The30MinuteShakespeare

Be bloody bold and resolute!

Join us for Let's Make a Scene: The Scottish Play!

We will round-robin read Macbeth: The 30-Minute Shakespeare, which means you can be a ghost, a witch, or someone "from his mother's womb untimely ripped!"  Good clean fun in late October.

Here is the script as a text document:

Here it is as a Word doc: (click the little blue docx link at the bottom of the block of text)

Here it is as a PDF: (Click the little blue PDF link at the bottom of the block of text)

Here is the Zoom Link:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85839762850?pwd=L3JtdTlCR0VUdEg0Qiszc29Gek1udz09

Here is the Facebook invitation link:

And here is the script pasted:

See you Monday October 23rd, 7:30 EST, the witching hour!

Characters in the play

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting  

of Macbeth.

First Witch

Second Witch

Third Witch

Macbeth A Scottish general, Thane of Glamis

Banquo A general, prophesied by witches to inherit throne ross: A Scottish nobleman 

Duncan: King of Scotland 

Malcolm: son of King Duncan 

Lady Macbeth: Macbeth’s ambitious wife

Murderer

Lennox A Scottish nobleman

Gentlewoman Doctor

Macduff A Scottish nobleman, hostile to Macbeth’s kingship

Narrators

 scene 1. (act I, scenes 1 and 2)

A desert place. 

First Witch

When shall we three meet again In thunder, lightning, or in rain?

Second Witch

When the hurlyburly’s done, 

When the battle’s lost and won.

Third Witch

That will be ere the set of sun.

all  

Fair is foul, and foul is fair: 

Hover through the fog and filthy air.

Third Witch

A drum, a drum! 

Macbeth doth come.

all

The weird sisters, hand in hand, 

Posters of the sea and land, Thus do go about, about: 

Peace! the charm’s wound up.

Macbeth

So foul and fair a day I have not seen.

Banquo

What are these 

So wither’d and so wild in their attire, That look not like the inhabitants o’ the earth, And yet are on’t? 

Macbeth

Speak, if you can: what are you?

First Witch 

All hail, Macbeth! hail to thee, thane of Glamis!

Second Witch

All hail, Macbeth, hail to thee, thane of Cawdor!

Third Witch

All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter! [to BANQUO] Thou shalt get kings, though thou be none: 

So all hail, Macbeth and Banquo!

First Witch

Banquo and Macbeth, all hail!

Macbeth 

Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more: 

I know I am thane of Glamis; 

But how of Cawdor? the thane of Cawdor lives, 

and to be king 

Stands not within the prospect of belief, Speak, I charge you.

[Exit Witches, vanishing in all directions]

Banquo Whither are they vanish’d?

Macbeth

Into the air; As breath into the wind.  

[to Banquo] Your children shall be kings.

Banquo

You shall be king.

Macbeth

And thane of Cawdor too: went it not so?

Banquo 

Who’s here?

Ross The king hath happily received, Macbeth, 

The news of thy success; He bade me, from him, call thee thane of Cawdor:

Banquo

What, can the devil speak true?

Macbeth

[aside] I am thane of Cawdor: 

If chance will have me king, why, chance may crown me, Without my stir. 

[to all] Let us toward the king. 

Think upon what hath chanced, and, at more time, The interim having weigh’d it, let us speak Our free hearts each to other.

Banquo

Very gladly.

Macbeth

Till then, enough. Come, friends.

 Scene 2. (act i, Scene iV)

The palace. Narrator

King Duncan thanks Macbeth and Banquo for their heroics, and announces his intention to have his son Malcolm succeed him as King. Macbeth is convinced that he can only become King by killing King Duncan.

Duncan

O worthiest cousin! 

More is thy due than more than all can pay.

Macbeth 

The service and the loyalty I owe, 

In doing it, pays itself. Your highness’ part 

Is to receive our duties; and our duties Are to your throne and children by doing every thing 

Safe toward your love and honour.

Duncan 

Welcome hither: 

I have begun to plant thee, and will labour 

To make thee full of growing. Noble Banquo, That hast no less deserved, let me enfold thee And hold thee to my heart.

Banquo 

There if I grow, 

The harvest is your own.

Duncan 

We will establish our estate upon 

Our eldest, Malcolm, whom we name hereafter 

The Prince of Cumberland; 

Macbeth

[aside] The Prince of Cumberland! that is a step On which I must fall down, or else o’erleap, For in my way it lies. Stars, hide your fires; 

Let not light see my black and deep desires: The eye wink at the hand; yet let that be, 

Which the eye fears, when it is done, to see.

.

Duncan [to Banquo]

True, worthy Banquo; he is full so valiant, Let’s after him.

Scene 3. act i, Scene V, act ii, Scenes 1 and 2

Inverness, Macbeth’s castle. 

Narrator

Lady Macbeth reads her husband’s letter about his meeting with the Witches. Macbeth arrives, and she tells him that she will take charge of the preparations for King Duncan’s murder.

Lady Macbeth [reading]

“Came missives from the king, who all-hailed me ‘Thane of Cawdor’; by which title, before, these weird sisters saluted me, and referred me to the coming on of time, with ‘Hail, king that shalt be!’ This have I thought good to deliver thee, my dearest partner of greatness.” 

(speaking now, and standing) Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be 

What thou art promised: yet do I fear thy nature; 

It is too full o’ the milk of human kindness 

Hie thee hither, 

That I may pour my spirits in thine ear; 

And chastise with the valour of my tongue 

All that impedes thee from the golden round,  ) Which fate and metaphysical aid doth seem To have thee crown’d withal. 

The king comes here to-night. 

He brings great news. 

The raven himself is hoarse 

That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan Under my battlements. 

 Come, you spirits 

That tend on mortal thoughts, unsex me here, 

And fill me from the crown to the toe top-full 

Of direst cruelty! make thick my blood; 

Stop up the access and passage to remorse, Come, thick night, 

And pall thee in the dunnest smoke of hell, 

That my keen knife see not the wound it makes, 

Nor heaven peep through the blanket of the dark, To cry “Hold, hold!”

[To Macbeth]

Great Glamis! worthy Cawdor! 

Thy letters have transported me beyond This ignorant present, and I feel now The future in the instant.

Macbeth 

My dearest love, 

Duncan comes here to-night.

Lady Macbeth

And when goes hence?

Macbeth

To-morrow, as he purposes.

Lady Macbeth

O, never 

Shall sun that morrow see! 

Your face, my thane, is as a book where men May read strange matters.  

 Look like the 

innocent flower, 

But be the serpent under’t. He that’s coming 

Must be provided for: and you shall put 

This night’s great business into my dispatch; 

Which shall to all our nights and days to come Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.

Macbeth

We will speak further.

Lady Macbeth 

Only look up clear; 

To alter favour ever is to fear: 

Leave all the rest to me.

Macbeth

Is this a dagger which I see before me, 

The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.  (tries to clutch dagger, but it has no substance) I have thee not, and yet I see thee still. 

Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible 

To feeling as to sight? or art thou but 

A dagger of the mind, a false creation, 

Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain? 

I see thee yet, in form as palpable 

As this which now I draw. 

Thou marshall’st me the way that I was going; And such an instrument I was to use. 

Thou sure and firm-set earth, 

Hear not my steps, which way they walk, for fear Thy very stones prate of my whereabout.

I go, and it is done; the bell invites me. Hear it not, Duncan; for it is a knell 

That summons thee to heaven or to hell.

Lady Macbeth

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold; What hath quench’d them hath given me fire. 

I have drugg’d their possets, 

That death and nature do contend about them, Whether they live or die.

Hark! Peace! 

It was the owl that shriek’d,

[Enter Macbeth His hands are bloody and he holds two bloody daggers.]

My husband!

Macbeth

I have done the deed. Didst thou not hear a noise?

Lady MacbethI heard the owl scream and the crickets cry.

Macbeth This is a sorry sight.

Lady Macbeth A foolish thought, to say a sorry sight.

Macbeth 

Methought I heard a voice cry “Sleep no more! 

Macbeth does murder sleep”—the innocent sleep, 

Sleep that knits up the ravell’d sleeve of care, “Macbeth shall sleep no more.”

Lady Macbeth

Who was it that thus cried? Why, worthy thane, 

You do unbend your noble strength, to think 

So brainsickly of things. 

Why did you bring these daggers from the place? 

They must lie there: go carry them; and smear 

The sleepy grooms with blood. 

Macbeth  I’ll go no more: 

I am afraid to think what I have done; Look on’t again I dare not.

Lady Macbeth

Infirm of purpose!

Give me the daggers: the sleeping and the dead 

Are but as pictures: ’tis the eye of childhood 

That fears a painted devil. If he do bleed, I’ll gild the faces of the grooms withal; For it must seem their guilt.

Macbeth

Whence is that knocking? 

How is’t with me, when every noise appals me? 

What hands are here? ha! they pluck out mine eyes. Will all great Neptune’s ocean wash this blood Clean from my hand? 

Lady Macbeth

My hands are of your colour; but I shame To wear a heart so white.

Macbeth

To know my deed, ’twere best not know myself.

Wake Duncan with thy knocking! I would thou couldst!

Scene 4. (act iii, Scene iV)

Hall in the palace. 

Narrator

Having ordered Banquo murdered, Macbeth discovers an unexpected guest at his feast: Banquo’s ghost!

Macbeth

Sit down and hearty welcome. 

Ross

Thanks to your majesty.

Macbeth ( to Murderer) There’s blood on thy face.

Murderer

’Tis Banquo’s then.

Macbeth

’Tis better thee without than he within. 

Is he dispatch’d?

Murderer

My lord, his throat is cut.

MacbethAnd Fleance?

Murderer

Most royal sir, 

Fleance is ’scaped.

Macbeth

Now I am, confined, in saucy doubts and fears. But Banquo’s safe?

Murderer

Ay, my good lord: safe in a ditch he bides, With twenty trenched gashes on his head.

Macbeth

Thanks for that: Get thee gone: 

Lady Macbeth 

My royal lord, 

You do not give the cheer;

Macbeth 

Now, good digestion  And health! All at table toast and give a cheer. lennox 

May’t please your highness sit.

