysander’s love, that would not let him bide,- 
Fair Helena; who more engilds the night
Than all yon fiery O’s and eyes of light.
[to Hermia] Why seek’st thou me? could not this make thee know,
The hate I bear thee made me leave thee so?

 

HERMIA 
You speak not as you think: it cannot be.

 

HELENA 
Lo, she is one of this confederacy!
Now I perceive they have conjoin’d all three
To fashion this false sport in spite of me.
Injurious Hermia! most ungrateful maid!
Have you conspired, have you with these contrived
To bait me with this foul derision?

 

HERMIA 

I am amazed at your passionate words.
I scorn you not: it seems that you scorn me.

 

HELENA
Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn,
To follow me, and praise my eyes and face?
And made your other love, Demetrius—
Who even but now did spurn me with his foot—
To call me goddess, nymph, divine, and rare.

 

LYSANDER
Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse:
My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena!

 

HELENA
O excellent!

 

HERMIA [to Lysander]
Sweet, do not scorn her so.

 

LYSANDER)
Helen, I love thee; by my life, I do. 

 

DEMETRIUS 

I say I love thee more than he can do.

 

LYSANDER 
If thou say so, withdraw, and prove it too.   

.

DEMETRIUS
Quick, come!

 

HERMIA
Lysander, whereto tends all this? 

 

LYSANDER [to Hermia]
Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! vile thing, let loose,
Or I will shake thee from me like a serpent! 

 

HERMIA
Am not I Hermia? are not you Lysander?
I am as fair now as I was erewhile.
Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me:

 

LYSANDER
Ay, by my life;
And never did desire to see thee more.
Be certain, nothing truer; ‘tis no jest
That I do hate thee, and love Helena.

 

HERMIA [to Helena]
O me!— you juggler! you canker-blossom!
You thief of love! what, have you come by night
And stol’n my love’s heart from him?

 

HELENA 
Fie, fie! you counterfeit, you puppet, you!

 

HERMIA
Puppet! why, so; ay, that way goes the game.
Now I perceive that she hath made compare
Between our statures; she hath urged her height;
And are you grown so high in his esteem,
Because I am so dwarfish and so low?
How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak;
How low am I? I am not yet so low
But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes. 

 

HELENA

 I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen,
Let her not hurt me: 
You perhaps may think,
Because she is something lower than myself,
That I can match her.

 

HERMIA
Lower! hark, again.

 

HELENA
O, when she’s angry, she is keen and shrewd!
And though she be but little, she is fierce.

 

HERMIA

Little again! Let me come to her. 
            

LYSANDER

Get you gone, you dwarf;
You minimus, of hind’ring knot-grass made;
You bead, you acorn.

 

LYSANDER [to Demetrius]
Now follow, if thou darest, to try whose right,
Of thine or mine, is most in Helena.

 

DEMETRIUS
Follow! nay, I’ll go with thee, cheek by jowl.

 

HELENA
Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray;
My legs are longer though, to run away. 

 

HERMIA
I am amazed, and know not what to say.

 

OBERON
This is thy negligence. 

 

PUCK
Believe me, king of shadows, I mistook.

 

OBERON
Thou see’st these lovers seek a place to fight:
Hie therefore, Robin, overcast the night;
Then crush this herb into Lysander’s eye;
And make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.
When they next wake, all this derision
Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision.

 

PUCK 
Up and down, up and down,
I will lead them up and down:
Here comes one

LYSANDER
Where art thou, proud Demetrius? speak thou now.

 

PUCK [imitating Demetrius]
Here, villain; drawn and ready. 
Follow me, then,
To plainer ground.

 

LYSANDER 
When I come where he calls,
then he is gone 

[yawns] 

Here will I rest me. 

DEMETRIUS [not seeing Lysander]
Lysander! speak again:
Thou runaway, thou coward, art thou fled?

 

PUCK
Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not? 

