The30MinuteShakespeare

CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting of

The Comedy of Errors.

Twenty-six actors performed in the original production. This number can be increased to about thirty or decreased toabout twelve by having actors share or double roles.

For the full breakdown of characters, see Sample Program.

DUKE SOLINUS: Duke of Ephesus EGEON: A merchant of Syracuse YOUNG EGEON

JAILER

FIRST MERCHANT

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE DROMIO OF EPHESUS DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Twin brothers, and sons to Egeon and Emilia

Twin brothers, and bondsmen to the two Antipholuses

ADRIANA: Wife to Antipholus of Ephesus

LUCIANA: Her sister ANGELO: A goldsmith SECOND MERCHANT

EMILIA: Wife to Egeon, an abbess at Ephesus

SERVANT NARRATORS

✴ SCENE 1. (ACT I, SCENE I)

A hall in Duke Solinus’s palace.

Stagehands set throne at an angle stage right, downstage of pillars, then set chair stage left, downstage of pillars andslightly facing throne.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Our play begins with Egeon sentenced to death for trespassing in Ephesus. He explains to the Duke how he became separated from his wife and two sets of twins.

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter DUKE SOLINUS, EGEON, and JAILER from stage right. DUKE SOLINUS sits in throne. JAILER enters with EGEON in cuffs and stands center stage, facing EGEON, who is slightly downstage.

EGEON

Proceed, Solinus, to procure my fall

And by the doom of death end woes and all.

DUKE SOLINUS

Merchant of Syracuse, plead no more; I am not partial to infringe our laws: Again: if any Syracusian born

Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,

2 ✴ THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

Unless a thousand marks be levied, Therefore by law thou art condemned to die.

EGEON

Yet this my comfort: when your words are done, My woes end likewise with the evening sun.

DUKE SOLINUS

Well, Syracusian, say in brief the cause Why thou departed’st from thy native home

And for what cause thou camest to Ephesus.

EGEON

In Syracusa was I born, and wed Unto a woman, happy but for me,

A joyful mother of two goodly sons;

And, which was strange, the one so like the other, As could not be distinguish’d but by names.

Enter EGEON’S WIFE and SONS from stage rear. The SONS stand on either side of their mother, upstage right.

That very hour, and in the self-same inn, A meaner woman was delivered

Of such a burden, male twins, both alike:

Enter TWINS from stage rear, moving upstage left.

Those,—for their parents were exceeding poor,— I bought and brought up to attend my sons.

Enter YOUNG EGEON from stage rear. ALL move toward center, remaining upstage.

A league from Epidamnum had we sail’d, Before the always wind-obeying deep

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS ✴ 3

Gave doubtful warrant of immediate death; The sailors sought for safety by our boat, And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us: My wife, more careful for the latter-born, Had fasten’d him unto a small spare mast, To him one of the other twins was bound,

EGEON’S WIFE affixes one of her sons and one of the adopted twins to the right side of a long pole.

Whilst I had been like heedful of the other:

YOUNG EGEON affixes the other of his sons and the other adopted twin to the left side of the pole.

The children thus disposed, my wife and I, Fasten’d ourselves at either end the mast;

EGEON’S WIFE affixes herself to right side of pole, as YOUNG EGEON

affixes himself to the left.

We were encounterd by a mighty rock; Our helpful ship was splitted inthe midst. Her part, poor soul

Was carried with more speed before the wind.

The pole splits in half and the two groups exit the stage on their respective sides.

Thus have you heard me sever’d from my bliss; And happy were I in my timely death,

Could all my travels warrant me they live.

DUKE SOLINUS (stands)

Hapless Egeon, whom the fates have mark’d To bear the extremity of dire mishap!

But, though thou art adjudged to the death

4 ✴ THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

Yet I will favor thee in what I can. (motions for

JAILER to unshackle EGEON)

Therefore, merchant, I’ll limit thee this day; Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum, And live; if no, then thou art doom’d to die. Jailer, take him to thy custody.

JAILER

I will, my lord.

EGEON

Hopeless and helpless doth Egeon wend, But to procrastinate his lifeless end.

Exit DUKE SOLINUS stage left. EGEON and JAILER follow.

STAGEHANDS remove throne and chair, set bench downstage center.

✴ SCENE 2. (ACT I, SCENE II)

The Mart.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Antipholus of Syracuse and his servant, Dromio of Syracuse, have traveled to Ephesus in search of their long lost twin brothers and their mother. Antipholus gives money to Dromio of Syracuse. Dromio’s twin, Dromio ofEphesus, returns, and the confusion begins!

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE, DROMIO OF SYRACUSE, and

FIRST MERCHANT from stage right. All stand in front of bench, with ANTIPHOLUS center, DROMIO to his right, andFIRST MERCHANT to his left.

FIRST MERCHANT

Therefore give out you are of Epidamnum; This very day a Syracusian merchant

Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. There is your money that I had to keep.

(hands bag of money to DROMIO)

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Many a man would take you at your word, And go indeed, having so good a mean.

6 ✴ THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (to DROMIO)

Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host, And stay there, Dromio, till I come tothee. Within this hour it will be dinner-time: Get thee away.

Exit DROMIO OF SYRACUSE stage right.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (to FIRST MERCHANT)

A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,

When I am dull with care and melancholy, Lightens my humor with his merry jests.

FIRST MERCHANT

Sir, I commend you to your own content.

Exit FIRST MERCHANT stage left.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (walks downstage center)

He that commends me to mine own content Commends me to the thing I cannot get.

I to the world am like a drop of water That in the ocean seeks another drop, Who, falling there tofind his fellow forth, Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself: So I, to find a mother and a brother,

In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself.

Enter DROMIO OF EPHESUS from stage right.

Here comes the almanac of my true date.

What now? How chance thou art return’d so soon?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

Return’d so soon! Rather approach’d too late: My mistress made it one upon my cheek:

THE COMEDY OF ERRORS ✴ 7

She is so hot because the meat is cold;

The meat is cold because you come not home.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Stop in your wind, sir: tell me this, I pray: Where have you left the money thatI gave you?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness, And tell me how thou hastdisposed thy charge.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

My charge was but to fetch you from the mart Home to your house, thePhoenix, sir, to dinner: My mistress and her sister stays for you.

(gestures toward stage right)

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face, Being forbid? There, take youthat, sir knave.

(beats DROMIO with his hat)

DROMIO OF EPHESUS (covers face with hands and sinks to knees)

What mean you, sir? For God’s sake, hold your hands!

ANTIPHOLUS keeps hitting him; DROMIO is now lying on his back on the floor.

Nay, and you will not, sir, I’ll take my heels.

Exit DROMIO OF EPHESUS stage right. ANTIPHOLUS throws his hat after him.

8 ✴ THE COMEDY OF ERRORS

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Upon my life, by some device or other The villain is o’er-raught of all my money. I’ll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave:

I greatly fear my money is not safe.

Exit ANTIPHOLUS stage right.

STAGEHANDS move bench to center stage, setting it at an angle facing stage right.

✴ SCENE 3. (ACT II, SCENE II)

Outside of Antipholus of Ephesus’s house.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Now Dromio of Syracuse, our first Dromio, comes back and has no idea why Antipholus of Syracuse thinks he was just there. They wind up at the house of Adriana, who thinks Antipholus of Syracuse is actually Antipholus of Ephesus,her husband and his twin—who we haven’t met yet. Confused? Good! So are they!

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE from stage rear; he stands in front of bench.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up

Safe at the Centaur; I could not speak with Dromio since at first

I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.

Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE from stage right.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

How now sir! Is your merry humor alter’d? Jest with me again. You received no gold?

Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

I did not see you since you sent me hence, with the gold you gave me.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Think’st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.

(beats DROMIO with his hat)

ANTIPHOLUS chases DROMIO around the bench.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

But, I pray, sir why am I beaten?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

For flouting me.

ANTIPHOLUS chases DROMIO again, hitting him with his hat. The chase ends with both sitting on the bench.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Well, sir, I thank you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Thank me, sir, for what?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.

Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA from stage right. As ADRIANA

approaches ANTIPHOLUS, DROMIO gets up and stands behind bench.

ADRIANA

Ay, ay, Antipholus, look strange and frown: Some other mistress hath thysweet aspects; I am not Adriana nor thy wife.

ADRIANA grabs ANTIPHOLUS’S arm; he moves farther down the bench, and ADRIANA falls onto it.

Ah, do not tear away thyself from me!

For know, my love, as easy mayest thou fall A drop of water in the breaking gulf,

And take unmingled that same drop again, Without addition or diminishing,

As take from me thyself and not me too. (stands) How dearly would it touch me to the quick, Shouldst thou but hear I were licentious Wouldst thou not spit at me and spurn at me And hurl the name of husband in my face

And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring I know thou canst; and therefore see thou do it.

ADRIANA walks downstage center and addresses the audience.

I am possess’d with an adulterate blot;

My blood is mingled with the crime of lust: (sits again on bench, but not directly next to ANTIPHOLUS)

For if we two be one and thou play false, I do digest the poison of thy flesh,

Being strumpeted by thy contagion.

ADRIANA turns her back to ANTIPHOLUS and pauses. She looks over her shoulder at him and sees he is bewildered.She softens, moves back toward him on the bench, and holds his hand. He allows her to do it but remains confused.

Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed; I live distain’d, thou undishonored.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (lets go of her hand and stands)

Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not.

LUCIANA

Fie, brother! How the world is changed with you! When were you wont to use my sister thus?

She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

By Dromio?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

By me?

ADRIANA

By thee.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (to DROMIO)

How can she thus then call us by our names, Unless it be by inspiration?

ADRIANA (stands, faces ANTIPHOLUS)

How ill agrees it with your gravity

To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Abetting him to thwart me in my mood!

(tries a gentler approach, holding his arm) Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine: Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (walks downstage center,

addressing audience)

To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme: What, was I married to her in my dream?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (walks downstage center, addressing audience)

This is the fairy land: O spite of spites! We talk with goblins, owls and sprites.

LUCIANA

Why pratest thou to thyself and answer’st not? Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug,thou sot!

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE (to ANTIPHOLUS)

I am transformed, master; I am an ape.

LUCIANA

If thou art changed to aught, ’tis to an ass.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

’Tis true; she rides me and I long for grass. ’Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be

But I should know her as well as she knows me.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? Sleeping or waking? Mad or well-advised? Known unto these, and to myself disguised! I’ll say as they say and persever so,

And in this mist at all adventures go.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Master, shall I be porter at the gate?