[Enter the Ghost of Banquo]

Macbeth

The table’s full.

Lennoz

Here is a place reserved, sir.

Macbeth

Where?

Lennox 

Here, my good lord. What is’t that moves your highness?

Macbeth

Which of you have done this? 

Ross 

What, my good lord?

Macbeth

Thou canst not say I did it: Never shake Thy gory locks at me. ross 

Gentlemen, rise: his highness is not well.

Lady Macbeth

Sit, worthy friends: my lord is often thus, And hath been from his youth: pray you, keep seat; [to Macbeth, aside] Are you a man?

Macbeth

Ay, and a bold one, that dare look on that Which might appal the devil.

Lady Macbeth 

O proper stuff! 

This is the very painting of your fear: This is the air-drawn dagger which, you said, Led you to Duncan.  

Why do you make such faces? When all’s done, You look but on a stool.

Macbeth  

Behold! look! lo!

Lady Macbeth 

My worthy lord, 

Your noble friends do lack you.

Macbeth

Do not muse at me, my most worthy friends, 

I have a strange infirmity, which is nothing 

To those that know me. Come, love and health to all; 

Then I’ll sit down. I drink to our dear friend 

Banquo, whom we miss;

Macbeth

Quit my sight! let the earth hide thee! 

Thy bones are marrowless, thy blood is cold; 

Thou hast no speculation in those eyes 

Which thou dost glare with! Hence, horrible shadow! 

Unreal mockery, hence!

Why, so: being gone, I am a man again. 

 Pray you, sit still.

Lady Macbeth

You have displaced the mirth With most admired disorder. ross 

What sights, my lord?

Lady Macbeth

I pray you, speak not; he grows worse and worse; Go at once. 

Lennox

Good night; and better health Attend his majesty!

Lady Macbeth

A kind good night to all!

Macbeth

It will have blood; they say, blood will have blood: Stones have been known to move and trees to speak; I will, to the weird sisters: 

More shall they speak; for now I am bent to know, By the worst means, the worst. For mine own good, I am in blood. 

Strange things I have in head, that will to hand; Which must be acted ere they may be scann’d.

Lady Macbeth

You lack the season of all natures, sleep.

Macbeth

Come, we’ll to sleep. 

We are yet but young in deed.

Scene 5. (act iV, Scene i)

A cavern.

Narrator

The Three Witches conjure around the cauldron, making predictions that embolden Macbeth, who decides to kill Macduff’s family.

First Witch

Thrice the brinded cat hath mew’d.

Second Withc

Thrice and once the hedge-pig whined.

Third Witch

Harpier cries ’Tis time, ’tis time.

First Witch

Round about the cauldron go; In the poison’d entrails throw. Swelter’d venom sleeping got, 

Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.

All

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch

Fillet of a fenny snake, 

In the cauldron boil and bake; 

Eye of newt and toe of frog, 

Wool of bat and tongue of dog, For a charm of powerful trouble, 

Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

All

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Third Witch

Liver of blaspheming Jew, 

Gall of goat, and slips of yew 

Finger of birth-strangled babe Ditch-deliver’d by a drab, Make the gruel thick and slab: 

Add thereto a tiger’s chaudron, 

For the ingredients of our cauldron.

All

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and cauldron bubble.

Second Witch

Cool it with a baboon’s blood, 

Then the charm is firm and good. By the pricking of my thumbs, 

Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, 

Whoever knocks! 

Macbeth

How now, you secret, black, and midnight hags! 

What is’t you do?

All

A deed without a name.

Macbeth

I conjure you, by that which you profess, 

Howe’er you come to know it, answer me:

First Witch

Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth! beware Macduff; Beware the thane of Fife. 

Second Witch

Macbeth! Macbeth! Macbeth!

Macbeth

Had I three ears, I’ld hear thee.

Second Witch

Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn 

The power of man, for none of woman born Shall harm Macbeth.

Macbeth

Then live, Macduff: what need I fear of thee? But yet I’ll make assurance double sure, thou shalt not live.

Third Witch 

Macbeth shall never vanquish’d be until Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill Shall come against him.

Macbeth

That will never be 

Who can impress the forest, bid the tree Unfix his earth-bound root? Sweet bodements! Good!

Macbeth

Where are they? Gone?

[Enter Lennox]

What’s your grace’s will?

MacBeTH 

Saw you the weird sisters?

Lennox

No, my lord. 

My lord, Macduff is fled to England.

Macbeth

The castle of Macduff I will surprise; 

Seize upon Fife; give to the edge o’ the sword His wife, his babes, and all unfortunate souls That trace him in his line.

Scene 6. (act V, Scene i)

Dunsinane. Anteroom in the castle. 

Narrator

A gentlewoman who waits on Lady Macbeth calls on a doctor to witness Lady Macbeth’s compulsive sleepwalking behavior.

Gentlewoman

Lo you, here she comes! This is her very guise; and, upon my life, fast asleep. 

Doctor

How came she by that light?

Gentlewoman

She has light by her continually; ’tis her command.

Doctor

You see, her eyes are open.

Gentlewoman

Ay, but their sense is shut.

Doctor

What is it she does now? Look, how she rubs her hands.

Gentlewoman

It is an accustomed action with her, to seem thus washing her hands:

Lady Macbeth

Yet here’s a spot. 

Out, damned spot! out, I say!—One: two: Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him. The thane of Fife had a wife: where is she now?— What, will these hands ne’er be clean?

Doctor [to Gentlewoman]

You have known what you should not.

Gentlewoman

She has spoke what she should not, I am sure of that: 

heaven knows what she has known.

Lady Macbeth

Here’s the smell of the blood still: all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand. Oh, oh, oh!

Doctor

What a sigh is there! The heart is sorely charged.

Gentlewoman 

I would not have such a heart in my bosom for the dignity of the whole body.

Lady Macbeth

Wash your hands,  

Banquo’s buried; 

He cannot come out on’s grave. 

To bed, to bed! there’s knocking at the gate: 

come, come, come, come, give me your hand. What’s done cannot be undone.—To bed, to bed, to bed!

Doctor

Foul whisperings are abroad: unnatural deeds Do breed unnatural troubles: infected minds 

To their deaf pillows will discharge their secrets: God, God forgive us all! Look after her; I think, but dare not speak.

Gentlewoman

Good night, good doctor.

Scene 7. (act V, Scene Viii)

Another part of the field. 

Narrator

Macbeth and Macduff fight fiercely, as the Witches’ prophecies unfold.

Macbeth

Why should I play the Roman fool, and die On mine own sword?

[Enter Macduff]

Macduff

Turn, hell-hound, turn!

They fight.

Macbeth

Thou losest labour: 

I bear a charmed life, which must not yield, To one of woman born.

Macduff 

Despair thy charm; 

And let the angel whom thou still hast served 

Tell thee, Macduff was from his mother’s womb Untimely ripp’d.

Macbeth

Accursed be that tongue that tells me so, For it hath cow’d my better part of man! 

I’ll not fight with thee.

Macduff

Then yield thee, coward, 

We’ll have thee, as our rarer monsters are, 

Painted on a pole, and underwrit, “Here may you see the tyrant.”

Macbeth

I will not yield, 

To kiss the ground before young Malcolm’s feet, 

Though Birnam wood be come to Dunsinane, 

And thou opposed, being of no woman born, 

Yet I will try the last. Lay on, Macduff, 

And damn’d be him that first cries, “Hold, enough!”

Malcolm 

I would the friends we miss were safe arrived. Macduff is missing,  

Here comes newer comfort.

[Re-enter MacduffF, holding Macbeth’s head in a bag.]

MacDUFF (to Malcolm) 

Hail, king! for so thou art: behold, where stands 

The usurper’s cursed head: the time is free: Hail, King of Scotland!

All

Hail, King of Scotland!

Malcolm

What’s more to do, 

Producing forth the cruel ministers 

Of this dead butcher and his fiend-like queen, 

Who, as ’tis thought, by self and violent hands 

Took off her life;  

This, we will perform in measure, time and place: So, thanks to all at once and to each one, 

Whom we invite to see us crown’d at Scone.

ALL

Out, out, brief candle! 

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player 

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage 

And then is heard no more: it is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

All hold hands and take a bow!

Greetings from The 30-Minute Shakespeare!

It's time for our monthly Let's Make a Scene!

Thursday, September 9th, 2023, 7:30 to 8:30 PM EST.

Happy Summer, Folks! It's time for our monthly fun Zoom Shakespeare spectacular. We engage in a dramatic round-robin reading of Julius Caesar: The 30-Minute Shakespeare!

No experience necessary, just a desire to have some fun on a Thursday eve from the comfort of your own home with a group of fellow silly armchair thespians lookin' to throw around some high drama.

Brutus! Be Caesar! Be a mob! Be a clairvoyant soothsayer or a mistaken and misbegotten poet. Be all you can be at Let's Make a Scene!

Here is Zoom link:

Here is the Facebook Event Link

Here is the script in Word and PDF and we will also paste it into the chat, so you won't need anything!

It is sometimes easier to read on a printout or a tablet.  I have also pasted the text to the script below:

All participants will receive a FREE emailed PDF of Julius Caesar: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

Play on!

Julius Caesar: Let’s Make a Scene!

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Summer, Folks! It's time for our monthly fun Zoom Shakespeare spectacular.  We engage in a dramatic round-robin reading of "A Midsummer Night's Dream: The 30-Minute Shakespeare"!

You get to play a sprite, a fairy queen, and ass (typecasting?) a confused-by-magic-potion lover, and more, all from your own home, transported with your fellow readers to a hysterical and magical world.

Free, silly, no experience necessary! 

Here is the Zoom link:

 https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84407622384?pwd=dmdTOTY5UlFwbzR3RXhHWVpybC90QT09

And here is the Word version of the script to read on tablet or phone or printout:

And here is the PDF:

See you Monday August 7th at 7:30 EST 

Play on!

Nick Newlin

The 30-Minute Shakespeare

**********''

And here is the script pasted:

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

 

SCENE 1 (ACT III, SCENE II).

 

NARRATOR  

In the woods outside of Athens, Oberon, the king of the fairies, and Puck, a hobgoblin in Oberon’s service are wreaking havoc on the love lives of our characters by anointing their eyes with love juice, sometimes with unexpected consequences!