 

DEMETRIUS
Thou runn’st before me, shifting every place.
Faintness constraineth me
To measure out my length on this cold bed. 
            

HELENA
O weary night, O long and tedious night,
Sleep, that sometime shuts up sorrow’s eye,
Steal me awhile from mine own company. 
            

PUCK
Yet but three? Come one more;
Two of both kinds makes up four.
Here she comes, curst and sad:-
Cupid is a knavish lad,
Thus to make poor females mad.

 

HERMIA
Never so weary, never so in woe;
I can no further crawl, no further go;
Here will I rest me till the break of day.
            

PUCK
On the ground
Sleep sound:
I’ll apply
To your eye,
Gentle lover, remedy.

            [squeezing the herb on LYSANDER’s eyelids]

 

When thou wakest,
Thou takest
True delight
In the sight
Of thy former lady’s eye

 

SCENE 2 (ACT IV, SCENE I)

 

NARRATOR 

Through magical fairie mischief, Bottom the Weaver has been transformed into an ass, and Titania, Queen of the fairies has fallen in love with him. We are still in the woods . . .

 

TITANIA)
Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed, 
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,
And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.

 

BOTTOM
Where’s Peas-blossom?

 

PEAS-BLOSSOM
Ready.

 

BOTTOM
Scratch my head, Peas-blossom.
Where’s Monsieur Cobweb?

 

COBWEB
Ready.

 

BOTTOM
Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, get your weapons in your hand, and kill me a red-hipp’d humble-bee on the top of a thistle; and, good monsieur, bring me the honey-bag.

Where’s Monsieur Mustard-Seed?

 

MUSTARD-SEED

What’s your will?

 

BOTTOM
Nothing, good monsieur, but to help Cavalery Peas-blossom to scratch.

I must to the barber’s, monsieur; for methinks I am
marvelous hairy about the face; and I am such a
tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.

 

TITANIA
What, wilt thou hear some music, my sweet love?

 

BOTTOM
I have a reasonable good ear in music: let’s have the tongs and bones. 

 

[Bottom yawns]

 

 I have an exposition of sleep come upon me.

 

TITANIA
Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.-
Fairies, be gone, and be all ways away.
O, how I love thee! how I dote on thee! 

 

 

OBERON

Welcome, good Robin. See’st thou this sweet sight?
Her dotage now I do begin to pity: I will undo
This hateful imperfection of her eyes:
And, gentle Puck, take this transformed scalp
From off the head of this Athenian swain;
That he, awaking when the other do,
May all to Athens back again repair,
And think no more of this night’s accidents,
But as the fierce vexation of a dream.
But first I will release the fairy queen.
Be as thou wast wont to be

See as thou wast wont to see:
Now, my Titania: wake you, my sweet queen.

 

TITANIA 
My Oberon! what visions have I seen!
Methought I was enamour’d of an ass.

 

OBERON 
There lies your love.

 

TITANIA)
How came these things to pass?)
O, how mine eyes do loathe his visage now! 
            

OBERON
Silence awhile.—Robin, take off this head.—
Titania, music call; and strike more dead
Than common sleep of all these five the sense.

 

TITANIA
Music, ho! music, such as charmeth sleep. 

 

PUCK
Now, when thou wakest, with thine own fool’s eyes peep. 
            

TITANIA
Come, my lord; and in our flight,
Tell me how it came this night
That I sleeping here was found
With these mortals on the ground.

 

THESEUS
We will, fair queen, up to the mountain’s top,
But, soft! what nymphs are these? 
            

EGEUS
My lord, this is my daughter here asleep
And this, Lysander; this Demetrius is;
This Helena, I wonder of their being here together.

 

THESEUS 

Wake them.

 

LYSANDER
Pardon, my lord. 
            

THESEUS
I pray you all, stand up.
I know you two are rival enemies: 
How comes this gentle concord in the world,
That hatred is so far from jealousy,
To sleep by hate, and fear no enmity?