ADRIANA takes DROMIO by the ear and leads him stage right.

ADRIANA

Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.

LUCIANA

Come, come, Antipholus, we dine too late.

Exit ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and ANTIPHOLUS stage rear. DROMIO looks to stage right entrance, looks to audience,shrugs, and exits stage right.

✴ SCENE 4. (ACT III, SCENE II)

Outside of Antipholus of Ephesus’s house.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Meanwhile, Antipholus of Syracuse falls for Luciana, who is the sister of Antipholus of Ephesus’s wife, Adriana, who thinks this Antipholus is her husband, but he isn’t. Are you following this? Don’t worry about it. Neither are they.

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE from stage left. They stand in front of bench.

LUCIANA

And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband’s office? Shall, Antipholus,

Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? Muffie your false love with some show of blindness: Let not my sister read it in your eye;

Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife: ’Tis holy sport to be a little vain,

When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife.

(sits on downstage side of bench)

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe

Far more, far more to you do I decline.

(sits next to LUCIANA on bench)

LUCIANA hesitates, enjoying the closeness, then turns to look at

ANTIPHOLUS. She stands and backs away a step.

LUCIANA

What, are you mad, that you do reason so?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Not mad, but mated; how, I do not know.

(stands; steps toward LUCIANA)

LUCIANA

Why call you me love? Call my sister so. (steps back)

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Call thyself sister, sweet, for I am thee. Thee will I love and with theelead my life: Thou hast no husband yet nor I no wife. Give me thy hand.

ANTIPHOLUS takes a final step toward LUCIANA and takes her hand. He pauses.

LUCIANA

O, soft, sir! Hold you still: (lets go of his hand; turns away)

I’ll fetch my sister, to get her good will.

Exit LUCIANA stage left.

Enter DROMIO OF SYRACUSE from stage left, running and out of breath.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Why, how now, Dromio! Where runn’st thou so fast?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

I am an ass, I am a woman’s man and besides myself.

(steps to the side; looks behind him)

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (interested and amused)

What woman’s man? What is she?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

She’s the kitchen wench and all grease; (looks stage left) She is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her. This drudge, or diviner, laid claim to me, call’d me Dromio;swore I was assured to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mole in myneck, the great wart on my left arm, that I amazed ran from her as a witch.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (to DROMIO, in a stage whisper)

Go hie thee presently, post to the road: I will not harbor in this town to-night:

If every one knows us and we know none,

’Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack and be gone.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

As from a bear a man would run for life, So fly I from her that would be my wife.

Exit DROMIO OF SYRACUSE stage right.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

There’s none but witches do inhabit here; But, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong,

I’ll stop mine ears against the mermaid’s song.

Enter ANGELO from stage right, holding a chain.

ANGELO

Master Antipholus,—

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (startled)

Ay, that’s my name.

ANGELO (pause)

I know it well, sir, lo, here is the chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE (pause)

What is your will that I shall do with this?

ANGELO (pause)

What please yourself, sir: I have made it for you.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not.

ANGELO

Not once, nor twice, but twenty times you have. Go home with it and please your wife withal; And soon at supper-time I’ll visit you

And then receive my money for the chain.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I pray you, sir, receive the money now,

For fear you ne’er see chain nor money more.

ANGELO (pause)

You are a merry man, sir: fare you well.

Exit ANGELO stage right.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

What I should think of this, I cannot tell:

I’ll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay If any ship put out, then straight away.

Exit ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE stage right.

STAGEHANDS remove bench.

✴ SCENE 5. (ACT V, SCENE I)

A street before a Priory.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Meanwhile, Angelo the goldsmith has met Antipholus of Syracuse’s twin,Antipholus of Ephesus, who has denied ever receiving a chain. Antipholus ofEphesus finally shows up, furious that he has been locked out of his house and abused. There is more confusion! We are praying for a happy ending!

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter SECOND MERCHANT and ANGELO from stage right.

ANGELO

I am sorry, sir, that I have hinder’d you; But, I protest, he had the chain of me, Though most dishonestly he doth deny it.

SECOND MERCHANT

Speak softly; yonder, as I think, he walks.

ANGELO and SECOND MERCHANT hide behind stage right pillar. Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE from

stage right.

ANGELO (stage whispers)

’Tis so; and that self chain about his neck Which he forswore mostmonstrously to have. Good sir, draw near to me, I’ll speak to him.

(raises voice)

Signior Antipholus,

This chain you had of me; can you deny it?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I think I had; I never did deny it.

SECOND MERCHANT

Yes, that you did, sir, and forswore it too.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Thou art a villain to impeach me thus: I’ll prove mine honor and mine honesty

Against thee presently, if thou darest stand.

SECOND MERCHANT

I dare, and do defy thee for a villain.

They draw swords and prepare to fight. Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA from stage right.

ADRIANA

Hold, hurt him not, for God’s sake! He is mad. Some get within him, take his sword away: Bind Dromio too, and bear them to my house.

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

Run, master, run; for God’s sake, take a house! This is some priory. In, or we are spoil’d!

Exit ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and DROMIO OF SYRACUSE stage

rear.

Enter EMILIA, the Abbess, from stage rear.

EMILIA

Be quiet, people. Wherefore throng you hither?

ADRIANA

To fetch my poor distracted husband hence. Let us come in, that we may bind him fast.

ADRIANA tries to exit stage rear into the Priory, but EMILIA blocks her way, no matter which path she tries.

EMILIA

No, not a creature enters in my house. He took this place for sanctuary.

Therefore depart and leave him here with me.

ADRIANA

I will not hence and leave my husband here: And ill it doth beseem your holiness

To separate the husband and the wife.

EMILIA

Be quiet and depart: thou shalt not have him.

Exit EMILIA stage rear.

SOUND OPERATOR plays Sound Cue #1 (“Fanfare”).

Enter DUKE SOLINUS and EGEON from stage right. EGEON stands in front of stage left pillar, his wrists bound by rope.

LUCIANA

Complain unto the duke of this indignity.

DUKE SOLINUS

Yet once again proclaim it publicly,

If any friend will pay the sum for him, He shall not die; so much we tender him.

ADRIANA (bows to DUKE SOLINUS)

Justice, most sacred duke, against the abbess!

DUKE SOLINUS

She is a virtuous and a reverend lady:

It cannot be that she hath done thee wrong.

ADRIANA

May it please your grace, Antipholus, my husband,

This ill day, a most outrageous fit of madness took him;

That desperately he hurried through the street, With him his bondman, all as mad as he—

Then they fled into this abbey, whither we pursued them:

And here the abbess shuts the gates on us.

DUKE SOLINUS

Go, some of you, knock at the abbey-gate And bid the lady abbess come to me.

I will determine this before I stir.

Enter SERVANT from stage right.

SERVANT

O mistress, mistress, shift and save yourself! My master and his man are both brokeloose,

ADRIANA

Peace, fool! Thy master and his man are here, And that is false thou dost report to us.

SERVANT

Mistress, upon my life, I tell you true.

Enter ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS and DROMIO OF EPHESUS from

stage right.

ADRIANA

Ay me, it is my husband! Witness you, That he is borne about invisible:

Even now we housed him in the abbey here;

And now he’s there, past thought of human reason.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS (bows)

Justice, most gracious duke, O, grant me justice!

EGEON (steps forward, addressing audience)

Unless the fear of death doth make me dote, I see my son Antipholus and Dromio.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Justice, sweet princess, against that woman there! She whom thou gavest to me to be my wife, Beyond imagination is the wrong

That she this day hath shameless thrown on me.

DUKE SOLINUS (stands, with ANTIPHOLUS to his right and

ADRIANA and LUCIANA to his left)

Discover how, and thou shalt find me just.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

This day, great duke, she shut the doors upon me, While she with harlots feasted in my house.

(points stage left)

DUKE SOLINUS

A grievous fault! Say, woman, didst thou so?

ADRIANA

No, my good lord: myself, he and my sister To-day did dine together.

DUKE SOLINUS

Saw’st thou him enter at the abbey here?

ADRIANA

As sure, my liege, as I do see your grace.

DUKE SOLINUS

Why, this is strange. Go call the abbess hither. I think you are all mated or stark mad.

Exit LUCIANA stage rear.

EGEON

Most mighty duke, vouchsafe me speak a word:

(bows)

Haply I see a friend will save my life And pay the sum that may deliver me.

DUKE SOLINUS

Speak freely, Syracusian, what thou wilt.

EGEON (approaches ANTIPHOLUS)

Is not your name, sir, call’d Antipholus? And is not that your bondman,Dromio?

Why look you strange on me? You know me well.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I never saw you in my life till now.

EGEON

O, grief hath changed me since you saw me last, And careful hours with time’s deformed hand

Have written strange defeatures in my face: But tell me yet, dost thou not know my voice?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

Neither.

EGEON

Dromio, nor thou?

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

No, trust me, sir, nor I.

EGEON (steps downstage center, addressing audience)

Not know my voice! O time’s extremity,

Hast thou so crack’d and splitted my poor tongue In seven short years, that here my only son Knows not my feeble key of untuned cares?

(turns toward ANTIPHOLUS)

Tell me thou art my son Antipholus.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

I never saw my father in my life.

EGEON, devastated, stumbles back toward stage left and almost collapses from dismay.

Enter EMILIA from stage rear with ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE and

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE.

EMILIA

Most mighty duke, behold a man much wrong’d.

ALL gather to look at the men.

ADRIANA

I see two husbands, or mine eyes deceive me.

DUKE SOLINUS

One of these men is Genius to the other; And so of these. Which is the natural man, And which the spirit? Who deciphers them?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

I, sir, am Dromio; command him away.

DROMIO OF EPHESUS

I, sir, am Dromio; pray, let me stay.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

Egeon art thou not? Or else his ghost?

DROMIO OF SYRACUSE

O, my old master! Who hath bound him here?

(indignant)

EMILIA

Whoever bound him, I will loose his bonds

(she unties EGEON’S wrists)

And gain a husband by his liberty. Speak, old Egeon, if thou be’st the man That hadst a wife once call’d Emilia

That bore thee at a burden two fair sons: O, if thou be’st the same Egeon, speak, And speak unto the same Emilia!

EGEON

If I dream not, thou art Emilia:

If thou art she, tell me where is that son That floated with thee on the fatal raft?