OBERON
I wonder if Titania be awaked;
Then, what it was that next came in her eye,
Which she must dote on in extremity.-
Here comes my messenger.
            [Enter PUCK] 
How now, mad spirit!
What night-rule now about this haunted grove?

 

PUCK

My mistress with a monster is in love. 
A crew of patches, rude mechanicals,
Were met together to rehearse a play,
The shallowest thickskin of that barren sort,
An ass’s nole I fixed on his head:
So, at his sight, away his fellows fly;
When in that moment,—so it came to pass,—
Titania waked, and straightway loved an ass.

 

OBERON

This falls out better than I could devise.
But hast thou yet latch’d the Athenian’s eyes
With the love-juice, as I did bid thee do?

 

PUCK
I took him sleeping,—that is finish’d too,—
And the Athenian woman by his side;
That, when he waked, of force she must be eyed.

 

[Enter HERMIA and DEMETRIUS]. 

 

OBERON

Stand close: this is the same Athenian. 

 

PUCK

This is the woman, but not this the man.

 

DEMETRIUS
O, why rebuke you him that loves you so?

 

HERMIA
For thou, I fear, hast given me cause to curse.
If thou hast slain Lysander in his sleep,
See me no more, whether he be dead or no.

 

DEMETRIUS
There is no following her in this fierce vein:
Here therefore for a while I will remain.
            

OBERON
What hast thou done? thou hast mistaken quite,
And laid the love-juice on some true-love’s sight:
About the wood go swifter than the wind,
And Helena of Athens look thou find:
By some illusion see thou bring her here:
I’ll charm his eyes against she do appear.

 

PUCK
I go, I go; look how I go,
Swifter than arrow from the Tartar’s bow.

 

OBERON Flower of this purple dye,
Hit with Cupid’s archery,

            Sink in apple of his eye!
When his love he doth espy,
Let her shine as gloriously
As the Venus of the sky. 

 

PUCK 
Captain of our fairy band,
Helena is here at hand;
And the youth, mistook by me,
Pleading for a lover’s fee.
Shall we their fond pageant see?
Lord, what fools these mortals be!

LYSANDER
Why should you think that I should woo in scorn?
Scorn and derision never come in tears:
Look, when I vow, I weep.

 

HELENA 
You do advance your cunning more and more.
When truth kills truth, O devilish-holy fray!
These vows are Hermia’s: will you give her o’er?

 

LYSANDER
I had no judgment when to her I swore.
Demetrius loves her, and he loves not you.

 

DEMETRIUS [awaking;]
O Helen, goddess, nymph, perfect, divine!
Thy lips, those kissing cherries, tempting grow!
O, let me kiss
This princess of pure white, this seal of bliss! 
            

HELENA

O spite! O hell! I see you all are bent
To set against me for your merriment:
You both are rivals, and love Hermia;
And now both rivals, to mock Helena. 
            

LYSANDER
You are unkind, Demetrius; be not so;
For you love Hermia;- this you know I know:

 

DEMETRIUS
Lysander, keep thy Hermia; I will none:
If e’er I lov’d her, all that love is gone.

 

DEMETRIUS [to Lysander]
Look, where thy love comes; yonder is thy dear.

 

HERMIA
Lysander, found; 
Mine ear, I thank it, brought me to thy sound.
But why unkindly didst thou leave me so?

 

LYSANDER 
Why should he stay, whom love doth press to go?

 

HERMIA 
What love could press Lysander from my side?

 

LYSANDER 
Lysander’s love, that would not let him bide,- 
Fair Helena; who more engilds the night
Than all yon fiery O’s and eyes of light.
[to Hermia] Why seek’st thou me? could not this make thee know,
The hate I bear thee made me leave thee so?

 

HERMIA 
You speak not as you think: it cannot be.

 

HELENA 
Lo, she is one of this confederacy!
Now I perceive they have conjoin’d all three
To fashion this false sport in spite of me.
Injurious Hermia! most ungrateful maid!
Have you conspired, have you with these contrived
To bait me with this foul derision?

 

HERMIA 

I am amazed at your passionate words.
I scorn you not: it seems that you scorn me.

 

HELENA
Have you not set Lysander, as in scorn,
To follow me, and praise my eyes and face?
And made your other love, Demetrius—
Who even but now did spurn me with his foot—
To call me goddess, nymph, divine, and rare.

 

LYSANDER
Stay, gentle Helena; hear my excuse:
My love, my life, my soul, fair Helena!

 

HELENA
O excellent!

 

HERMIA [to Lysander]
Sweet, do not scorn her so.

 

LYSANDER)
Helen, I love thee; by my life, I do. 

 

DEMETRIUS 

I say I love thee more than he can do.

 

LYSANDER 
If thou say so, withdraw, and prove it too.   

.

DEMETRIUS
Quick, come!

 

HERMIA
Lysander, whereto tends all this? 

 

LYSANDER [to Hermia]
Hang off, thou cat, thou burr! vile thing, let loose,
Or I will shake thee from me like a serpent! 

 

HERMIA
Am not I Hermia? are not you Lysander?
I am as fair now as I was erewhile.
Since night you loved me; yet since night you left me:

 

LYSANDER
Ay, by my life;
And never did desire to see thee more.
Be certain, nothing truer; ‘tis no jest
That I do hate thee, and love Helena.

 

HERMIA [to Helena]
O me!— you juggler! you canker-blossom!
You thief of love! what, have you come by night
And stol’n my love’s heart from him?

 

HELENA 
Fie, fie! you counterfeit, you puppet, you!

 

HERMIA
Puppet! why, so; ay, that way goes the game.
Now I perceive that she hath made compare
Between our statures; she hath urged her height;
And are you grown so high in his esteem,
Because I am so dwarfish and so low?
How low am I, thou painted maypole? Speak;
How low am I? I am not yet so low
But that my nails can reach unto thine eyes. 

 

HELENA

 I pray you, though you mock me, gentlemen,
Let her not hurt me: 
You perhaps may think,
Because she is something lower than myself,
That I can match her.

 

HERMIA
Lower! hark, again.

 

HELENA
O, when she’s angry, she is keen and shrewd!
And though she be but little, she is fierce.

 

HERMIA

Little again! Let me come to her. 
            

LYSANDER

Get you gone, you dwarf;
You minimus, of hind’ring knot-grass made;
You bead, you acorn.

 

LYSANDER [to Demetrius]
Now follow, if thou darest, to try whose right,
Of thine or mine, is most in Helena.

 

DEMETRIUS
Follow! nay, I’ll go with thee, cheek by jowl.

 

HELENA
Your hands than mine are quicker for a fray;
My legs are longer though, to run away. 

 

HERMIA
I am amazed, and know not what to say.

 

OBERON
This is thy negligence. 

 

PUCK
Believe me, king of shadows, I mistook.

 

OBERON
Thou see’st these lovers seek a place to fight:
Hie therefore, Robin, overcast the night;
Then crush this herb into Lysander’s eye;
And make his eyeballs roll with wonted sight.
When they next wake, all this derision
Shall seem a dream and fruitless vision.

 

PUCK 
Up and down, up and down,
I will lead them up and down:
Here comes one

LYSANDER
Where art thou, proud Demetrius? speak thou now.

 

PUCK [imitating Demetrius]
Here, villain; drawn and ready. 
Follow me, then,
To plainer ground.

 

LYSANDER 
When I come where he calls,
then he is gone 

[yawns] 

Here will I rest me. 

DEMETRIUS [not seeing Lysander]
Lysander! speak again:
Thou runaway, thou coward, art thou fled?

 

PUCK
Ho, ho, ho! Coward, why comest thou not? 

 

DEMETRIUS
Thou runn’st before me, shifting every place.
Faintness constraineth me
To measure out my length on this cold bed. 
            

HELENA
O weary night, O long and tedious night,
Sleep, that sometime shuts up sorrow’s eye,
Steal me awhile from mine own company. 
            

PUCK
Yet but three? Come one more;
Two of both kinds makes up four.
Here she comes, curst and sad:-
Cupid is a knavish lad,
Thus to make poor females mad.

 

HERMIA
Never so weary, never so in woe;
I can no further crawl, no further go;
Here will I rest me till the break of day.
            

PUCK
On the ground
Sleep sound:
I’ll apply
To your eye,
Gentle lover, remedy.

            [squeezing the herb on LYSANDER’s eyelids]

 

When thou wakest,
Thou takest
True delight
In the sight
Of thy former lady’s eye

 

SCENE 2 (ACT IV, SCENE I)

 

NARRATOR 

Through magical fairie mischief, Bottom the Weaver has been transformed into an ass, and Titania, Queen of the fairies has fallen in love with him. We are still in the woods . . .

 

TITANIA)
Come, sit thee down upon this flowery bed, 
While I thy amiable cheeks do coy,
And stick musk-roses in thy sleek smooth head,
And kiss thy fair large ears, my gentle joy.

 

BOTTOM
Where’s Peas-blossom?

 

PEAS-BLOSSOM
Ready.

 

BOTTOM
Scratch my head, Peas-blossom.
Where’s Monsieur Cobweb?

 

COBWEB
Ready.

 

BOTTOM
Monsieur Cobweb, good monsieur, get your weapons in your hand, and kill me a red-hipp’d humble-bee on the top of a thistle; and, good monsieur, bring me the honey-bag.

Where’s Monsieur Mustard-Seed?

 

MUSTARD-SEED

What’s your will?

 

BOTTOM
Nothing, good monsieur, but to help Cavalery Peas-blossom to scratch.

I must to the barber’s, monsieur; for methinks I am
marvelous hairy about the face; and I am such a
tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.

 

TITANIA
What, wilt thou hear some music, my sweet love?

 

BOTTOM
I have a reasonable good ear in music: let’s have the tongs and bones. 

 

[Bottom yawns]

 

 I have an exposition of sleep come upon me.

 

TITANIA
Sleep thou, and I will wind thee in my arms.-
Fairies, be gone, and be all ways away.
O, how I love thee! how I dote on thee! 