 

LYSANDER
My lord, 
I cannot truly say how I came here;
I came with Hermia hither 

EGEUS

I beg the law, the law, upon his head.

 

DEMETRIUS
But, my good lord, I wot not by what power,—
But by some power it is,—my love to Hermia,
Melted as the snow,
And all the faith, the virtue of my heart,
The object, and the pleasure of mine eye,
Is only Helena. 
            

THESEUS
Fair lovers, you are fortunately met:
Egeus, I will overbear your will;
For in the temple, by and by, with us
These couples shall eternally be knit:
Away with us to Athens! three and three,
We’ll hold a feast in great solemnity.
Come, Hippolyta.

 

DEMETRIUS

Are you sure
That we are awake? It seems to me
That yet we sleep, we dream.- 
Let’s follow him;
And, by the way, let us recount our dreams.

 

BOTTOM [awaking]
I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream,—past the wit of man to say what dream it was: man is but an ass, if he go about to expound this dream. Methought I was (and methought I had) but man is but a patch’d fool, if he will offer to say what methought I had. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream: it shall be called Bottom’s Dream, because it hath no bottom; and I will sing it in the latter end of a play before the duke:

 

SCENE 3 (ACT V, SCENE I)

Athens. An apartment in the palace of Theseus

 

 

NARRATOR 
To complete our festive comedy, Bottom and the
“rude mechanicals” perform the merry and tragical play of Pyramus and Thisbe for Theseus and Hippolyta and our newly married lovers. The fairies bless the three marriages and all is well. But still we wonder, has this all been a dream?

 

 

THESEUS
Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth.
Come now; what masks, what dances shall we have,
What revels are in hand? Call Philostrate.

 

PHILOSTRATE 
Here, mighty Theseus.

 

THESEUS
Say, what abridgement have you for this evening?
What mask? what music?

 

PHILOSTRATE
Make choice of which your highness will see first.

 

THESEUS [reading]
“The battle with the Centaurs, to be sung
By an Athenian eunuch to the harp.”
We’ll none of that: 
That is an old device; 
 “A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus
And his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth.”
Merry and tragical! tedious and brief!
That is, hot ice and wondrous strange snow.
How shall we find the concord of this discord?

 

PHILOSTRATE
A play there is, my lord, some ten words long,
But by ten words, my lord, it is too long,
There is not one word apt, one player fitted:

 

THESEUS
What are they that do play it?

 

PHILOSTRATE
Hard-handed men, that work in Athens here,
Which never labour’d in their minds till now;

 

THESEUS
And we will hear it.

 

PHILOSTRATE
No, my noble lord;
It is not for you: I have heard it over,
And it is nothing, nothing in the world;

 

THESEUS
I will hear that play;
For never any thing can be amiss,
When simpleness and duty tender it.
Go, bring them in:-and take your places, ladies.

 

PHILOSTRATE
So please your grace, the Prologue is address’d.

 

THESEUS
Let him approach. 

.

PROLOGUE
If we offend, it is with our good will.
That is the true beginning of our end.
The actors are at hand; and, by their show,
You shall know all that you are like to know.
            

THESEUS
This fellow doth not stand upon points.

 

LYSANDER
He hath rid his prologue like a rough colt;

 

HIPPOLYTA
Indeed he hath play’d on his prologue like a child 
on a recorder.

 

THESEUS
Who is next?

 

PROLOGUE
Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show;
But wonder on, till truth make all things plain.

 

WALL 
In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall;
And such a wall, as I would have you think,
That had in it a crannied hole or chink,
Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisbe,
Did whisper often very secretly.

 

THESEUS
Pyramus draws near the wall: silence!

 

PYRAMUS
O grim-look’d night! O night with hue so black!
O night, which ever art when day is not!
I fear my Thisbe’s promise is forgot!—
And thou, O wall, O sweet, O lovely wall,
That stand’st between her father’s ground and mine!
Show me thy chink, to blink through with mine eyne!.
Thanks, courteous wall: Jove shield thee well for this!
But what see I? No Thisbe do I see.
O wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss!
            