EMILIA

What then became of them I cannot tell (pauses)

I to this fortune that you see me in.

DUKE SOLINUS

Why, here begins his morning story right; These two Antipholuses, these two so like, And these two Dromios, one in semblance,— These are the parents to these children, Which accidentally are met together.

ADRIANA

Which of you two did dine with me to-day?

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I, gentle mistress.

ADRIANA

And are not you my husband?

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

No; I say nay to that.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

And so do I; yet did she call me so:

And this fair gentlewoman, her sister here, Did call me brother. (to LUCIANA)

What I told you then,

I hope I shall have leisure to make good; If this be not a dream I see and hear.

ANGELO

That is the chain, sir, which you had of me.

ANTIPHOLUS OF SYRACUSE

I think it be, sir; I deny it not.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

And you, sir, for this chain arrested me.

ANGELO

I think I did, sir; I deny it not.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESUS

These ducats pawn I for my father here.

ANTIPHOLUS OF EPHESEUS offers a bag of money to DUKE SOLINUS, but the DUKE refuses it.

DUKE SOLINUS

It shall not need; thy father hath his life.

EMILIA

Thirty-three years have I but gone in travail Of you, my sons; and till this present hour My heavy burden ne’er delivered.

The rest of the cast and crew start to enter from stage right, left, and rear, as if the news has spread through thetown and they are coming to witness the twins and the reunion of the long lost family.

The duke, my husband and my children both, And you the calendars of their nativity,

Go to a gossips’ feast and go with me; After so long grief, such nativity!

DUKE SOLINUS

With all my heart, I’ll gossip at this feast.

THE TWO ANTIPHOLUSES AND THE TWO DROMIOS

We came into the world like brother and brother; And now let’s go hand in hand, not one before another.

Entire cast repeats the line at top volume, holding hands and facing the audience.

ALL

We came into the world like brother and brother; And now let’s go hand in hand, notone before the other!

ALL raise hands together with an increasingly loud cheer and take a bow. Exeunt.

CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting of

Twelfth Night.

Twenty-three actors performed in the original production. This number can be increased to about thirty or decreased toabout twelve by having actors share or double roles.

For the full breakdown of characters, see Sample Program.

FESTE: Jester to Countess Olivia MARIA: Olivia’s waiting gentlewoman OLIVIA: An Illyrian countess

VIOLA: A lady of Messaline shipwrecked on the coast of Illyria (disguised as Cesario)

MALVOLIO: Steward in Olivia’s household

ORSINO: Duke of Illyria

CURIO: Gentleman serving Orsino

SIR TOBY BELCH: Olivia’s kinsman

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK: Sir Toby’s companion

ATTENDANTS MUSICIANS NARRATORS

✴ SCENE 1. (ACT I, SCENE V)

Olivia’s house.

STAGEHANDS set bench stage right, chair stage left, and table center stage.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear.

As NARRATOR introduces the roles, players enter from stage rear, cross the stage in character, and exit stage right (see Performance Notes).

NARRATOR

Our story takes place in Illyria, an ancient (and mythical) country in Southern Europe on the Adriatic Sea. Two twins, Sebastian and Viola are separated in a shipwreck. Viola, believing her brother Sebastian to be dead, disguises herself as a man and takes a position as a page in the Court of the Duke Orsino, who is romantically pursuing the wealthy Countess Olivia, still mourning the sudden death of her brother. Livingat Olivia’s household is her drunken cousin Sir Toby, with frequent visits by his goofy party friend Sir Andrew Aguecheek.

Also at Olivia’s house are the puritanical and fun- hating Malvolio, the maid, Maria, and the court Fool, who comes and goes as he pleases, Feste: So, our tale begins, with Viola being sent to Olivia’s estate to deliver a love message from the Duke Orsino,

(whispering to audience) whom Viola herself secretly loves. The scene takes place in the courtyard of the estate of Countess Olivia.

Exit NARRATOR stage rear.

FESTE, stage right, by bench, is practicing balancing a broom on his chin. Enter MARIA from stage rear. When she enters, FESTE gives a surprised yelp, and the broom drops.

MARIA (takes the broom from the ground and sweeps under the table and chair)

Tell me where thou hast been!

My lady will hang thee for thy absence.

FESTE

Let her hang me: he that is well hang’d in this world need to fear no colours.

MARIA

That may you be bold to say in your foolery.

(sweeps FESTE’S shoes playfully)

FESTE

Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents. (juggles, center stage, and bows to audience)

MARIA

Peace, you rogue, no more o’ that. Here comes my lady: make your excuse wisely, you were best.

(places the broom against the table)

Exit MARIA stage rear.

FESTE (looking upward)

Wit, an’t be thy will, put me into good fooling!

(winks at audience)

Enter LADY OLIVIA stage left with ATTENDANTS behind her and

MALVOLIO bringing up the rear. OLIVIA sits in stage left chair, MALVOLIO stands to her right, and ATTENDANTS standon either side of the table.

FESTE (with a big bow and flourish of his hat)

God bless thee, lady!

OLIVIA (to MALVOLIO)

Take the fool away.

MALVOLIO starts to take FESTE’S arm, but the latter nimbly escapes, spins around, and lands on the bench in a cross-legged pose, smiling cleverly.

FESTE

The lady bade take away the fool; therefore, I say again, take her away.

OLIVIA

Sir, I bade them take away you.

FESTE

Lady, I wear not motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave to prove you a fool.

OLIVIA

Make your proof.

FESTE (approaches the chair and kneels at OLIVIA’S feet)

Good madonna, why mourn’st thou?

OLIVIA

Good fool, for my brother’s death.

FESTE

I think his soul is in hell, madonna.

OLIVIA

I know his soul is in heaven, fool.

FESTE

The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your brother’s soul being in heaven. Takeaway the fool, gentlemen.

FESTE stands, puts the fool’s cap on OLIVIA’S head, pauses, and puts it on MALVOLIO’S head instead. He begins tolead MALVOLIO out, stage right, but the latter realizes what is happening and indignantly pushes FESTE away.FESTE tumbles over backward, spins around the stage right pole, and finishes leaning against the pole, smiling. MALVOLIO stiffly assumes his position at OLIVIA’S right, and she cracks a small smile at this foolery.

OLIVIA

What think you of this fool, Malvolio? Doth he not mend?

MALVOLIO

Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, dothever make the better fool.

FESTE

God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! (begins to balance the broom on his chin again)

OLIVIA

How say you to that, Malvolio?

MALVOLIO

I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal.

MALVOLIO crosses to FESTE and casts the broom across the room with his cane, knocking FESTE to the ground in the process.

FESTE shoots him a dirty look.

Look you now, he’s out of his guard already.

ATTENDANT picks up the broom, casually sweeping a little dust toward MALVOLIO, places it at the side of the table,and resumes her position.

OLIVIA

O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio.

Exit MALVOLIO stage right, cocking his ear as if hearing a knock at the door.

(calling after the departing MALVOLIO) There is no slander in an allow’d fool, though he do nothing but rail.

FESTE (regains his composure and grasps the broom once more, dancing around the room)

Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou speak’st well of fools!

Exit FESTE stage right, still dancing with the broom. Enter MALVOLIO stage right, passing the dancing FESTE andgiving him a dirty look. FESTE sweeps the feet and pants of MALVOLIO, who hurries away, indignant, and takes his place at OLIVIA’S right.

MALVOLIO

Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman much desires to speak with you. What isto be said to him, lady? He’s fortified against any denial.

OLIVIA

Tell him he shall not speak with me.

MALVOLIO

Has been told so.

OLIVIA

What kind o’ man is he?

MALVOLIO

Why, of mankind.

OLIVIA

Of what personage and years is he?

MALVOLIO

Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy; one would think his mother’smilk were scarce out of him.

OLIVIA

Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman.

MALVOLIO (calling toward curtain)

Gentlewoman, my lady calls.

Exit MALVOLIO stage right. Enter MARIA from curtain.

OLIVIA stands and crosses to table, facing the audience. ATTENDANTS brush her hair and hold the mirror as sheapplies her lipstick.

OLIVIA

Give me my veil: come, throw it o’er my face. We’ll once more hear Orsino’s embassy.

MARIA places OLIVIA’S veil over her face and then dons her own, as do the ATTENDANTS. They all stand in a line in frontof the chair.

Enter VIOLA, clutching in her hand a rolled up scroll of paper tied with a ribbon. She is confused by the ladies,approaches them, sits on the bench, stands, and tentatively approaches them again.

VIOLA

The honourable lady of the house, which is she?

OLIVIA

Speak to me; I shall answer for her. Your will?

VIOLA (reading from her paper)

Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty, (stops reading) I pray you,tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her: I would be loathe to cast away my speech.

OLIVIA

What are you? What would you?

VIOLA

What I am, and what I would, are as secret as maidenhead: to your ears, divinity; to any other’s, profanation. (looks atATTENDANTS and motions with her head for them to leave)

OLIVIA

Give us the place alone: we will hear this divinity.

Exit MARIA and ATTENDANTS stage rear.

VIOLA

Good madam, let me see your face.

OLIVIA (moves toward the table and takes a quick peek at the mirror)

You are now out of your text: but we will draw the curtain, and show you thepicture. (removes her veil) Look you, sir, such a one I was, this present: is’t not well done?

VIOLA (with a look of admiration, and perhaps some envy or disappointment)

Excellently done, if God did all.

OLIVIA

’Tis in grain, sir; ’twill endure wind and weather.

VIOLA

My lord and master loves you.

OLIVIA

How does he love me?

VIOLA

With adorations, with fertile tears,

With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.

OLIVIA

Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him.

(returns to her chair, and sits)

VIOLA

If I did love you in my master’s flame,

With such a suffering, such a deadly life, In your denial I would find no sense;

I would not understand it.

OLIVIA

Why, what would you?

VIOLA (strolls to the stage right pole, leans against it, and gazes out toward the audience)

Make me a willow cabin at your gate, And call upon my soul within the house; Write loyal cantons of contemned love,

And sing them loud even in the dead of night; Halloo your name to the reverberate hills, And make the babbling gossip of the air

Cry out, “Olivia!”

OLIVIA (stands up from chair and moves slowly and somewhat seductively toward VIOLA, backing her into the stage right pole)

You might do much. What is your parentage?

VIOLA

Above my fortunes, yet my state is well: (clears her throat and tries to speak in a lower, more masculine voice)

I am a gentleman.