 

 

OBERON

Welcome, good Robin. See’st thou this sweet sight?
Her dotage now I do begin to pity: I will undo
This hateful imperfection of her eyes:
And, gentle Puck, take this transformed scalp
From off the head of this Athenian swain;
That he, awaking when the other do,
May all to Athens back again repair,
And think no more of this night’s accidents,
But as the fierce vexation of a dream.
But first I will release the fairy queen.
Be as thou wast wont to be

See as thou wast wont to see:
Now, my Titania: wake you, my sweet queen.

 

TITANIA 
My Oberon! what visions have I seen!
Methought I was enamour’d of an ass.

 

OBERON 
There lies your love.

 

TITANIA)
How came these things to pass?)
O, how mine eyes do loathe his visage now! 
            

OBERON
Silence awhile.—Robin, take off this head.—
Titania, music call; and strike more dead
Than common sleep of all these five the sense.

 

TITANIA
Music, ho! music, such as charmeth sleep. 

 

PUCK
Now, when thou wakest, with thine own fool’s eyes peep. 
            

TITANIA
Come, my lord; and in our flight,
Tell me how it came this night
That I sleeping here was found
With these mortals on the ground.

 

THESEUS
We will, fair queen, up to the mountain’s top,
But, soft! what nymphs are these? 
            

EGEUS
My lord, this is my daughter here asleep
And this, Lysander; this Demetrius is;
This Helena, I wonder of their being here together.

 

THESEUS 

Wake them.

 

LYSANDER
Pardon, my lord. 
            

THESEUS
I pray you all, stand up.
I know you two are rival enemies: 
How comes this gentle concord in the world,
That hatred is so far from jealousy,
To sleep by hate, and fear no enmity?

 

LYSANDER
My lord, 
I cannot truly say how I came here;
I came with Hermia hither 

EGEUS

I beg the law, the law, upon his head.

 

DEMETRIUS
But, my good lord, I wot not by what power,—
But by some power it is,—my love to Hermia,
Melted as the snow,
And all the faith, the virtue of my heart,
The object, and the pleasure of mine eye,
Is only Helena. 
            

THESEUS
Fair lovers, you are fortunately met:
Egeus, I will overbear your will;
For in the temple, by and by, with us
These couples shall eternally be knit:
Away with us to Athens! three and three,
We’ll hold a feast in great solemnity.
Come, Hippolyta.

 

DEMETRIUS

Are you sure
That we are awake? It seems to me
That yet we sleep, we dream.- 
Let’s follow him;
And, by the way, let us recount our dreams.

 

BOTTOM [awaking]
I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream,—past the wit of man to say what dream it was: man is but an ass, if he go about to expound this dream. Methought I was (and methought I had) but man is but a patch’d fool, if he will offer to say what methought I had. I will get Peter Quince to write a ballad of this dream: it shall be called Bottom’s Dream, because it hath no bottom; and I will sing it in the latter end of a play before the duke:

 

SCENE 3 (ACT V, SCENE I)

Athens. An apartment in the palace of Theseus

 

 

NARRATOR 
To complete our festive comedy, Bottom and the
“rude mechanicals” perform the merry and tragical play of Pyramus and Thisbe for Theseus and Hippolyta and our newly married lovers. The fairies bless the three marriages and all is well. But still we wonder, has this all been a dream?

 

 

THESEUS
Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth.
Come now; what masks, what dances shall we have,
What revels are in hand? Call Philostrate.

 

PHILOSTRATE 
Here, mighty Theseus.

 

THESEUS
Say, what abridgement have you for this evening?
What mask? what music?

 

PHILOSTRATE
Make choice of which your highness will see first.

 

THESEUS [reading]
“The battle with the Centaurs, to be sung
By an Athenian eunuch to the harp.”
We’ll none of that: 
That is an old device; 
 “A tedious brief scene of young Pyramus
And his love Thisbe; very tragical mirth.”
Merry and tragical! tedious and brief!
That is, hot ice and wondrous strange snow.
How shall we find the concord of this discord?

 

PHILOSTRATE
A play there is, my lord, some ten words long,
But by ten words, my lord, it is too long,
There is not one word apt, one player fitted:

 

THESEUS
What are they that do play it?

 

PHILOSTRATE
Hard-handed men, that work in Athens here,
Which never labour’d in their minds till now;

 

THESEUS
And we will hear it.

 

PHILOSTRATE
No, my noble lord;
It is not for you: I have heard it over,
And it is nothing, nothing in the world;

 

THESEUS
I will hear that play;
For never any thing can be amiss,
When simpleness and duty tender it.
Go, bring them in:-and take your places, ladies.

 

PHILOSTRATE
So please your grace, the Prologue is address’d.

 

THESEUS
Let him approach. 

.

PROLOGUE
If we offend, it is with our good will.
That is the true beginning of our end.
The actors are at hand; and, by their show,
You shall know all that you are like to know.
            

THESEUS
This fellow doth not stand upon points.

 

LYSANDER
He hath rid his prologue like a rough colt;

 

HIPPOLYTA
Indeed he hath play’d on his prologue like a child 
on a recorder.

 

THESEUS
Who is next?

 

PROLOGUE
Gentles, perchance you wonder at this show;
But wonder on, till truth make all things plain.

 

WALL 
In this same interlude it doth befall
That I, one Snout by name, present a wall;
And such a wall, as I would have you think,
That had in it a crannied hole or chink,
Through which the lovers, Pyramus and Thisbe,
Did whisper often very secretly.

 

THESEUS
Pyramus draws near the wall: silence!

 

PYRAMUS
O grim-look’d night! O night with hue so black!
O night, which ever art when day is not!
I fear my Thisbe’s promise is forgot!—
And thou, O wall, O sweet, O lovely wall,
That stand’st between her father’s ground and mine!
Show me thy chink, to blink through with mine eyne!.
Thanks, courteous wall: Jove shield thee well for this!
But what see I? No Thisbe do I see.
O wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss!
            

THISBE
O wall, full often hast thou heard my moans,
My cherry lips have often kiss’d thy stones. 

 

PYRAMUS
I see a voice: now will I to the chink,
To spy an I can hear my Thisbe’s face.—
Thisbe!

 

THISBE
My love! thou art my love, I think.

 

PYRAMUS
O, kiss me through the hole of this vile wall!

 

THISBE
I kiss the wall’s hole, not your lips at all. 

 

PYRAMUS
Wilt thou at Ninny’s tomb meet me straightway?

 

QUINCE [exasperated] Ninus’ Tomb!

 

THISBE
‘Tide life, ‘tide death, I come without delay.

 

WALL
Thus have I, wall, my part discharged so;
And, being done, thus wall away doth go.

 

HIPPOLYTA
This is the silliest stuff that e’er I heard.

 

THESEUS
Here come two noble beasts in, a moon and a lion.

.

LION
You, ladies may now perchance both quake 
and tremble here,
When lion rough in wildest rage doth roar.
Then know that I one 
Snug the joiner am,

 

THESEUS
A very gentle beast, and of a good conscience.
Let us listen to the moon.

 

MOONSHINE 
This lantern doth the horned moon present;
Myself the man-i’-th’-moon do seem to be.

 

HIPPOLYTA 
I am aweary of this moon. Would he would change.

 

LYSANDER
Proceed, moon.

 

MOONSHINE
All that I have to say is, to tell you that the lantern 
is the moon; I, the man-i’-th’-moon; this thorn-bush, my thorn-bush; and this dog, my dog.

 

DEMETRIUS
Here comes Thisbe.

 

THISBE
This is old Ninny’s tomb. 

 

QUINCE 

Ninus’ tomb, man!

 

THISBE
This is old Ninnies’ tomb!. Where is my love?

 

QUINCE, “Aarrrgh!” 

 

LION
O—

DEMETRIUS
Well roar’d, lion.

 

THESEUS
Well run, Thisbe.

 

HIPPOLYTA
Well shone, moon.

 

THESEUS
Well moused, lion.

 

DEMETRIUS
And then came Pyramus.

 

PYRAMUS
Sweet moon, I thank thee for thy sunny beams;
But mark, poor knight,
What dreadful dole is here!
Eyes, do you see?
How can it be?
O dainty duck! O dear!
Thy mantle good,
What, stain’d with blood?
Come, tears, confound;
Out, sword, and wound
The pap of Pyramus,—
Ay, that left pap,
Where heart doth hop: [stabs himself]
Thus die I, thus, thus.

Now am I dead,
Now am I fled;
My soul is in the sky:
Tongue, lose thy light;
Moon, take thy flight:.
Now die, die, die, die, die. (dies)

 

THESEUS
With the help of a surgeon he might yet recover, 
and yet prove an ass.

 

THISBE

Asleep, my love?
What, dead my dove?
O Pyramus, arise!
Speak, speak. Quite dumb?
Dead, dead? A tomb
Must cover thy sweet eyes.
His eyes were green as leeks.
Come, trusty sword;
Come, blade, my breast imbrue [stabs herself]
And, farewell, friends,—
Thus Thisbe ends,-
Adieu, adieu, adieu.  dies]

 

BOTTOM 
Will it please you to see the epilogue, or to hear a Bergomask dance between two of our company?

 

THESEUS
No epilogue, I pray you; for your play needs no excuse.       The iron tongue of midnight hath told twelve:
Lovers, to bed; ’tis almost fairy-time. 

 

OBERON
Now, until the break of day,
Through this house each fairy stray.
So shall all the couples three
Ever true in loving be; 

PUCK

If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,-
That you have but slumber’d here,
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
So, good night unto you all.
Give me your hands, if we be friends,

PUCK
And Robin shall restore amends!

 

ALL REPEAT

And Robin shall restore amends!

All raise arms holding hands, and bow!

Greetings!

We are having our monthly Let's Make a Scene on Wednesday July 5th from 7:30 to 8:30 PM

We will read The 30-Minute Shakespeare adaptation of this play over Zoom; be silly, overact, underact, react, act naturally,

act as if you are Judy Dench or Laurence Olivier or Bart Simpson; anything goes!

No experience necessary; just a desire for fun and play!

Here is the Zoom link:

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/84018884958?pwd=MkNtM3Y3U2ZsVDlJcXFnR1ZVWHlSQT09

Here is a link to the script in Word and PDF:

Then you can either print it out or read it on a tablet or other device!