THISBE
O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans,
My cherry lips have often kiss’d thy stones. 

 

PYRAMUS
I see a voice: now will I to the chink,
To spy an I can hear my Thisbe’s face.—
Thisbe!

 

THISBE
My love! thou art my love, I think.

 

PYRAMUS
O, kiss me through the hole of this vile wall!

 

THISBE
I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all. 

 

PYRAMUS
Wilt thou at Ninny’s tomb meet me straightway?

 

QUINCE [exasperated] Ninus’ Tomb!

 

THISBE
‘Tide life, ‘tide death, I come without delay.

 

WALL
Thus have I, wall, my part discharged so;
And, being done, thus wall away doth go.

 

HIPPOLYTA
This is the silliest stuff that e’er I heard.

 

THESEUS
Here come two noble beasts in, a moon and a lion.

.

LION
You, ladies may now perchance both quake 
and tremble here,
When lion rough in wildest rage doth roar.
Then know that I one 
Snug the joiner am,

 

THESEUS
A very gentle beast, and of a good conscience.
Let us listen to the moon.

 

MOONSHINE 
This lantern doth the horned moon present;
Myself the man-i’-th’-moon do seem to be.

 

HIPPOLYTA 
I am aweary of this moon. Would he would change.

 

LYSANDER
Proceed, moon.

 

MOONSHINE
All that I have to say is, to tell you that the lantern 
is the moon; I, the man-i’-th’-moon; this thorn-bush, my thorn-bush; and this dog, my dog.

 

DEMETRIUS
Here comes Thisbe.

 

THISBE
This is old Ninny’s tomb. 

 

QUINCE 

Ninus’ tomb, man!

 

THISBE
This is old Ninnies’ tomb!. Where is my love?

 

QUINCE, “Aarrrgh!” 

 

LION
O—

DEMETRIUS
Well roar’d, lion.

 

THESEUS
Well run, Thisbe.

 

HIPPOLYTA
Well shone, moon.

 

THESEUS
Well moused, lion.

 

DEMETRIUS
And then came Pyramus.

 

PYRAMUS
Sweet moon, I thank thee for thy sunny beams;
But mark, poor knight,
What dreadful dole is here!
Eyes, do you see?
How can it be?
O dainty duck! O dear!
Thy mantle good,
What, stain’d with blood?
Come, tears, confound;
Out, sword, and wound
The pap of Pyramus,—
Ay, that left pap,
Where heart doth hop: [stabs himself]
Thus die I, thus, thus.

Now am I dead,
Now am I fled;
My soul is in the sky:
Tongue, lose thy light;
Moon, take thy flight:.
Now die, die, die, die, die. (dies)

 

THESEUS
With the help of a surgeon he might yet recover, 
and yet prove an ass.

 

THISBE

Asleep, my love?
What, dead my dove?
O Pyramus, arise!
Speak, speak. Quite dumb?
Dead, dead? A tomb
Must cover thy sweet eyes.
His eyes were green as leeks.
Come, trusty sword;
Come, blade, my breast imbrue [stabs herself]
And, farewell, friends,—
Thus Thisbe ends,-
Adieu, adieu, adieu.  dies]

 

BOTTOM 
Will it please you to see the epilogue, or to hear a Bergomask dance between two of our company?

 

THESEUS
No epilogue, I pray you; for your play needs no excuse.       The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve:
Lovers, to bed; ’tis almost fairy-time. 

 

OBERON
Now, until the break of day,
Through this house each fairy stray.
So shall all the couples three
Ever true in loving be; 

PUCK

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,-
That you have but slumber’d here,
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,

PUCK
And Robin shall restore amends!

 

ALL REPEAT

And Robin shall restore amends!

All raise arms holding hands, and bow!