OLIVIA

Get you to your lord;

I cannot love him: let him send no more; Unless, perchance, you come to me again, To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well:

I thank you for your pains: spend this for me.

(gives her a large coin)

VIOLA

I am no fee’d post, lady; keep your purse: (starts to leave stage right, stops, and turns back)

My master, not myself, lacks recompense. Farewell, fair cruelty.

Exit VIOLA stage right.

OLIVIA (walking excitedly in a semicircle toward the table, stopping to inspect herself in the mirror)

Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions, and spirit, Do give thee fivefold blazon: not too fast;

(stops center stage to keep herself in check)

Soft, soft!

Even so quickly may one catch the plague?

(catches her breath, leaning against the table for support; takes a sip of wine, fans herself, looks at the wine glass, then drains it in one gulp)

Methinks I feel this youth’s perfections With an invisible and subtle stealth

To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be. What, ho, Malvolio!

Enter MALVOLIO stage right.

MALVOLIO

Here, madam, at your service.

OLIVIA

Run after that same peevish messenger,

The county’s man: he left this ring behind him, If that the youth will come this way to-morrow, I’ll give him reasons for’t. (hands him the ring)

Hie thee, Malvolio.

MALVOLIO

Madam, I will.

Exit MALVOLIO stage right.

OLIVIA (facing front)

I do I know not what; and fear to find Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.

Fate, show thy force: ourselves we do not owe; What is decreed must be, and be this so!

Exit OLIVIA, quickly, stage left.

STAGEHANDS remove bench, place chair stage right, bring on throne and place it to the right of chair, and placetable stage left, setting it with wine bottle, glasses, and a plate of fruit.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear.

✴ SCENE 2. (ACT II, SCENE IV)

Duke Orsino’s palace.

NARRATOR

Back at Duke Orsino’s palace, the Duke has a “man to man” talk with Viola about men’s passions, as Viola struggles to keep her own feelings for the Duke secret.

Exit NARRATOR stage rear.

Enter DUKE ORSINO, VIOLA, and CURIO from stage left. Enter DUKE ORSINO’S BAND from stage rear, comically playing over one an- other. DUKE ORSINO sits in his throne, with VIOLA in the chair to his left and CURIO standing to the right of the table. CURIO offers an apple slice to DUKE ORSINO, who takes a thoughtful bite and puts the slice back on the tray. The music stops.

DUKE ORSINO

If Music be the food of love, play on! Now, good Cesario, but that pieceof song,

That old and antique song we heard last night: Methought it did relieve my passion much, Come, but one verse.

CURIO

He is not here, so please your lordship, that should sing it.

CURIO offers an apple slice to VIOLA, who reaches for it then changes her mind. As CURIO passes by BAND, a membergrabs

a slice, and the other members roll their eyes. Before she can eat it, CURIO snatches the slice away, looks around,cleans it off a bit, and puts it back on the tray. He then takes a bite of fruit himself, and puts the rest in his pocket.

DUKE ORSINO

Who was it?

CURIO (regaining his composure, trying not to reveal that he has eaten the fruit)

Feste, the jester, my lord; a fool that the Lady Olivia’s father took much delight in: he is about the house.

DUKE ORSINO

Seek him out: and play the tune the while.

Exit CURIO stage left.

Once again, BAND begins to play, each member playing over the other.

Come hither, boy: if ever thou shalt love, In the sweet pangs of it remember me; How dost thou like this tune?

VIOLA

It gives a very echo to the seat Where Love is throned.

VIOLA leans against DUKE ORSINO while the music plays, and both feel a strange sense of discomfort. The music stops.

DUKE ORSINO (regains his composure)

Thou dost speak masterly:

My life upon’t, young though thou art, thine eye

Hath stay’d upon some favour that it loves; Hath it not, boy?

VIOLA

A little, by your favour.

DUKE ORSINO

What kind of woman is’t?

VIOLA

Of your complexion.

VIOLA moves her chair closer to his, beginning to lean against him, when they are surprised.

Enter CURIO and FESTE from stage rear.

DUKE ORSINO

O, fellow, come, the song we had last night. It is old and plain,

And dallies with the innocence of love, Like the old age.

FESTE

Are you ready, sir?

DUKE ORSINO

Ay; prithee, sing.

BAND MEMBER is about to get her chance for a solo, and there is a silence as she takes time to prepare. Shetriumphantly blows one note, but it is interrupted by a sudden whistle from FESTE. Enter DRUMMERS stage right, followed by other members of

FESTE’S BAND. ALL dance and move to the music, with DUKE ORSINO’S BAND eventually joining in.

FESTE (with singers repeating certain words) Come away, come away, death, And in sad cypress letme be laid; Fly away, fly away, breath;

I am slain by a fair cruel maid.

My shroud of white, stuck all with yew, O, prepare it!

My part of death, no one so true Did share it.

Not a flower, not a flower sweet,

On my black coffin let there be strown; Not a friend, not a friend greet

My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown: A thousand thousand sighs to save,

Lay me, O, where

Sad true lover never find my grave, To weep there!

Exit FESTE, SINGERS, BANDS, and CURIO stage right, all dancing and drumming. DUKE ORSINO and VIOLA look onamusedly. They are alone now.

VIOLA

My Lord,

Say that some lady, as perhaps there is, Hath for your love as great a pang of heart As you have for Olivia . . .

DUKE ORSINO

There is no woman’s sides

Can bide the beating of so strong a passion As love doth give my heart; no woman’s heart So big, to hold so much. Make no compare Between that love a woman can bear me

And that I owe Olivia.

VIOLA (crosses to the table and sneaks a look at herself in her pocket mirror)

Ay, but I know—

DUKE ORSINO

What dost thou know?

VIOLA (turns to face him; walks slightly forward, center stage)

Too well what love women to men may owe: In faith, they are as true of heart as we.

My father had a daughter loved a man, As it might be, perhaps, were I a woman,

I should your lordship. (throws him a coy, sidelong glance)

DUKE ORSINO

And what’s her history?

VIOLA (turns her head away from him again; speaks out to audience)

A blank, my lord. She never told her love. And, with a green and yellow melancholy, She sat like Patience on a monument,

Smiling at grief. (turns to him) Was not this love indeed? We men may say more, swear more: but, indeed,

Our shows are more than will; for still we prove Much in our vows, but little in our love.

DUKE ORSINO (walks sympathetically toward VIOLA and puts his arm around her shoulder)

But died thy sister of her love, my boy?

VIOLA (liking his touch but also finding it hard to bear; pulls away, turns, and takes a step forward)

I am all the daughters of my father’s house,

And all the brothers too; and yet I know not.

(pauses; turns back to him)

Sir, shall I to this lady?

DUKE ORSINO

Ay, that’s the theme.

To her in haste; give her this jewel; say, My love can give no place, bide no delay.

Exit VIOLA stage right and DUKE ORSINO stage rear, both stopping to look back at each other as they leave.

STAGEHANDS remove throne, move table to center stage, and place two more chairs around the table, setting it withtwo mugs (one large and one small), bottle of wine, pot, pan, and two wooden spoons.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear.

✴ SCENE 3. (ACT II, SCENE III)

Olivia’s house.

NARRATOR

Meanwhile, back at Olivia’s house, Sir Toby,

Sir Andrew, and Feste sing and dance the night away. This does not sit well with Malvolio.

Exit NARRATOR stage rear.

Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK from stage rear. SIR TOBY immediately fills the huge mug forhimself and the small one for his companion. He takes a center stage seat.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Approach, Sir Andrew: not to be a-bed after midnight is to be up betimes. (hands the small cup to SIR ANDREW, who examines his meager portion)

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK (sits in stage right chair)

I know not: but I know, to be up late is to be up late.

(clink their mugs and drink to that)

SIR TOBY BELCH

A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfill’d can. (holds up empty wine bottle and tries to shake out its last fewdrops) To be up after midnight, and to go to bed then, is early; let us therefore eat and drink. (calls to stageleft door) Maria, I say! A stoup of wine! (waves the empty bottle about, attempting to suck out more liquid, somehow)

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

Here comes the fool, i’ faith.

Enter FESTE from stage right.

SIR ANDREW spots FESTE, who motions for him to be quiet as he taps SIR TOBY on his right shoulder, then his left, and hides behind the chair. He peers over the top of the chair, surprising SIR TOBY, who gives a whoop and nearly jumps out of his seat.

FESTE

How now, my hearts! Did you never see the picture of We Three?

FESTE puts his arm around the two men and produces a flask from his pocket, which delights SIR TOBY. He sits in stage right chair.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Welcome, ass. Now let’s have a catch.

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. Now, a song.

SIR TOBY reaches into his own purse, which is empty, so he reaches into SIR ANDREW’S, who doesn’t even notice. SIR TOBY hands a coin to FESTE.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Come on; there is sixpence for you: let’s have a song.

FESTE

Would you have a love-song, or a song of good life?

SIR TOBY BELCH

A love-song, a love-song.

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

Ay, ay: I care not for good life.

FESTE gives a flourish and a whistle, and FESTE’S BAND enters noisily to see what the commotion is about. Once thedisorder dies down, SINGERS perform the song, standing between FESTE and TOBY, slightly upstage.

SINGERS

O mistress mine, where are you roaming? O, stay and hear; your true-love’s coming, That can sing both high and low:

Trip no further, pretty sweeting; Journeys end in lovers’ meeting, Every wise man’s son doth know. What is love? ’Tis not hereafter; Present mirth hath present laughter; What’s to come is still unsure:

In delay there lies no plenty;

Then come kiss me, sweet-and-twenty, Youth’s a stuff will not endure.

SINGERS curtsy coyly to the men as MARIA grabs one of the wine jugs for them to share. Exit SINGERS and MARIA stage left.

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK (leaning on his elbows, his face close to SIR TOBY’S, gazing fondly toward where the women once were)

A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.

SIR TOBY BELCH (smells his breath and falls back in his chair)

A contagious breath.

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK (not realizing SIR TOBY is referring to his breath)

Very sweet and contagious, i’ faith.

SIR TOBY BELCH

To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion. But shall we make the welkin dance indeed?

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

Most certain. Let our catch be, “Thou knave.” Begin, fool: it begins, “Hold thy peace.”

FESTE

I shall never begin, if I hold my peace.

SIR ANDREW AGUECHEEK

Good, i’ faith. Come, begin.