(We will also past the script into the chat.)

Here is the text, pasted.

See you there!

Nick

Characters in the Play

 

The following is a list of the characters that appear in this cutting of Henry IV, Part 1.

 

Falstaff: Sir John Falstaff, a debauched and witty aristocrat 

Prince Henry: Also called Harry or Hal; oldest son to King Henry IV

Poins: Companion to Falstaff; gentleman-in-waiting to Prince

Gadshill: Companion to Falstaff

Bardolph: Companion to Falstaff

Peto: Companion to Falstaff

Traveler one 

Traveler two 

Hostess: Mistress Quickly, hostess of the Boar’s Head Tavern in Eastcheap Mortimer: Edmund Mortimer, Earl of March; brother to Lady Percy, husband to Lady Mortimer 

Glendower: Owen Glendower, a Welsh rebel; father to Lady Mortimer Hotspur: Henry Percy, nicknamed Hotspur; son to Earl of Northumberland Lady Mortimer: Daughter to Glendower, wife to Mortimer 

Lady Percy: Wife to Hotspur, sister to Mortimer 

King Henry IV: Father to Prince Henry; formerly Henry of Bollingbroke Earl of Douglas: Archibald, Earl of Douglas; a Scottish noble 

Lancaster: Prince John of Lancaster, also called the Duke ofLancaster; third son to King Henry IV

 

From King Henry IV, Part 2 (final scene in this cutting):

Pistol: An irregular humorist; Falstaff’s henchman 

Shallow: Robert Shallow, a country justice of the peace 

King Henry V: Formerly Prince Henry; newly crowned king 

Lord Chief-Justice: Attendant to King Henry V; nemesis of Falstaff

Attendant

Narrator 

 

Act I Scene II

 

Eastcheap. The Boar’s-Head Tavern.

 

Narrator

 

Young Prince Henry—called “Harry” or “Hal” by his friends—carouses in the tavern in Eastcheap with the fat knight Jack Falstaff and other friends, including Poins, Hal’s gentleman-in-waiting. Hal and Poins devise a plan to rob Falstaff and company of their stolen money, just for fun and mockery.

 

Falstaff

 

Now, Hal, what time of day is it, lad?

 

Prince Henry 

 

Thou art so fat-witted, with drinking of old sack that thou hast forgotten to demand that truly which thou wouldst truly know. What a devil hast thou to do with the time of the day; unless hours were cups of sack and minutes capons?

 

Falstaff

 

Marry, then, sweet wag, when thou art king, let not us that are squires of the night’s body be called thieves of the day’s beauty: let us be Diana’s foresters, gentlemen of the shade, minions of the moon.

 

Prince Henry 

 

Thou sayest well, and it holds well too; for the fortune of us that are the moon’s men doth ebb and flow like the sea, being governed, as the sea is, by the moon.

 

Falstaff 

 

Thou hast the most unsavory similes and art indeed the most comparative, rascalliest, sweet young prince, and art indeed able to corrupt a saint. Thou hast done much harm upon me, Hal; God forgive thee for it!

 

Prince Henry

 

Where shall we take a purse tomorrow, Jack?

 

Falstaff

 

’Zounds, where thou wilt, lad. Poins! 

 

Prince Henry

 

Good morrow, Ned!

 

Poins

 

Good morrow, sweet Hal. What says Monsieur Remorse?

What says Sir John Sack and Sugar?

My lads, my lads, to-morrow morning, by four o’clock, early at Gadshill! There are pilgrims going to Canterbury with rich offerings, and traders riding to London with fat purses: If you will go, I will stuff your purses full of crowns; if you will not, tarry at home and be hanged. [to Falstaff] Sir John, I prithee, leave the prince and me alone: I will lay him down such reasons for this adventure that he shall go.

 

Falstaff 

 

Farewell; you shall find me in Eastcheap.

 

Prince Henry

 

Farewell, thou latter spring! Farewell, All-hallown summer!

 

Poins

 

Now, my good sweet honey lord, ride with us tomorrow: I have a jest to execute that I cannot manage alone. Falstaff, Bardolph, Peto, and Gadshill shall rob those men that we have already waylaid: yourself and I will not be there; and when they have the booty, if you and I do not rob them, cut this  head off from my shoulders. I know them to be as true-bred cowards as ever turned back; the virtue of this jest will be, the incomprehensible lies that this same fat rogue will tell us when we meet at supper: how thirty, at least, he fought with; and in the reproof of this lies the jest.

 

Prince Henry

 

Well, I’ll go with thee.

 

Poins

 

Farewell, my lord.

 

Prince Henry

 

Herein will I imitate the sun, Who doth permit the base contagious clouds To smother up his beauty from the world, That, when he please again to be himself, Being wanted, he may be more wonder’d at, So, when this loose behavior I throw off 

And pay the debt I never promised, By how much better than my word I am, By so much shall I falsify men’s hopes; And like bright metal on a sullen ground, My reformation, glittering o’er my fault, Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes Than that which hath no foil to set it off.

I’ll so offend, to make offense a skill; Redeeming time when men think least I will.

 

Act II, Scene II

 

The highway, near Gadshill.

 

Narrator

 

Falstaff and his band of rogues rob the travelers, but their plan backfires.

 

Poins

 

Come, shelter, shelter: I have removed Falstaff’s horse, and he frets like a gummed velvet.

 

Prince Henry

 

Stand close.

 

Falstaff

 

Poins! Poins, and be hanged! Poins!

 

Prince Henry 

 

Peace, ye fat-kidneyed rascal! What a brawling dost thou keep! 

 

Falstaff

 

Where’s Poins, Hal? The rascal hath removed my horse, and tied him I know not where. A plague upon it when thieves cannot be true one to another! Give me my horse, you rogues.

 

Gadshill

 

Stand.

 

Falstaff

 

So I do, against my will.

 

Bardolph

 

There’s money of the king’s coming down the hill.

 

Prince Henry

 

Sirs, you four shall front them in the narrow lane; Ned Poins and I will walk lower: if they ’scape from your encounter, then they light on us.

 

Peto

 

How many be there of them?

 

Gadshill

 

Some eight or ten

 

Falstaff

 

’Zounds, will they not rob us?

 

Prince Henry

 

What, a coward, Sir John Paunch?

 

Falstaff

 

Indeed, I am not John of Gaunt, your grandfather; but yet no coward, Hal.

 

Prince Henry [whispering to Poins]

 

Ned, where are our disguises?

 

Poins

 

Here, hard by: stand close.

 

Falstaff

 

Now, every man to his business.

 

Traveler one

 

Come, neighbor: the boy shall lead our horses down the hill; we’ll walk afoot awhile, and ease our legs.

 

Falstaff

 

Stand!

 

Traveler two

 

Jesus bless us!

 

Falstaff

 

Strike; down with them; bacon-fed knaves! Fleece them. 

 

Traveler two

 

O, we are undone, both we and ours for ever!

 

Falstaff

 

Ye fat chuffs: on, bacons, on!

 

Prince Henry

 

The thieves have bound the true men. Now could thou and I rob the thieves and go merrily to London, it would be argument for a week, laughter for a month and a good jest for ever.

 

Poins

 

Stand close; I hear them coming.

Falstaff

 

Come, my masters, let us share.

 

Prince Henry

 

Your money!

 

Poins

 

Villains! 

 

Prince Henry

 

Got with much ease. Now merrily to horse: Falstaff lards the lean earth as he walks along: Were’t not for laughing, I should pity him.

 

Poins

 

How the rogue roar’d!

 

 Act II, Scene IV

 

Eastcheap. The Boar’s-Head Tavern.

 

Narrator

 

Prince Henry

 

Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at the door: shall we be merry?

 

Poins

 

As merry as crickets, my lad.

 

Falstaff

 

A plague of all cowards! There be four of us here have ta’en a thousand pound this day morning.

 

Prince Henry

 

Where is it, Jack? Where is it? 

 

Falstaff

 

Where is it! Taken from us it is: a hundred upon poor four of us. I have ’scaped by miracle.

I am eight times thrust through the doublet, four through the hose; my sword hacked like a handsaw—ecce signum! A plague of all cowards!

 

Prince Henry

 

Why, thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool. We two saw you four set on four and bound them, and were masters of their wealth. Then did we two set on you four; and, with a word, out-faced you from your prize, and have it; and, Falstaff, you carried your guts away with quick dexterity, and roared for mercy. What device canst thou now find out to hide thee from this shame? 

 

Poins

 

Come, let’s hear, Jack; what trick hast thou now?

 

Falstaff 

 

Why, hear you, my masters: was it for me to kill the true prince? I am as valiant as Hercules, but beware instinct. I was now a coward on instinct. I am glad you have the money.

 

Prince Henry [to Falstaff]

 

You fought fair; so did you, Peto; so did you, Bardolph:

You are lions too, you ran away upon instinct, you will not touch the true prince.

 

Bardolph

 

’Faith, I ran when I saw others run. [burps]

 

Falstaff

 

Tell me, Hal, art thou not horribly afraid?

 

Prince Henry

 

Not a whit, i’ faith; I lack some of thy instinct.

 

Falstaff

 

Well, thou wert be horribly chid tomorrow when thou comest to thy father: if thou love me, practice an answer.

 

Prince Henry 

 

Do thou stand for my father, and

examine me upon the particulars of my life. 

 

Falstaff

 

Shall I? Content: this chair shall be my state, this dagger my scepter, and this cushion my crown. Here is my speech. Stand aside, nobility.

 

Hostess

 

O Jesu, this is excellent sport, i’ faith! O, the father, how he holds his countenance! He doth it as like one of these harlotry players as ever I see!

 

Falstaff 

 

Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle-brain.

Harry, I do not only marvel where thou spendest thy time, but also the company thou keepest:

and yet there is a virtuous man whom I have often noted in thy company, but I know not his name.

 

Prince Henry

 

What manner of man, your majesty?

 

Falstaff 

 

A goodly portly man, i’ faith, and of a cheerful look, and, as I think, his age some fifty, or, by’r lady, inclining to three score; His name is Falstaff: Harry, I see virtue in his looks. Falstaff: him keep with, the rest banish.

prince Henry

 

Do thou stand for me, and I’ll play my father.

 

Falstaff

 

Depose me?

 

Prince Henry

 

Well, here I am set.

 

Falstaff

 

And here I stand: judge, my masters.

 

Prince Henry

 

Now, Harry, whence come you?

 

Falstaff 

 

My noble lord, from Eastcheap.

 

Prince Henry

 

The complaints I hear of thee are grievous.

 

Falstaff

 

’Sblood, my lord, they are false.

 

Prince Henry

 

Swearest thou, ungracious boy? Thou art violently carried away from grace: there is a devil haunts thee in the likeness of an old fat man.

Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humors, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that stuffed cloakbag of guts, with the pudding in his belly. Wherein is he good, but to taste sack and drink it? Wherein villanous, but in all things?Wherein worthy, but in nothing?

 

Falstaff

 

Whom means your grace?

 

Prince Henry

 

That villanous abominable misleader of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded Satan.

 

Falstaff 

 

My lord, the man I know.

 

Prince Henry

 

I know thou dost.

 

Falstaff

 

If to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damned: No, my good lord; banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins: but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not Henry him thy Harry’s company, banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.

 

Prince Henry

 

I do, I will.

 

Act III, Scene I

 

The Archdeacon’s house.

 

Narrator

 

Hot-headed Harry Percy—known as Hotspurtangles with the Welsh Lord Glendower as they plan to divide up the kingdom they intend to conquer.

 

Mortimer

 

These promises are fair, the parties sure, And our induction full of prosperous hope.

 

Hotspur

 

Lord Mortimer, and cousin Glendower, Will you sit down?

A plague upon it! I have forgot the map.

 

Glendower

 

No, here it is. Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur, At my birth the frame and huge foundation of the earth Shaked like a coward. 

 

Hotspur

 

O, then the earth shook to see the heavens on fire, And not in fear of your nativity.

 

Mortimer

 

Peace, cousin Percy; you will make him mad.

 

Glendower

 

Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke made head Against my power; thrice have I sent him Bootless home and weather-beaten back.

 

Hotspur

 

Home without boots, and in foul weather too!

 

Glendower

 

Come, here’s the map: shall we divide our right According to our threefold order ta’en?

 

Mortimer

 

The archdeacon hath divided it Into three limits very equally:

 

Hotspur 

 

Methinks my moiety, north from Burton here, In quantity equals not one of yours:

 

See how this river cuts me from the best of all my land.

 

It shall not wind with such a deep indent, To rob me of so rich a bottom here. 

 

Glendower

 

Not wind? It shall, it must; you see it doth.

 

Hotspur 

 

Who shall say me nay?

 

Glendower

 

Why, that will I.

Come, you shall have Trent turn’d.

 

Hotspur.

 

Are the indentures drawn? Shall we be gone?

 

Glendower

 

The moon shines fair; you may away by night.

 

Mortimer

 

Fie, cousin Percy! How you cross my father!

 

Hotspur

 

I cannot choose: sometime he angers me. O, he is as tedious as a railing wife.

 

Mortimer

 

In faith, my lord, you are too wilful-blame.

 

Hotspur

 

Well, I am school’d: Here come our wives, and let us take our leave.

Hotspur

 

Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying down:

come, quick, quick, that I may lay my head in thy lap.

 

Lady Percy

 

Go, ye giddy goose.

 

Hotspur

 

Now I perceive the devil is a good musician.

 

Lady Percy

 

Then should you be nothing but musical for you are altogether governed by humors. Lie still, ye thief, Now God help thee!

 

Hotspur

 

To the Welsh lady’s bed.

 

Lady Percy

 

What’s that? 

 

Hotspur

 

Peace. Come, Kate, I’ll have your song too.

 

Lady Percy

 

Not mine, in good sooth.

 

Glendower

 

Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are as slow As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go.

 

Act III, Scene II

 

London. The palace.

Narrator

 

Prince Hal reconciles with his father, King Henry IV, by swearing to fight the rebels and to defeat Hotspur.

 

King Henry IV

 

I know not whether God will have it so, For some displeasing service I have done, But thou dost in thy passages of life Make me believe that thou art only mark’d For the hot vengeance and the rod of heaven To punish my mistreadings. Tell me else, Could such inordinate and low desires, Such barren pleasures, rude society, As thou art match’d withal and grafted to, Accompany the greatness of thy blood And hold their level with thy princely heart?

 

Prince Henry

 

So please your majesty Find pardon on my true submission. [kneels]

 

King Henry IV

 

God pardon thee! Yet let me wonder, Harry, At thy affections, which do hold a wing Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors.

The hope and expectation of thy time Is ruin’d. Harry, thou has lost thy princely privilege With vile participation: not an eye But is a-weary of thy common sight, Save mine, which hath desired to see thee more.

 

Prince Henry 

 

I shall hereafter be more myself.

 

King Henry IV

 

For all the world Percy now leads ancient lords and reverend bishops on To bloody battles and to bruising arms.

Thrice hath this Hotspur, Mars in swathling clothes, Discomfited great Douglas, ta’en him once, And what say you to this? Percy, Northumberland, The Archbishop’s grace of York, Douglas, Mortimer, Capitulate against us and are up.

 

Prince Henry 

 

I will redeem all this on Percy’s head And in the closing of some glorious day Be bold to tell you that I am your son; For the time will come, That I shall make this northern youth exchange His glorious deeds for my indignities. This, in the name of God, I promise here:

And I will die a hundred thousand deaths Ere break the smallest parcel of this vow. 

 

King Henry IV

 

A hundred thousand rebels die in this:

Thou shalt have charge and sovereign trust herein.

 

Act V, Scene IV

 

A field between the camps.

 

Enter Narrator from stage right, coming downstage center.

 

Narrator

 

We are on the battlefield. True colors are revealed, with Hal showing bravery and loyalty, and Falstaff showing that he is, well, still a coward and a liar. (But, somehow, a loveable one!)

 

Eaerl of Douglas

 

Another king! They grow like Hydra’s heads:

I am the Douglas, fatal to all those That wear those colors on them: what art thou, That counterfeit’st the person of a king?

 

King Henry IV

 

The king himself; I will assay thee: so, defend thyself.

 

Earl of Douglas

 

I fear thou art another counterfeit; And yet, in faith, thou bear’st thee like a king: But mine I am sure thou art, whoe’er thou be, And thus I win thee. 

 

Prince Henry

 

Hold up thy head, vile Scot, it is the Prince of Wales that threatens thee. [Earl of Douglas escapes]

Cheerly, my lord how fares your grace?

 

King Henry IV

 

Stay, and breathe awhile:

 

Thou hast redeem’d thy lost opinion, And show’d thou makest some tender of my life, In this fair rescue thou hast brought to me.

 

Prince Henry

 

O God! They did me too much injury That ever said I hearken’d for your death.

 

Hotspur

 

If I mistake not, thou art Harry Monmouth. My name is Harry Percy. 

 

Prince Henry

 

I am the Prince of Wales.

 

Hotspur

 

The hour is come To end the one of us; I can no longer brook thy vanities.

 

Falstaff

 

Well said, Hal! To it Hal! Nay, you shall find no boy’s play here, I can tell you. [Falstaff falls down, pretends he is dead]

 

Hotspur

 

O, Harry, thou hast robb’d me of my youth! Percy, thou art dust And food for—

 

[Hotspur dies]. 

Prince Henry

 

For worms, brave Percy: fare thee well, great heart!

 

Prince Henry [sees Falstaff on the ground, pretending to be dead.]

 

What, old acquaintance! Could not all this flesh Keep in a little life? Poor Jack, farewell! 

 

[Exit Prince Henry]

 

[Falstaff continues to appear dead; after a few moments, he rises up suddenly.]

 

Falstaff

 

The better part of valor is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life. ’Zounds, I am afraid of this gunpowder Percy, though he be dead: how, if he should counterfeit too and rise? Therefore, sirrah,

with a new wound in your thigh, come you along with me.

 

Lancaster

 

But, soft! Whom have we here?

 

Did you not tell me this fat man was dead?

 

Prince Henry

 

I did; I saw him dead. Art thou alive?

 

Or is it fantasy that plays upon our eyesight?

 

Falstaff

 

No, that’s certain; I am not a double man: but if I be not Jack Falstaff, then am I a Jack. There is Percy. If your father will do me any honor, so; if not, let him kill the next Percy himself. I look to be either earl or duke, I can assure you.

 

Prince Henry

 

Why, Percy I killed myself and saw thee dead.

 

Falstaff

 

Didst thou? Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying! I grant you I was down and out of breath; and so was he: but we rose both at an instant and fought a long hour by Shrewsbury clock. I gave him this wound in the thigh: if the man were alive and would deny it, ’zounds, I would make him eat a piece of my sword.

 

Lancaster

 

This is the strangest tale that ever I heard.

 

Prince Henry

 

This is the strangest fellow, brother John.

 

Falstaff

 

If I do grow great, I’ll grow less; for I’ll purge, and leave sack, and live cleanly as a nobleman should do.

 

Act V, Scene 1. additional material from Henry IV, Part 2: Act V, Scene V

 

Narrator

 

Time has passed, and Hal is now King Henry V. He rejects Falstaff as part of the former life that he now renounces.

 

Falstaff

 

Stand here by me, Master Robert Shallow; I will make the king do you grace: I will leer upon him as a’ comes by; and do but mark the countenance that he will give me.

 

Pistol

 

God bless thy lungs, good knight.

 

Falstaff

 

Come here, Pistol; stand behind me. This doth show my earnestness of affection. 

 

 

Shallow

 

It doth so.

 

Falstaff

 

My devotion,—

 

Shallow

 

It doth, it doth, it doth.

 

Falstaff

 

As it were, to ride day and night; and not to deliberate, but to stand stained with travel, and sweating with desire to see him; as if there were nothing else to be done but to see him.

 

Pistol

 

There roar’d the sea, and trumpet-clangor sounds.

 

Falstaff

 

God save thy grace, King Hal! My royal Hal!

 

Pistol

 

The heavens thee guard and keep, most royal imp of fame! 

 

Falstaff

 

God save thee, my sweet boy!