They all stand and sing the song, accompanied by FESTE’S BAND, and dance around the table banging pots and pans, singing, “Hold thy peace, Thou Knave,—Huh! Hold thy peace!”

Enter MARIA stage right.

MARIA

What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady have not call’d up her steward Malvolio,and bid him turn you out of doors, never trust me.

SIR TOBY BELCH

Tilly-vally, lady! (sings) “There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady!”

SIR ANDREW, FESTE, and FESTE’S BAND join in, repeating “Lady lady,” and the noise level rises again.

MARIA

For the love o’ God, peace!

Enter MALVOLIO from stage rear. He is dressed in a ridiculous nightshirt, nightcap, and slippers.

MALVOLIO

My masters, are you mad? Or what are you? Have you no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an ale-house of my lady’shouse? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time, in you?

SIR TOBY BELCH

We did keep time, sir, in our catches. Sneck-up!

(offers his mug to MALVOLIO, who recoils in disgust)

MALVOLIO

Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade me tell you, that, though she harboursyou as her kinsman, she’s nothing allied to your disorders.

DRUMMERS start up again.

SIR TOBY BELCH (sings)

Shall I bid him go?

FESTE (sings)

What an if you do?

SIR TOBY BELCH (sings)

Shall I bid him go, and spare not?

FESTE (sings)

O, no, no, no, no, you dare not.

MALVOLIO takes a drumstick from DRUMMER and breaks it. DRUMMER immediately produces another drumstick fromhis jacket pocket.

SIR TOBY BELCH (walks right into MALVOLIO’S face)

Out o’ time, sir? Ye lie. Art any more than a steward? Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale? Go, sir, rub your chain with crumbs. A stoup of wine, Maria!

MALVOLIO (takes a step toward curtain and turns around) Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady’s favour at anything more than contempt, you would not give means for this uncivil rule: she shall know of it, by this hand.

Exit MALVOLIO stage rear.

MARIA (calling after him)

Go shake your ears!

ALL join in with a rousing chorus of, “Go shake your ears! Go shake your ears!”

SIR TOBY BELCH

Come, Come. I’ll go burn some sack; ’tis too late to go to bed now.

Drums start softly as a prelude to singing of the last song. Enter NARRATOR from stage right, coming downstage.

NARRATOR

In time, Viola’s twin brother Sebastian reappears alive and well,

Enter VIOLA from stage right (as Sebastian) with her hair still up.

and marries the happy Olivia,

Enter OLIVIA from stage left; she dances with VIOLA (as Sebastian).

and the Duke Orsino finds love with the ecstatic Viola.

VIOLA turns around, lets down her hair, spins back around, and dances with DUKE ORSINO, who has entered from stage right.

Sir Toby and Maria even get married!

SIR TOBY and MARIA dance.

What a life! And, even though there is still some ill will between Malvolio andthe revelers, for the

end of our merry play, we invited him to join in the dance too!

Enter MALVOLIO from stage rear, who stands stiffly with arms crossed, scowling, and then gradually begins to smileand dance a little.

Enter ALL, dancing.

ALL (singing “The Wind and the Rain”)

When that I was and a little tiny boy, With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, A foolish thing was but a toy,

For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came to man’s estate, With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,

’Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate, For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came, alas, to wive, With hey, ho, the wind and the rain By swaggering could Inever thrive, For the rain it raineth every day.

KING LEAR
CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting of King Lear.

Nineteen actors appeared in the original production. This number can be increased to about thirty or decreased to about twelve by having actors share or double roles.

For the full breakdown of characters, see Sample Program.

KING LEAR: King of Britain

KENT: Earl of Kent, a loyal subject to King Lear

GLOUCESTER: Earl of Gloucester, father to Edgar and Edmund

EDMUND: Bastard son to the Earl of Gloucester

CORDELIA: Youngest daughter to King Lear

GONERIL: Oldest daughter to King Lear, wife to the Duke of Albany REGAN: Middle daughter to King Lear, wife to the Duke ofCornwall ALBANY: Duke of Albany, husband to Goneril

CORNWALL: Duke of Cornwall, husband to Regan

EDGAR: son to the Earl of Gloucester

FOOL HERALD GENTLEMAN ATTENDANTS NARRATORS

✴ SCENE 1. (ACT I, SCENE I)

King Lear’s palace.

STAGEHAND sets throne center stage.

SOUND OPERATOR plays Sound Cue #1 (“Ominous music”).

Enter NARRATOR from stage right, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

King Lear, intending to divide his power and his kingdom among his three daughters, demands public professions of their love.

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter KENT, GLOUCESTER, and EDMUND from stage left.

KENT

Is not this your son, my lord?

GLOUCESTER

His breeding, sir, hath been at my charge: But I have, sir, a son by order of law, some year elder than this, who yet is no dearer in my account: though this knave came something saucily into the world, and the whoreson must be acknowledged. Do you know this noble gentleman, Edmund?

EDMUND

No, my lord.

GLOUCESTER

My lord of Kent: remember him hereafter as my honorable friend.

EDMUND (bows)

My services to your lordship.

GLOUCESTER

The king is coming.

EDMUND, KENT, and GLOUCESTER stand stage right, awaiting royal entrance.

SOUND OPERATOR plays Sound Cue #2 (“Royal entrance music”).

Enter GONERIL and ALBANY from stage rear, proceeding to stage right. REGAN and CORNWALL follow, crossing tostage left. They are followed by CORDELIA, who stands left of the throne. KING LEAR enters last, shuffling in slowly and using his sword as a cane. He takes his seat in the throne. ALL bow to him.

KING LEAR holds out his hand, and KENT places a rolled-up map into it. LEAR unrolls the map and lays it on theground in front of him. As he speaks, he points at it with his sword.

KING LEAR

Know that we have divided

In three our kingdom while we Unburthen’d crawl toward death. Tell me,

my daughters:

Which of you shall we say doth love us most? That we our largest bounty may extend. Goneril, Our eldest-born, speak first.

As GONERIL speaks, she approaches the throne and kneels at her father’s feet. She then returns to ALBANY’S side.

GONERIL

Sir, I love you more than words can wield the matter;

Dearer than eye-sight, space, and liberty;

A love that makes breath poor, and speech unable; Beyond all manner of so much I love you.

CORDELIA (aside)

What shall Cordelia do? Love, and be silent.

KING LEAR (to GONERIL)

Of all these bounds, even from this line to this, We make thee lady: to thine and Albany’s issue Be this perpetual. (to REGAN)

What says our second daughter, Our dearest Regan? Speak.

As REGAN speaks, she approaches the throne and kneels at her father’s feet. She then returns to CORNWALL’S side.

REGAN

Sir, I am made

Of the self-same metal that my sister is, And prize me at her worth. In my true heart I find she names my very deed of love;

Only she comes too short: I am alone felicitate

In your dear highness’ love.

CORDELIA (aside)

Then poor Cordelia!

And yet not so; since, I am sure, my love’s More richer than my tongue.

KING LEAR (to REGAN)

To thee and thine hereditary ever

Remain this ample third of our fair kingdom;

(to CORDELIA)

Now, our joy,

Although the last, not least; what can you say to draw

A third more opulent than your sisters? Speak.

CORDELIA

Nothing, my lord.

REGAN, CORNWALL, GONERIL, and ALBANY react with shock at this pronouncement.

KING LEAR (stands)

Nothing!

CORDELIA

Nothing.

KING LEAR

Nothing will come of nothing: speak again.

CORDELIA

Unhappy that I am, I cannot heave

My heart into my mouth: I love your majesty According to my bond; nor more nor less.

KING LEAR

How, how, Cordelia! Mend your speech a little, Lest it may mar your fortunes.

CORDELIA

Good my lord,

You have begot me, bred me, loved me:

Return those duties back as are right fit, Obey you, love you, and most honor you.

KING LEAR

So young, and so untender?

CORDELIA

So young, my lord, and true.

As KING LEAR speaks, he gestures with his sword, thrusting it up on “sun” and pointing it downward on “Hecate.”

KING LEAR

Let it be so; thy truth, then, be thy dower: For, by the sacred radiance of the sun, The mysteries of Hecate, and the night; Here I disclaim all my paternal care,

(throws CORDELIA to the ground) And as a stranger to my heart and me Hold thee, from this, for ever.

KENT

Good my liege,—

KENT approaches KING LEAR, who holds him off with his sword.

KING LEAR

Peace, Kent!

Come not between the dragon and his wrath. I loved her most. Hence, and avoid my sight!

KENT

Royal Lear,

Thy youngest daughter does not love thee least; I’ll tell thee thou dost evil.

KING LEAR

Hear me, recreant!

Since thou hast sought to make us break our vow, Turn thy hated back

Upon our kingdom:

If thy banish’d trunk be found in our dominions, The moment is thy death. Away! By Jupiter,

This shall not be revoked.

KENT

Fare thee well, king: sith thus thou wilt appear, Freedom lives hence, and banishment is here.

(to CORDELIA, helping her up from the ground)

The gods to their dear shelter take thee, maid, That justly think’st, and hast most rightly said!

Exit KENT stage left.

CORDELIA

I yet beseech your majesty,—

If for I want that glib and oily art,

To speak and purpose not; such a tongue I am glad I have not, though not to have it Hath lost me in your liking.

KING LEAR

Better thou

Hadst not been born than not to have pleased me better.

Exit KING LEAR stage left, followed by all but GONERIL and

REGAN, who stand on either side of CORDELIA.

CORDELIA

Time shall unfold what plaited cunning hides: Who cover faults, at last shame them derides.

Exit CORDELIA stage left.

GONERIL

You see how full of changes his age is; he always loved our sister most; and with what poor judgment he hath now cast her off appears too grossly.

REGAN

’Tis the infirmity of his age: yet he hath ever but slenderly known himself. Such unconstant starts are we like to have from him as this of Kent’s banishment.

GONERIL (moves close to REGAN, speaking conspiratorially)

We must do something, and i’ the heat.

Exit GONERIL and REGAN stage left.

STAGEHANDS move throne from stage center to stage left.

✴ SCENE 2. (ACT I, SCENE II)

The Earl of Gloucester’s castle.

Enter NARRATOR from stage right, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Edmund, the Earl of Gloucester’s illegitimate son, plots to displace Edgar, Gloucester’s legitimate son andsuccessor, by turning Gloucester against him.

Exit NARRATOR stage left.

Enter EDMUND from stage rear, holding a letter. As he speaks, he walks slowly downstage center.