 

King Henry V

 

My lord chief-justice, speak to that vain man.

Lord Chief-Justice have you your wits? Know you what ’tis to speak?

 

Falstaff

 

My king! My Jove! I speak to thee, my heart!

 

King Henry V

 

I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers.

How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!

I have long dream’d of such a kind of man, So surfeit-swell’d, so old and so profane; But, being awaked, I do despise my dream. Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:

Presume not that I am the thing I was; For God doth know, so shall the world perceive, That I have turn’d away my former self; So will I those that kept me company.

When thou dost hear I am as I have been, Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast, The tutor and the feeder of my riots:

Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death, 

Not to come near our person by ten mile. Set on.

 

Falstaff [to Shallow]

 

Master Shallow, do not you grieve at this; I shall be sent for in private to him: look you, he must seem thus to the world: this that you heard was but a color.

 

Shallow

 

A color that I fear you will die in, Sir John.

 

Falstaff

 

Fear no colors: go with me to dinner: come, Lieutenant Pistol; come, Bardolph: I shall be sent for soon at night.

 

Falstaff

 

I would ’twere bed-time, Hal, and all well.

 

[Prince Henry’s voice rings out from offstage, an echo from the past].

 

Why, thou owest God a death.

 

Falstaff

 

’Tis not due yet; I would be loath to pay him before his day. What need I be so forward with him that calls not on me? Well, ’tis no matter; honor pricks me on. Yea, but how if honor prick me off when I come on? How then? Can honor set to a leg?

 

All

 

No.

 

Falstaff

 

Or an arm?

 

All

 

No.

 

Falstaff

 

Or take away the grief of a wound?

 

All

 

No.

 

Falstaff

 

What is honor? A word. What is in that word honor?

 

All

 

Air.

 

Falstaff

 

Who hath it? He that died o’ Wednesday. Doth he feel it?

 

All

 

No.

 

Falstaff

 

’Tis insensible, then. Yea, to the dead. But will it not live with the living?

 

All

 

No

 

Falstaff

 

Why? Detraction will not suffer it. Therefore I’ll none of it.

 

A

 

Honor is a mere scutcheon.

 

Falstaff

 

And so ends my catechism.

 

all hold hands and bow! Standing ovation!

Join us for Let's Make a Scene: Hamlet on Wednesday May 24th, 2023 at 7:30 PM!

Free and fun, we will round-robin read over Zoom: Hamlet: The 30-Minute Shakespeare.

Be serious, sanguine, silly, sad, angry, depressed, insane, pedantic, evil, ghostly, be it all!

All participants receive a free emailed PDF of Hamlet: The 30-Minute Shakespeare.

Join us; no experience necessary!

Zoom link: 

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/85041676802?pwd=ZWVSbUxna2tXSFpmQkIrbHJVTUNjdz09

If you want to print out the script or

read it on a tablet here are some versions to print, copy etc.

And here is the script, pasted:

Play on!

Hamlet: The 30-Minute Shakespeare

Characters in the Play

scene 1. act i, Scene ii)

Elsinore. A room of state in the castle. 

Narrator

Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark, is grieving over his father’s death. To make matters worse, his uncle Claudius has become king by marrying Hamlet’s mother, Queen Gertrude. Then there is the matter of the ghost . 

King Claudius

Though yet of Hamlet our dear brother’s death The memory be green, our hearts in grief,  We with wisest sorrow think on him. 

Together with our sometime sister, now our queen,

Have we, with mirth in funeral and with dirge in marriage, 

Taken to wife. 

But now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son, 

How is it that the clouds still hang on you?

Hamlet 

Not so, my lord; I am too much i’ the sun.

Queen Gertrude 

Good Hamlet, cast thy nighted color off, Do not for ever with thy vailed lids 

Seek for thy noble father in the dust: 

Thou know’st ’tis common; all that lives must die, Passing through nature to eternity.

Hamlet

Ay, madam, it is common.

King Claudius

’Tis sweet and commendable in your nature, Hamlet, To give these mourning duties to your father: 

But, you must know, your father lost a father; 

That father lost, lost his: but to persever 

In obstinate condolement, ’tis a fault against the dead.  Come away.

Hamlet

O, that this too too solid flesh would melt Thaw and resolve itself into a dew! How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, Seem to me all the uses of this world! 

That it should come to this! 

But two months dead: 

So excellent a king; that was, to this, 

Hyperion to a satyr; so loving to my mother 

Frailty, thy name is woman!— Why she, even she— 

O, God! A beast, that wants discourse of reason, 

Would have mourn’d longer—married with my uncle, 

                       (addresses audience) 

My father’s brother. 

O, most wicked speed, to post 

With such dexterity to incestuous sheets! 

But break, my heart; for I must hold my tongue.

Horatio 

Hail to your lordship!

Hamlet

I am glad to see you well, Horatio.

Horatio

My lord, I came to see your father’s funeral.

Hamlet (looks upward)

My father!—Methinks I see my father.

Horatio  

Where, my lord? (haltingly, taken aback)

Hamlet

In my mind’s eye, Horatio.

Horatio 

My lord, I think I saw him yesternight.

Hamlet

The king my father! 

For God’s love, let me hear.

Horatio

Two nights together with those gentlemen, 

Marcellus and Bernardo, on our watch, In the dead vast and middle of the night, were thus encounter’d. A figure like your father, 

Armed at point exactly, 

Appears before us, and with solemn march Goes slow and stately by us:  

It lifted up its head, like as it would speak; 

But even then the morning cock crew loud, And at the sound it shrunk in haste away, And vanish’d from our sight.

Hamlet

’Tis very strange. 

I will watch to-night; Perchance ’twill walk again.

Horatio

I warrant it will.

Hamlet

So, fare you well: 

Upon the platform, ’twixt eleven and twelve, I’ll visit you.

Horatio

My duty to your honor.

Hamlet

My father’s spirit in arms! All is not well; 

Foul deeds will rise, 

Though all the earth o’erwhelm them, to men’s eyes.

 

Scene 2. Act I, Scene IV

A platform before the castle.

Narrator

On the watchmen’s platform, the ghost of the former king, Hamlet’s father, appears to give Hamlet disturbing news.

Hamlet

The air bites shrewdly; it is very cold.

Horatio

Look, my lord, it comes!

Enter Ghost

Hamlet

Angels and ministers of grace defend us! 

Bring with thee airs from heaven or blasts from hell, King, father: O, answer me!

Horatio

It beckons you to go away with it.

Hamlet

Then I will follow it.

Horatio

Do not, my lord.

Hamlet

My fate cries out, I’ll follow thee.

Horatio

Something is rotten in the state of Denmark.

 

Scene 3. Act I, Scene V

Another part of the platform.

Hamlet 

Where wilt thou lead me? Speak; I’ll go no further.

Ghost

I am thy father’s spirit, 

Doom’d for a certain term to walk the night, 

And for the day confined to fast in fires, Till the foul crimes done in my days of nature Are burnt and purged away. List, list, O, list! 

If thou didst ever thy dear father love—

Hamlet

O God!

Ghost

Revenge his foul and most unnatural murder.

Hamlet

Murder!

Ghost

Now, Hamlet, hear: Sleeping in my orchard, A serpent stung me. 

The serpent that did sting thy father’s life Now wears his crown.

Hamlet

O my prophetic soul! My uncle!

Ghost

Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast, 

Won to his shameful lust 

The will of my most seeming-virtuous queen: 

Sleeping within my orchard, 

Thy uncle stole, 

With juice of cursed hebenon in a vial, 

And in the porches of my ears did pour 

The leperous distilment; 

Thus was I, sleeping, by a brother’s hand Of life, of crown, of queen, at once dispatch’d: 

O, horrible! Most horrible! 

Adieu, adieu! Hamlet, remember me.

Hamlet 

Remember thee! 

Ay, thou poor ghost, while memory holds a seat In this distracted globe. 

O most pernicious woman! Smiling, damned villain!

Hamlet

Give me one poor request, Horatio.

Horatio 

What is’t, my lord? I will.

Hamlet 

Never make known what you have seen to-night.

Horatio  

My lord, I will not.

Ghost Swear.

Horatio

O day and night, but this is wondrous strange!

Ghost (offstage) Swear.

Hamlet

Rest, rest, perturbed spirit!

Let us go in together; 

And still your fingers on your lips, I pray. The time is out of joint: O cursed spite, That ever I was born to set it right!

.

Scene 4. Act II Scene II

A room in the castle.

Narrator

A traveling acting troupe arrives at Elsinore; Hamlet decides to have the players act out his father’s murder. (emphatically) The play’s the thing.

Hamlet

I’ll have the players 

Play something like the murder of my father 

Before mine uncle:  

I’ll observe his looks; 

If he but blench, I know my course. 

The play’s the thing 

Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the king.

Scene 5. Act III Scene I

A room in the castle.

Narrator

Hamlet and Ophelia, the daughter of King Claudius’s chief officer Polonius, have recently confessed their affection for each other. But when Ophelia’s father, bound by the king to spy on Hamlet, orders Ophelia to return Hamlet’s love letters, the prince’s vicious and unhinged reaction upsets her greatly.

Ophelia:

My lord, I have remembrances of yours, That I have longed long to

re-deliver; I pray you, now receive them.

Hamlet

No, not I; 

I never gave you aught.

Ophelia

My honor’d lord, you know right well you did; 

And, with them, words of so sweet breath composed 

As made the things more rich: their perfume lost, Take these again; for to the noble mind 

Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind. There, my lord.

.

Hamlet

I did love you once.

Ophelia

Indeed, my lord, you made me believe so.

Hamlet

You should not have believed me; I loved you not.

Ophelia

I was the more deceived.

Hamlet) 

Get thee to a nunnery: why wouldst thou be a breeder of sinners? Or, if thou wilt needs marry, marry a fool; for wise men know well enough what monsters you make of them. (points again)To a nunnery, go, and quickly too. Farewell. 

Ophelia

O heavenly powers, restore him!

Hamlet 

God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another. Go to, I’ll no more on’t; it hath made me mad. I say, we will have no more marriages. To a nunnery, go.

Ophelia

O, what a noble mind is here o’erthrown! 

I see that noble and most sovereign reason, 

Like sweet bells jangled, out of tune and harsh;  O, woe is me, to have seen what I have seen,           see what I see! 

 

Scene 6. Act III Scene II

A hall in the castle.

Hamlet

Horatio, there is a play to-night before the king; One scene of it comes near the circumstance Which I have told thee of my father’s death: 

Give him heedful note; 

For I mine eyes will rivet to his face, And after we will both our judgments join In censure of his seeming.

Horatio

Well, my lord.

Hamlet

They are coming to the play; I must be idle: 

Get you a place..

Queen Gertrude 

Come hither, my dear Hamlet, sit by me.

Hamlet 

No, good mother, here’s metal more attractive. 

The Players begin their show. Enter a king and a queen very lovingly; the queen embracing him, and he her. She bows to him. He takes her up, and declines his head upon her neck: he lies down upon a bank of flowers: she, seeing him asleep, leaves him. Anon comes in a fellow, takes off his crown, kisses it, and pours poison in the king’s ears, and exit. The queen returns; finds the king dead, and mourns in anguish. The poisoner, comes in again, seeming to lament with her. The dead body stays dead. The poisoner woos the queen with gifts: she seems loath and unwilling awhile, but in the end accepts his love.

Ophelia ( 

What means this, my lord?

Hamlet

It means mischief.

King Claudius  

What do you call the play?

Hamlet

The Mouse-trap

 

Ophelia

The king rises.

Hamlet

What, frighted with false fire!

Queen Gertrude

How fares my lord?

King Claudius

Give me some light: away!

All

Lights, lights, lights!

Hamlet

O good Horatio, I’ll take the ghost’s word for a thousand pound. Didst perceive?

Horatio

Very well, my lord.

Hamlet 

Upon the show of the poisoning?

Horatio

I did very well note him.

Hamlet

I will come to my mother by and by.  Leave me, friend.’Tis now the very witching time of night, When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out Contagion to this world. Soft! Now to my mother.

 

 Scene 7. Act III Scene IV

The Queen’s closet.

Narrator

Hamlet confronts his mother, resulting in a bloody deed involving Ophelia’s father, Lord Polonius; the Ghost returns.

Polonius

He will come straight.  

Tell him his pranks have been too broad to bear with. I’ll sconce me even here. 

Hamlet Mother, mother, mother!

Queen Gertrude

Withdraw, I hear him coming.

.Hamlet 

Now, mother, what’s the matter?

Queen Gertrude

Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended.

Hamlet

Mother, you have my father much offended.

Queen Gertrude 

Come, come, you answer with an idle tongue.

Hamlet

Go, go, you question with a wicked tongue.

Hamlet

How now! A rat? Dead, for a ducat, dead!

Hamlet finds Polonius behind the pillar and stabs him with  his sword.

Lord Polonius

 O! 

Queen Gertrude 

O me, what hast thou done?

Hamlet

Is it the king?

Queen Gertrude

O, what a rash and bloody deed is this!

Hamlet

Almost as bad as kill a king, and marry with his brother.

Queen Gertrude 

As kill a king!

Hamlet 

Ay Lady, ’twas my word.

Hamlet

Thou wretched, rash, intruding fool, farewell! I took thee for thy better: 

Ghost

Do not forget: this visitation 

Is but to whet thy almost blunted purpose. But, look, amazement on thy mother sits:  

           Speak to her, Hamlet.

Hamlet Do you see nothing there?

Queen Gertrude

Nothing at all..

Hamlet 

Why, look you there!  

My father!

Queen Gertrude

This the very coinage of your brain:

Hamlet  

It is not madness

Confess yourself to heaven; avoid what is to come.

Queen Gertrude (disconsolate) 

O Hamlet, thou hast cleft my heart in twain. 

Hamlet

O, throw away the worser part of it, 

And live the purer with the other half.

Scene 8. Act IV Scene V

Elsinore. A room in the castle.

Narrator

Tragic events have had their effect on Ophelia.

Ophelia

Where is the beauteous majesty of Denmark?

Queen Gertrude

How now, Ophelia!

Ophelia (singing) 

He is dead and gone, lady, 

He is dead and gone; 

At his head a grass-green turf, At his heels a stone.

.

King Claudius

How do you, pretty lady?

Ophelia (singing) 

To-morrow is Saint Valentine’s day, 

All in the morning betime, 

And I a maid at your window, To be your Valentine.

. King Claudius

 How long hath she been thus? 

Ophelia

I cannot choose but weep, to think they should lay him i’ the cold ground. My brother shall know of it. 

Ophelia.

Come, my coach!

Good night, ladies; good night, sweet ladies; good night, good night. 

. King Claudius 

O, this is the poison of deep grief; it springs 

All from her father’s death. Poor Ophelia 

Divided from herself and her fair judgment.

Laertes

Where is this king? O thou vile king, Where is my father?

King Claudius 

Dead. 

Laertes

How came he dead? I’ll not be juggled with: 

To hell, allegiance! Vows, to the blackest devil! 

I’ll be revenged most thoroughly for my father. 

King Claudius  

I am guiltless of your father’s death, And am most sensible in grief for it.

Laertes 

How now! What noise is that?

[Re-enter Ophelia from stage right, disheveled and with hair  a mess.]

O heat, dry up my brains! 

By heaven, thy madness shall be paid by weight. 

O rose of May! 

Dear maid, kind sister, sweet Ophelia! 

Ophelia [singing] 

And will he not come again? 

And will he not come again? 

No, no, he is dead: 

Go to thy death-bed: 

He never will come again.

Laertes  

Do you see this, O God?

King Claudius 

Where the offense is let the great axe fall. I pray you, go with me.

Scene 9. Act V, Scene II additional  Material from Act III Scene I

A hall in the castle.

Narrator

Hamlet and Laertes duel. Poison is involved. I do not predict a 

Hamlet

There’s a divinity that shapes our ends, 

Rough-hew them how we will,—

Horatio

That is most certain.

Hamlet 

Is’t not perfect conscience, 

To quit him with this arm? 

Horatio

Peace! Who comes here?

Osric 

Your lordship is right welcome back to Denmark.

Hamlet

I humbly thank you, sir. 

Osric

My lord, his majesty bade me signify to you that he has laid a great wager on your head: Here is newly come to court Laertes. The king, sir, hath laid, that in a dozen passes between yourself and him, he shall not exceed you three hits.

Hamlet

Let the foils be brought, the gentleman willing, and the king hold his purpose, I will win for him. 

 

Osric 

The king and queen and all are coming down.

Horatio

You will lose this wager, my lord.

Hamlet

There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. The readiness is all.

King Claudius 

Come, Hamlet, come, and take this hand from me.

Hamlet

Give me your pardon, sir: I’ve done you wrong; I here proclaim was madness.

Laertes

I stand aloof; and will no reconcilement.

King Claudius 

Give them the foils, young Osric. 

Laertes

This is too heavy, let me see another. 

King Claudius 

The king shall drink to Hamlet’s better breath; Come, begin.

Laertes

Come, my lord.

Hamlet

One.

Laertes

No.                                                         

Hamlet

Judgment.

Osric

A hit, a very palpable hit.

Laertes 

Well; again.

King Claudius 

Stay; give me drink. Hamlet, this pearl is thine; Here’s to thy health.

Hamlet

I’ll play this bout first; set it by awhile. Come.

Another hit; what say you? 

Laertes

A touch, a touch, I do confess.

Queen Gertrude 

The queen carouses to thy fortune, Hamlet.

Hamlet

Good madam!

King Claudius 

Gertrude, do not drink.

Queen Gertrude 

I will, my lord; I pray you, pardon me.

King Claudius

It is the poison’d cup: it is too late. 

Hamlet

I dare not drink yet, madam; by and by.

Laertes

Have at you now!

Queen Gertrude [falls.]

Horatio

They bleed on both sides. How is it, my lord?

Osric

How is’t, Laertes? 

Laertes

I am justly kill’d with mine own treachery.

Hamlet

How does the queen?

King Claudius 

She swounds to see them bleed.

Queen gertrude 

No, no, the drink, the drink,—O my dear Hamlet,— The drink, the drink! I am poison’d.

Queen Gertrude [dies.]

Hamlet O villany! Let the door be lock’d: Treachery! Seek it out. 

Laertes

It is here, Hamlet: Hamlet, thou art slain; 

The treacherous instrument is in thy hand, envenom’d: 

Thy mother’s poison’d: The king’s to blame.

Hamlet 

The point!—Envenom’d too! 

Then, venom, to thy work.

[Hamlet stabs King Claudius]. 

king Claudius 

O, yet defend me, friends; I am but hurt.

Hamlet

Here, thou incestuous, murderous, damned Dane, Drink off this potion. Is thy union here? 

Follow my mother.

King Claudius [dies.]

Laertes

He is justly served; 

Exchange forgiveness with me, noble Hamlet: Mine and my father’s death come not upon thee, Nor thine on me.

laertes [dies.]

Hamlet

Heaven make thee free of it! I follow thee. 

I am dead, Horatio. Wretched queen, adieu! 

Horatio, I am dead; 

Thou livest; report me and my cause aright To the unsatisfied. 

If thou didst ever hold me in thy heart In this harsh world draw thy breath in pain, To tell my story. 

O, I die, Horatio; 

The potent poison quite o’er-crows my spirit: 

The rest is silence.

hamlet [dies

Horatio

Now cracks a noble heart. Good night sweet prince: 

And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest!

All start to gather onstage.

Actor 1

To be, or not to be: that is the question:

Actor 2

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer 

The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,

Actor 3

Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? 

All

To die: to sleep; No more; 

Actor4   and by a sleep to say we end 

The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks That flesh is heir to,

Actor 5

’tis a consummation 

Devoutly to be wish’d. 

All

To die, to sleep;

Actor 6

To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there’s the rub;

Actor 7

For in that sleep of death what dreams may come When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,

All

Must give us pause: 

Actor 8   There’s the respect 

That makes calamity of so long life;

All

Thus conscience does make cowards of us all;

Actor 9

And thus the native hue of resolution 

Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,

 

ALL hold hands and take a bow

To Thunderous applause!