EDMUND

Thou, nature, art my goddess; to thy law My services are bound. Wherefore should I Stand in the plague of custom, and permit The curiosity of nations to deprive me,

For that I am some twelve or fourteen moon-shines Lag of a brother? Why bastard? Wherefore base?

Legitimate Edgar, I must have your land:

(sits in throne)

Fine word,—legitimate!

Well, my legitimate, if this letter speed, Edmund the base

Shall top the legitimate. (stands, continuing downstage center)

I grow; I prosper:

Now, gods, stand up for bastards!

Enter GLOUCESTER from stage left.

GLOUCESTER

Edmund, how now! What news?

EDMUND

So please your lordship, none.

EDMUND turns his back to GLOUCESTER and makes a showy attempt to conceal the letter.

GLOUCESTER

What paper were you reading?

EDMUND

It is a letter from my brother. I find it not fit for your o’er-looking.

GLOUCESTER

Let’s see, let’s see.

EDMUND hands the letter to GLOUCESTER, who reads from it out loud.

“If our father would sleep till I waked him, you should half his revenue for ever, and live the beloved of your brother, EDGAR.” Conspiracy!—O villain, villain! Edmund, seek him out: Find out this villain, Edmund; it shall lose thee nothing; do it carefully.

Exit GLOUCESTER stage left, clutching the letter.

EDMUND (crosses to center stage, addressing audience)

This is the excellent foppery of the world, that, when we are sick in fortune,—often the surfeit of our ownbehavior,—we make guilty of our disasters

10 ✴ KING LEAR

the sun, the moon, and the stars: I am rough and lecherous. Tut, I should have been that I am, had the maidenliest star in the firmament twinkled on my bastardizing. Edgar—

Enter EDGAR from stage left.

And pat he comes like the catastrophe of the old comedy: (conspiratorially, to audience) my cue is villanous melancholy.

EDGAR (approaches EDMUND)

How now, brother Edmund! What serious contemplation are you in?

EDMUND (puts his arm around EDGAR)

Come, come; when saw you my father last?

EDGAR

Why, the night gone by.

EDMUND

Bethink yourself wherein you may have offended him: and at my entreaty forbear his presence till some little time hath qualified the heat of his displeasure; which at this instant so rageth in him, that with the mischief of your person it would scarcely allay.

EDGAR

Some villain hath done me wrong.

EDMUND

Pray ye, go; there’s my key: (hands EDGAR a key and pats his shoulder reassuringly) if you do stir abroad, go armed.

EDGAR

Armed, brother!

EDMUND

Go armed: I pray you, away.

Exit EDGAR stage left.

EDMUND (walks downstage center, addressing audience) Let me, if not by birth, have lands by wit: All with me’s meet that I can fashion fit.

Exit EDMUND stage rear.

✴ SCENE 3. (ACT I, SCENE IV)

A hall in the same.

Enter NARRATOR from stage right, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

The Earl of Kent returns in disguise, offers his services to King Lear, and is accepted as one of his followers. The Fool lives up to his name!

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter KENT, disguised, from stage left.

Enter FOOL from stage right, unseen by KENT; he lurks behind stage right pillar.

KENT

If but as well I other accents borrow, That can my speech defuse,

now, banish’d Kent,

thy master, whom thou lovest, Shall find thee full of labors.

KENT crouches by stage right pillar, hunching over to hide his face. The FOOL is behind him, still unseen.

Enter KING LEAR, GONERIL, and ALBANY from stage left.

KING LEAR

How now! What art thou?

KENT (bows, still hiding his face)

A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king.

KING LEAR

Who wouldst thou serve?

KENT

You.

KING LEAR

Dost thou know me, fellow?

KENT

No, sir; but I can keep honest counsel.

KING LEAR

Follow me; thou shalt serve me: Where’s my knave? My fool?

The FOOL appears from behind stage right pillar.

FOOL (pulls cap over eyes)

Here’s my coxcomb.

KING LEAR

How now, my pretty knave! How dost thou?

The FOOL offers his cap to Kent.

FOOL

Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.

KENT

Why, fool?

FOOL

Why, for taking one’s part that’s out of favor: why, this fellow has banished two on’s daughters, and did the third ablessing against his will; How now, nuncle! Sirrah, I’ll teach thee a speech.

KING LEAR

Do.

FOOL

Mark it, nuncle: (with mock wisdom and flourishes)

Have more than thou showest, Speak less than thou knowest, Lend less than thou owest, Ride more than thou goest,

KENT

This is nothing, fool.

FOOL

Can you make no use of nothing, nuncle?

KING LEAR

Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.

FOOL (to KENT)

Prithee, tell him, so much the rent of his land comes to: he will not believe a fool.

KING LEAR

A bitter fool!

FOOL

Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweet fool?

KING LEAR

No, lad; teach me.

FOOL

The sweet and bitter fool Will presently appear; The one in motley here,

The other found out there.

KING LEAR

Dost thou call me fool, boy?

FOOL

All thy other titles thou hast given away; that thou wast born with. I am a fool, thou art nothing.

Whoop, Jug! I love thee.

KING LEAR

Doth any here know me? Who is it that can tell me who I am?

The FOOL steps behind LEAR.

FOOL

Lear’s shadow.

GONERIL

As you are old and reverend, you should be wise. Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires; Men so disorder’d, so debosh’d and bold,

That this our court, is more like a tavern or a brothel Than a graced palace. Be then desired

a little to disquantity your train.

KING LEAR (to GONERIL)

Darkness and devils!

Degenerate bastard! Detested kite! Thou liest. O Lear, Lear, Lear!

Beat at this gate, that let thy folly in, (strikes his head)

And thy dear judgment out! How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is

To have a thankless child! (to GONERIL)

Life and death! I am ashamed

That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus; Away! Away!

Exit KING LEAR and KENT stage left.

The FOOL sits in the throne, playing as if he is the king.

GONERIL (to FOOL)

You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.

FOOL (hurrying after KING LEAR)

Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the fool with thee.

Exit FOOL stage left.

GONERIL

A hundred knights!

He may enguard his dotage with their powers, And hold our lives in mercy.

ALBANY

Well, you may fear too far.

GONERIL

Safer than trust too far:

I know his heart.

I have writ my sister

To inform her full of my particular fear.

Exit GONERIL and ALBANY stage left.

Enter FOOL from stage left, tiptoeing. He carries the throne offstage in preparation for the next scene.

✴ SCENE 4. (ACT III, SCENE IV)

The heath, before a hovel.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Lear, Kent, and the Fool reach the hovel, where they find Edgar disguised as Poor Tom, a madman and beggar. When Gloucester finds them, he leads them to the shelter of a house. It seems as if Lear is not the only one whose sanity is slipping away!

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter KING LEAR, KENT, and the FOOL from stage left.

SOUND OPERATOR plays Sound Cue #3 (“Storm sounds”).

KENT (holds onto LEAR, attempting to shelter him from the storm)

Here is the place, my lord; good my lord, enter: The tyranny of the open night’s too rough

For nature to endure.

KING LEAR

The body’s delicate: the tempest in my mind Doth from my senses take all feeling else Save what beats there. Filial ingratitude!

O Regan, Goneril!

Your old kind father, whose frank heart gave all,— O, that way madness lies;

No more of that.

KENT

Good my lord, enter here.

KING LEAR

Prithee, go in thyself: seek thine own ease:

The FOOL walks behind stage left pillar as if entering the hovel.

This tempest will not give me leave to ponder On things would hurt me more. But I’ll go in.

EDGAR (within)

Fathom and half, fathom and half! Poor Tom!

FOOL (running out from behind pillar)

Come not in here, nuncle, here’s a spirit Help me, help me!

The FOOL runs to KING LEAR’S side and kneels. KING LEAR, KENT, and the FOOL huddle together, facing the stage left pillar.

KENT

Give me thy hand. Who’s there?

FOOL

A spirit, a spirit: he says his name’s Poor Tom.

KENT

Come forth.

Enter EDGAR, disguised.

EDGAR

Away! The foul fiend follows me!

KING LEAR, fascinated by the madman, slowly approaches

EDGAR. The FOOL, circling around stage rear, is also captivated.

KING LEAR

Hast thou given all to thy two daughters? And art thou come to this?

EDGAR

Who gives any thing to Poor Tom?

Bless thy five wits! Tom’s a-cold,—O, do de, do de, do de.

KING LEAR

What, have his daughters brought him to this pass? Couldst thou save nothing? Didst thou give them all?

EDGAR

Pillicock sat on Pillicock-hill: Halloo, halloo, loo, loo!

EDGAR moves stage right, flapping his arms like wings.

FOOL

This cold night will turn us all to fools and madmen.

KING LEAR

Is man no more than this? Unaccommodated man is no more but such a poor bare, forked animal as thou art.

FOOL (looks stage left)

Look, here comes a walking fire.

Enter GLOUCESTER from stage left, with a torch. He comes to center stage. The men form a line from stage rightto left:

EDGAR, KING LEAR, GLOUCESTER, KENT, and the FOOL.

EDGAR

This is the foul fiend Flibbertigibbet.

GLOUCESTER

What are you there? Your names?

EDGAR

Poor Tom, that in the fury of his heart, swallows the old rat and the ditch-dog; who is whipped from tithing to tithing! (whips himself with his arms)

GLOUCESTER

What, hath your grace no better company? Go in with me: my duty cannot suffer

To obey in all your daughters’ hard commands.

KING LEAR resists, moving stage right to converse silently with

EDGAR. He exchanges his crown for EDGAR’S hat.

KENT

Importune him once more to go, my lord; His wits begin to unsettle.

GLOUCESTER

Canst thou blame him?

His daughters seek his death: ah, that good Kent! He said it would be thus, poor banish’d man!

Thou say’st the king grows mad; I’ll tell thee, friend, I am almost mad myself: I had a son,

Now outlaw’d from my blood; he sought my life, But lately, very late: I loved him, friend,

The grief hath crazed my wits. (motions for all to exit)

KING LEAR

O, cry your mercy, sir.

Noble philosopher, your company. Come, good Athenian.

GLOUCESTER

No words, no words: hush.

Exit GLOUCESTER stage right, leading KING LEAR off. KENT follows, while EDGAR remains.

EDGAR

Child Rowland to the dark tower came, His word was still,—Fie, foh, and fum, I smell the blood of a British man.

Exit EDGAR stage right.

STAGEHANDS set bench (for bed), lengthwise, downstage center.

Enter KING LEAR from stage rear. He lies on the bed and falls asleep.

✴ SCENE 5. (ACT IV, SCENE VII)

A tent in the French camp.

KING LEAR remains asleep on bed.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage right.

NARRATOR

In the French camp, Lear awakens and is reunited with Cordelia.

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter CORDELIA from stage right. She stands over KING LEAR’S

bedside as he sleeps.

CORDELIA

O you kind gods,

Cure this great breach in his abused nature! O my dear father! Restoration hang

Thy medicine on my lips; and let this kiss Repair those violent harms that my two sisters Have in thy reverence made!

CORDELIA leans over and kisses her father’s head. He stirs and then sits up, facing out. CORDELIA sits next to him.

CORDELIA

He wakes; How does my royal lord? How fares your majesty?

KING LEAR

You do me wrong to take me out o’ the grave: Thou art a soul in bliss; but I am bound Upon a wheel of fire, that mine own tears

Do scald like moulten lead. (suddenly looks around, confused)

Where have I been? Where am I? Fair daylight? I am mightily abused.

I will not swear these are my hands.

CORDELIA

O, look upon me, sir,

And hold your hands in benediction o’er me:

KING LEAR kneels at CORDELIA’S feet, but she helps him to stand.

No, sir, you must not kneel.

KING LEAR

Pray, do not mock me:

I am a very foolish fond old man,

And I fear I am not in my perfect mind. Methinks I should know you,

Yet I am doubtful. For, as I am a man, I think this lady To be my child Cordelia.

CORDELIA

And so I am, I am. (puts her head on his chest, weeping)

KING LEAR

I pray, weep not:

If you have poison for me, I will drink it.

I know you do not love me; for your sisters Have, as I do remember, done me wrong: You have some cause, they have not.

CORDELIA

No cause, no cause.

KING LEAR

Do not abuse me.

CORDELIA

Will’t please your highness walk?

KING LEAR

You must bear with me:

Pray you now, forget and forgive: I am old and foolish.

Exit CORDELIA and KING LEAR stage right, with CORDELIA helping her father walk.

✴ SCENE 6. (ACT V, SCENE III)

The British camp near Dover.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

Edmund sends King Lear and Cordelia to prison and secretly orders their assassinations. Edgar accusesEdmund of treachery. The characters face the consequences of their actions.

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter EDMUND from stage left. Enter KING LEAR, CORDELIA, and

HERALD from stage right.

EDMUND (to HERALD, indicating KING LEAR and CORDELIA)

Take them away.

HERALD tries to take CORDELIA, but she shakes him off. KING LEAR

moves between HERALD and CORDELIA.

CORDELIA

We are not the first

Who, with best meaning, have incurr’d the worst. For thee, oppressed king, am I cast down;

Myself could else out-frown false fortune’s frown. Shall we not see these daughters and these sisters?

KING LEAR (facing CORDELIA)

No, no, no, no! Come, let’s away to prison: We two alone will sing like birds i’ the cage:

KING LEAR kneels, as does CORDELIA, facing him.

When thou dost ask me blessing, I’ll kneel down, And ask of thee forgiveness: so we’ll live,

And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh At gilded butterflies,

as if we were God’s spies.

EDMUND

Take them away.

HERALD grips KING LEAR and CORDELIA and escorts them offstage left.

Enter GONERIL and REGAN from stage right; they sit on the bench. GONERIL is holding two cups and hands one toREGAN. Both drink.

Enter ALBANY and HERALD from stage left.

ALBANY

Stay yet; hear reason. Edmund, I arrest thee On capital treason; and, in thine attaint,

Thou art arm’d, Gloucester: let the trumpet sound: If none appear to prove upon thy head

Thy heinous, manifest, and many treasons, There is my pledge. (throws down a glove)

REGAN

Sick, O, sick!

REGAN doubles over, dropping her cup.

GONERIL (aside to audience)

If not, I’ll ne’er trust medicine.

EDMUND

There’s my exchange: (throws down a glove)

what in the world he is

That names me traitor, villain-like he lies.

REGAN

My sickness grows upon me.

ALBANY

She is not well; convey her to my tent.

HERALD leads REGAN offstage right. GONERIL follows.

Re-enter HERALD from stage right; he crosses to stage left and faces out, reading from a paper.

HERALD

“If any man of quality or degree within the lists of the army will maintain upon Edmund, supposed Earl of Gloucester,that he is a manifold traitor, let him appear.

Enter EDGAR from stage right, masked.

EDMUND stands stage left, facing EDGAR.

HERALD (to EDGAR)

What are you?

Your name, your quality?

EDGAR

Know, my name is lost;

By treason’s tooth bare-gnawn and canker-bit:

Yet am I noble as the adversary I come to cope.

What’s he that speaks for Edmund Earl of Gloucester?

EDMUND

Himself: what say’st thou to him?

EDGAR

Draw thy sword,

Despite thy victor sword and fire-new fortune, thou art a traitor;

False to thy gods, thy brother, and thy father; A most toad-spotted traitor.

EDMUND

Back do I toss these treasons to thy head; With the hell-hated lie o’erwhelm thy heart;

SOUND OPERATOR plays Sound Cue #4 (“Drum beats”).

EDMUND and EDGAR fight. EDMUND falls.

EDMUND

What you have charged me with, that have I done; And more, much more; the time will bring it out: ’Tis past, and so am I. But what art thou?

EDGAR

I am no less in blood than thou art, Edmund;

(removes his mask)

My name is Edgar, and thy father’s son.

EDMUND

The wheel is come full circle: I am here.

Enter a GENTLEMAN, running in from stage left and holding a bloody knife. He comes center stage.

GENTLEMAN

Help, help, O, help!

EDGAR

What means that bloody knife?

GENTLEMAN

’Tis hot, it smokes;

It came even from the heart of—O, she’s dead!

ALBANY

Who dead? Speak, man.

GENTLEMAN

Your lady, sir, your lady: and her sister By her is poisoned; she hath confess’d it.

ALBANY

Produce their bodies, be they alive or dead:

This judgment of the heavens, that makes us tremble, Touches us not with pity.

Exit GENTLEMAN stage right. Enter KENT from stage left.

KENT

I am come

To bid my king and master aye good night: Is he not here?

ALBANY

Great thing of us forgot!

Speak, Edmund, where’s the king? And where’s Cordelia?

See’st thou this object, Kent?

Enter two ATTENDANTS, bearing the bodies of GONERIL and

REGAN; the bodies are placed center stage.

KENT

Alack, why thus?

EDMUND

Yet Edmund was beloved:

The one the other poison’d for my sake, And after slew herself.

ALBANY

Even so. Cover their faces.

ATTENDANTS cover the faces of GONERIL and REGAN with veils.

EDMUND

I pant for life: some good I mean to do, Despite of mine own nature. Quickly send, to the castle; for my writ

Is on the life of Lear and on Cordelia.

ALBANY

Run, run, O, run!

Exit EDGAR stage left.

EDMUND

He hath commission from thy wife and me To hang Cordelia in the prison, and

To lay the blame upon her own despair, That she fordid herself.

EDMUND dies.

ALBANY

The gods defend her!

ATTENDANTS carry EDMUND offstage right.

Re-enter KING LEAR from stage rear with the lifeless CORDELIA in his arms. He lays her down on the bed.

Re-enter EDGAR stage left, a witness to KING LEAR’S mourning.

KING LEAR

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones: Had I your tongues and eyes, I’ld use them so

That heaven’s vault should crack. She’s gone for ever! Lend me a looking-glass;

HERALD hands KING LEAR a small mirror.

If that her breath will mist or stain the stone, Why, then she lives.

KENT

Is this the promised end?

KING LEAR holds a feather up to CORDELIA’S mouth. The feather does not move, but LEAR imagines it does.

KING LEAR

This feather stirs; she lives! If it be so,

It is a chance which does redeem all sorrows That ever I have felt.

KENT (kneels before KING LEAR)

O my good master!

KING LEAR

Prithee, away.

EDGAR

’Tis noble Kent, your friend.

KING LEAR

A plague upon you, murderers, traitors all!

I might have saved her; now she’s gone for ever! Cordelia, Cordelia! Stay a little.

I kill’d the slave that was a-hanging thee. I am old now,

And these same crosses spoil me. Who are you? Mine eyes are not o’ the best: I’ll tell you straight.

KENT

If fortune brag of two she loved and hated, One of them we behold.

KING LEAR

Are you not Kent?

KENT

The same,

Your servant Kent.

That, from your first of difference and decay, Have follow’d your sad steps.

KING LEAR

You are welcome hither.

KENT

Nor no man else: all’s cheerless, dark, and deadly. Your eldest daughters have fordone them selves, And desperately are dead.

HERALD checks EDMUND for a pulse, but finds none.

HERALD

Edmund is dead, my lord.

KING LEAR

And my poor fool is hang’d! No, no, no life! Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,

And thou no breath at all? Thou’lt come no more, Never, never, never, never, never!

Look on her, look, her lips, Look there, look there!

KING LEAR looks up. The others look up, then back to KING LEAR.

(See Performance Notes.)

KING LEAR dies, collapsing to the ground next to CORDELIA.

EDGAR (rushes to KING LEAR’S side)

He faints! My lord, my lord!

KENT

Break, heart; I prithee, break!

Vex not his ghost: O, let him pass! He hates him much That would upon the rack of this tough world Stretch him out longer.

EDGAR

He is gone, indeed.

KENT

The wonder is, he hath endured so long: He but usurp’d his life.

ALBANY

Bear them from hence. Our present business

CHARACTERS IN THE PLAY

The following is a list of characters that appear in this cutting of

Love’s Labor’s Lost.

Twenty actors performed in the original production. This number can be increased to about thirty or decreased to about twelve by having actors share or double roles.

For the full breakdown of characters, see Sample Program.

KING FERDINAND: King of Navarre

BEROWNE

LONGAVILLE DUMAINE

Lords attending on the King

COSTARD: A clown

BOYET

MARCADE

Lords attending on the Princess of France

DULL: A constable

THE PRINCESS OF FRANCE ROSALINE

MARIA KATHARINE

Ladies attending on the Princess

DON ARMADO: A fantastical Spaniard

SIR NATHANIEL: A curate HOLOFERNES: A schoolmaster BOY/MOTH: Page to Don Armado NARRATORS

✴ SCENE 1. (ACT I, SCENE I)

The King of Navarre’s Court.

STAGEHANDS set bench stage right, at an angle, placing table in front of bench; then set throne stage left, at an angle.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage center.

NARRATOR

The King of Navarre and his lords vow to retire from the world (especially from women) and study for three years. We will see how long this plan lasts!

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter FERDINAND, BEROWNE, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE.

FERDINAND stands stage left between the table and bench, placing a scroll and pen on the table. The LORDS standstage right in front of the table, facing FERDINAND.

FERDINAND

Let fame, that all hunt after in their lives, Live regist’red upon our brazen tombs, Andthen grace us in the disgrace of death;

You three, Berowne, Dumaine, and Longaville, Have sworn for three years’ term to live with me, My fellow-scholars, and to keep those statutes That are recorded in this schedule here: Subscribe to your deep oaths, and keep it too.

LONGAVILLE

I am resolv’d; ’tis but a three years’ fast:

The mind shall banquet, though the body pine.

LONGAVILLE signs the scroll and crosses stage left.

DUMAINE

My loving lord, Dumaine is mortified:

To love, to wealth, to pomp, I pine and die, With all these living in philosophy.

DUMAINE signs the scroll and moves to LONGAVILLE’S right.

BEROWNE (walks behind table, looking at scroll)

So much, dear liege, I have already sworn, That is, to live and study here three years. But there are other strict observances:

As, not to see a woman in that term, Which I hope well is not enrolled there: And one day in aweek to touch no food, Which I hope well is not enrolled there.

O! These are barren tasks, too hard to keep, Not to see ladies, study, fast, not sleep.

LONGAVILLE

You swore to that, Berowne, and to the rest.

BEROWNE

By yea and nay, sir, then I swore in jest. What is the end of study? Let me know. Study me how to please the eye indeed, By fixing it upon a fairer eye.

LONGAVILLE

Berowne is like an envious sneaping frost That bites the first-born infantsof the spring.

BEROWNE (leaps onto stage right bench, animated)

Well, say I am: why should proud summer boast Before the birds have any cause to sing?

FERDINAND

Well, sit out; go home, Berowne; adieu.

FERDINAND begins to exit stage left, motioning to others to follow.

BEROWNE (returns to table)

No, my good lord; I have sworn to stay with you; I’ll write my name. (signs his name)

FERDINAND

How well this yielding rescues thee from shame!

BEROWNE (reading)

“Item, That no woman shall come within a mile of my court.”

This article, my liege, yourself must break; For well you know here comes in embassy

The French king’s daughter, with yourself to speak— A mild of grace and complete majesty—

About surrender up of Aquitaine

To her decrepit, sick, and bedrid father: Therefore this article is made in vain,

Or vainly comes th’ admired princess hither.

FERDINAND

What say you, lords? Why, this was quite forgot.

BEROWNE

So study evermore is over-shot:

We must of force dispense with this decree; She must lie here on mere necessity.

Necessity will make us all forsworn

Three thousand times within this three years’ space.

Enter DULL, the constable, holding a letter, from stage right. He is followed by COSTARD.

LONGAVILLE

Costard the swain shall be our sport; And so to study three years is butshort.

DULL

Signior Arm—Arm—commends you. There’s villainy abroad: this letter will tell you more. (hands letter to FERDINAND)

COSTARD

Sir, the contempts thereof are as touching me.

KING

A letter from the magnificent Armado.

COSTARD

The matter is to me, sir, as concerning Jaquenetta. The manner of it is, I was taken withthe manner.

BEROWNE

In what manner?

COSTARD

In manner and form following, sir; all those three:

I was seen with her in the manor-house, sitting with her upon the form, and taken following her into

the park; (sits on bench and pretends to have his arm around a woman on his right)—it is the manner of

a man to speak to a woman, for the form,—in some form.

FERDINAND

Will you hear this letter with attention? (reading) “Great deputy, the welkin’s vicegerent and sole dominator of Navarre, my soul’s earth’s god and body’s fostering patron.”

COSTARD

Not a word of Costard yet.

FERDINAND

Peace!

COSTARD

Be to me, and every man that dares not fight!

FERDINAND

No words!

COSTARD

Of other men’s secrets, I beseech you.

FERDINAND

“So it is, besieged with sable-coloured melancholy, I betook myself to walk, where, I did encounter that obscene and most preposterous event, there did I see that low-spiritedswain, that base minnow of thy mirth,”—

COSTARD

Me.

FERDINAND takes a step downstage to get away from COSTARD,

but COSTARD follows, looking over his shoulder. DULL, in turn, follows COSTARD.

FERDINAND

“that unlettered small-knowing soul,”—

COSTARD

Me.

FERDINAND (takes another step downstage; COSTARD follows, then DULL)

“that shallow vassal,”—

COSTARD

Still me?

FERDINAND (he takes yet another step; COSTARD follows, then DULL)

“which, as I remember, hight Costard,”—

COSTARD

O me!

FERDINAND

“sorted and consorted, contrary to thy established proclaimed edict and continent canon, with— with,— (can’t find the word; turns page over)

COSTARD

With a wench.

FERDINAND

“with a child of our grandmother Eve, a female; Jaquenetta, which Iapprehended with the aforesaid swain,— and shall, bring her to trial. Thine, in heart-burning heat of duty, DON ADRIANO DE ARMADO.”

FERDINAND

But, sirrah, what say you to this?

COSTARD

Sir, I confess the wench.

FERDINAND

Did you hear the proclamation?

COSTARD

I do confess much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it.

FERDINAND

Sir, I will pronounce your sentence: you shall fast a week with bran and water.

COSTARD

I had rather pray a month with mutton and porridge.

FERDINAND

And Don Armado shall be your keeper. My Lord Berowne, see him delivered o’er: And go we, lords, to put in practice that

Which each to other hath so strongly sworn.

Exit FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, and DUMAINE stage left.

BEROWNE

I’ll lay my head to any good man’s hat

These oaths and laws will prove an idle scorn. Sirrah, come on.

BEROWNE, COSTARD, and DULL begin to exit stage right.

COSTARD

I suffer for the truth, sir: for true it is I was taken with Jaquenetta, and Jaquenetta is atrue girl; and therefore welcome the sour cup of prosperity!

Affiiction may one day smile again; and till then, sit thee down, sorrow! (sits on bench)

BEROWNE and DULL drag bench offstage right, with COSTARD

remaining seated.

STAGEHANDS remove throne and table and set a second bench stage left.

✴ SCENE 2. (ACT II, SCENE I)

The King of Navarre’s Park.

Enter NARRATOR from stage rear, coming downstage.

NARRATOR

The Princess of France and her ladies arrive at Navarre. Ferdinand’s lords each take aninterest in one of the Princess’s ladies. Maybe that plan not to see women was not such a good idea!

Exit NARRATOR stage right.

Enter the PRINCESS OF FRANCE, ROSALINE, MARIA, KATHARINE,

and BOYET from stage rear.

BOYET and the PRINCESS stand center, with BOYET to the right of the PRINCESS, a few feet away from her. The threeLADIES stand to the left of the PRINCESS, in front of stage left bench.

BOYET

Now, madam, summon up your dearest spirits: Consider who the king your father sends,

and what’s his embassy:

To parley with Matchless Navarre; the plea of no less weight

Than Aquitaine, a dowry for a queen.

PRINCESS

Good Lord Boyet,

You are not ignorant, Navarre hath made a vow, Till painful study shall outwear three years,

No woman may approach his silent court: Tell him the daughter of the King of France,

Importunes personal conference with his Grace.

BOYET

Proud of employment, willingly I go.

Exit BOYET stage right.

PRINCESS (calling after him)

All pride is willing pride, and yours is so.

(to ladies) Who are the votaries,

that are vow-fellows with this virtuous duke?

MARIA (smiling)

Lord Longaville is one.

PRINCESS

Know you the man?

MARIA (steps forward)

I know him, madam: at a marriage feast, saw I this Longaville.

A man of sovereign parts, he is esteem’d, The only soil of his fair virtue’s gloss,—

Is a sharp wit match’d with too blunt a will.

PRINCESS

Such short-liv’d wits do wither as they grow. Who are the rest?

KATHARINE (steps forward)

The young Dumaine, a well-accomplish’d youth,

For he hath wit to make an ill shape good, And shape to win grace though he had no wit.

ROSALINE (steps forward)

Another of these students at that time

Was there with him, if I have heard a truth: Berowne they call him; but a merrier man, Within the limit of becoming mirth,

I never spent an hour’s talk withal.

PRINCESS

God bless my ladies! Are they all in love, That every one her own hath garnished With such bedecking ornaments of praise? Here comes Boyet.

Enter BOYET from stage right.

PRINCESS

Now, what admittance, lord?

BOYET (delighted and excited to be the bearer of good news)

Navarre had notice of your fair approach, And he and his competitors in oath

Were all address’d to meet you, gentle lady, Before I came. Marry, thus much I have learnt; He rather means to lodge you in the field,

Like one that comes here to besiege his court, Than seek a dispensation for his oath,

Here comes Navarre.

Enter FERDINAND, LONGAVILLE, DUMAINE, and BEROWNE from

stage right. All stand in front of stage right bench. FERDINAND

takes the PRINCESS’S hand and bows graciously. LONGAVILLE and

MARIA, KATHARINE and DUMAINE, and ROSALINE and BEROWNE

catch each other’s eyes.

FERDINAND

Fair Princess, welcome to the court of Navarre.

PRINCESS

“Fair” I give you back again; and “welcome” I have not yet: the roof of this court is too highto be yours, and welcome to the wide fields too base to be mine.

FERDINAND

Hear me, dear lady; I have sworn an oath.

PRINCESS

I hear your Grace hath sworn out house-keeping: ’Tis deadly sin to keep that oath, my lord,

And sin to break it.

The PRINCESS turns her back slightly to FERDINAND, facing her LADIES, who share a small smile/laugh with her.She then gives a paper to FERDINAND.

FERDINAND (moving to face the Princess again)

Madam, I will, if suddenly I may.

PRINCESS

You will the sooner that I were away,

For you’ll prove perjur’d if you make me stay.

(turns her back again slightly)

BEROWNE walks stage left toward ROSALINE, clears off the bench with his hat, and motions for her to sit. They both sit on the right side of the bench. All others freeze.

BEROWNE

Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?

ROSALINE

Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?

BEROWNE

I know you did.

ROSALINE

How needless was it then To ask the question!